


Satellite

by ryankellycc



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Explicit Language, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M, Mentions of sex work, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Other, Slow Burn, Songfic, boy bands instead of volleyball, people have a lot of trouble admitting their feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-05-22 06:43:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 53,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6069175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryankellycc/pseuds/ryankellycc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sugawara Koushi struggles with his past but, when he reconnects with an old acquaintance, he’s suddenly overwhelmed by a set of rambunctious new friends, a chance to re-establish himself, and a rapidly developing crush.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a thing! I have about 15 chapters planned, which might change as I write and edit, and I hope to update weekly. I'll add tags as the story progresses, both character and other, and I'll put any trigger warnings in the notes before each chapter. I'll also update the summary at some point because it's super vague.
> 
> Also, there will be songs. It's my world and I'll do what I want?

Suga stepped out of the shower, tightened a towel around his waist, and walked across the bathroom to stand in front of the mirror. Using his palm, he wiped off some condensation in the shape of a circle. He leaned closer until his face was framed by the condensation that around the circle he cleared. He touched the mole on his cheek bone and moved his fingers up to trace the small wrinkles that branched out from the corner of his eye. He brought his other hand to his face and, with both index fingers, traced the smile lines that didn’t quite disappear when he stopped smiling.

The fan in the bathroom finally kicked in, and the rest of the condensation evaporated. He turned to his side and examined his torso. He turned back to face the mirror and pinched the skin above his hip bones. He had always been slender, and at one time he had been fit, but now he had trouble keeping any muscle mass at all. He turned around to look at his backside through the towel. He grabbed both cheeks, lifted, and let them fall. He frowned at himself in the mirror. “They didn’t used to fall that like,” he murmured aloud.

He accepted the gradual procession of time, but that didn’t mean he was emotionally prepared to face his aging body. He kept telling himself that he was only 27, that he was still young and had his best years ahead of him. He reminded himself that no one else noticed the slight signs of aging, even if those little things stood out to him like signal flares on the side of the road.

As he looked at his bare chest, he tried to remember what it was like to not care about his physical appearance. He was 20 when he dropped out of school, 21 when he left town, and 22 when he chose to enter the sex industry. It didn’t take him long to learn that caring for and about his body went a long way with clients. If he didn’t feel comfortable in his own skin, everyone was disappointed, which meant he spent a lot of time at the mirror.

It had been a little over a month since he saw his last client, only a month since he returned. He couldn’t help wonder if any of his most recent clients thought he looked as old as he thought he did. He screened potential clients thoroughly, and no one ever said anything about it, but the thought remained. He placed both palms on the counter and put his weight on them. 

Suga shook his head and drops of water from his hair fell onto his dry shoulders. It doesn't matter anymore, he thought. He entered the sex industry for a number of reasons, it gave him freedom to travel as well as ample free time to pursue his interest in writing, but it was mostly to earn enough money to pay off his student debt as quickly as possible. Some of the people he met in the industry loved their work, which was great, but it wasn’t his dream job. After signing the last check to the company that held his loans, he moved back with the idea that he would settle down and exit the industry entirely. Get a job that could go on a resume. Make friends. Learn to cook. Normal stuff. Stuff that he didn't have to hide.

He straightened his back and started his bathroom routine. Floss. Brush teeth. Blow dry hair. There were a flew fly-aways that never fell flat against his head, and he begrudgingly accepted that it would be a cold day in hell before they decided to cooperate. Just for kicks, he tried to flatten them out. He laughed as they sprang back up. The bathroom light caught the silver of his hair and it shimmered as he ran his hands through the longer, more cooperative strands. 

After wiping his face, he secured the towel around his waist and stepped out of the bathroom to make his way down the hall and into his room, which wasn’t his room so much as a spare bedroom that his closest friend was kind enough to loan him.

He hopped into the room, shut the door behind him, and leaned against it. The room was an utter mess. Suga let his head fall back against the door and stared at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure what he imagined his late twenties to be like, but staying in the spare room of his friend’s apartment with no college degree and no job was definitely not it.

After a couple moments, he huffed and walked over to the pile of clothes seeping out of a well-used duffel bag. He artfully maneuvered around piles of used notebooks and scraps of paper along the way. He went to school for English and creative writing and, even though he had to drop out of school, he continued to read voraciously and write almost every day. He joined creative writing groups, book clubs, and volunteered with various literary magazines whenever he could in whatever town he happened to find himself. He had a laptop, but he preferred paper and pencil, even if it made his life a little less organized.

Suga dug through the clothing pile aimlessly and hummed to himself as he tossed clothing left and right. He knew he was doing his best; he spent almost every day of the last month handing out resumes in the morning and almost every afternoon surfing the internet for a place of his own, but, so far, he hadn’t had much luck. He didn’t have job experience that was fit for a resume and his list of references was a blank page. People from the industry told him it would be hard to enter the workforce and they weren’t wrong. He wondered how long he would have to look for a job, how long he would feel like a burden to everyone around him. 

Just as he shimmied into a pair of nicer-looking jeans, there was a quiet knock on the door. Suga knew that Asahi, his closest friend and only legal occupant of the apartment, wouldn’t come in until he confirmed that it was okay, so he jumped over his notebooks to open the door.

When shirtless Suga opened the bedroom door, Asahi yelped.

“Ah! Sorry!” Asahi blushed before taking a closer look at his friend and furrowing his brow. “Are you okay? Have you been eating? You look skinny.”

Suga scoffed. “This is just how I look. Not everyone has the genes of a were-beast, Asahi.”

The two friends were very different in stature. Where Suga was slender, Asahi was gigantic. He was tall, had rough facial hair, massive shoulders, natural muscle, and long hair. Asahi gave off a terrifying aura, which always made Suga laugh because, hovering right beneath his mobster-like exterior, was a timid, gentle soul that would have (and did, on numerous occasions) trouble swatting a bug. 

Asahi tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. Suga thought back to his crazy fly-aways as he admired Asahi’s hair. In their freshman year of college, when they first met, Asahi kept his hair in a low bun and used a hairband to keep the shorter pieces out of his face. Now, his hair was much longer and he was able to gather it all in bun higher on his head. Asahi hated that people were intimidated by him, and the length of his hair didn't help the misinterpretations of his personality, but Suga never got a straight answer as to why he never cut it. One of Asahi’s many mysteries, Suga mused.

Suga grabbed the closest shirt and threw it over his head. Once his arms were through and he pulled the shirt over his chest, he turned back to his friend.

Asahi paused and scratched the back of his neck. Suga recognized the nervous gesture and his shoulders tensed up. Would this be the day that Asahi asked him to move out?

“What’s up? Are you okay?” Suga asked, unsure of whether or not he wanted to hear the answer.

Asahi removed his hand quickly. “Oh, yeah, everything’s great. I just wanted to know if you were busy tonight, you know, later.”

Suga let out the breath he was holding and relaxed his shoulders. “Ah, no, I’m not busy. What did you have in mind?” He couldn’t remember the last time Asahi initiated night plans with him, if ever. Now that he knew he wouldn’t be evicted, his curiosity was piqued. He started to pick up the clothing that littered his floor and hung shirts over his arm.

“Want to go to a bar with me? It’s a cool place and I think there’s a band playing tonight.”

The request was so surprising that Suga couldn’t resist having a little fun. He dropped the clothing he was holding and brought both of his hands to his heart. He gasped loudly and batted his eyelashes. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

Asahi smiled, rolled his eyes, and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, obviously embarrassed. Suga walked over to him and looked up to catch his eyes. “Have you been in love with me this whole time?” 

It was hard to tell that Asahi was blushing, but the faint pink on the tips of his ears gave him away. He chuckled, “NO, Suga. I’m still not in love with you. Actually, I was invited by a friend and thought you’d like to join us.”

Suga thought about making another joke, but, still reeling in shock from Asahi’s interest in going to a bar for a night of drinking, music, and the distinct possibility of strangers touching him, he spoke with a slightly more serious tone. “Are you inviting me out as a third wheel? If you’re uncomfortable going somewhere to meet someone, maybe you should forget about them.”

Asahi responded. “N-no, it’s nothing like that! This friend let me know the show was happening and we thought it’d a fun thing.” Asahi paused. “Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, you met him years ago, before you left town. Do you remember a guy named Daichi? Sawamura Daichi? We ran into him at a karaoke bar one night before you left.”

Suga repeated the name to himself. His eyes widened when he remembered the evening in question. “Oh my gosh, I haven't thought of that night in so long! Hah! The Disney song! He was dating that tall guy with the crazy bedhead,” Suga tapped his forehead, “what was his name?”

Asahi looked confused for a second, like he didn’t remember there being another person that night. “Kuroo? Wow, it has been a long time. They’ve been broken up for years.”

Suga hummed thoughtfully. 

“They’re still friends, though. I think they work together. At least they did the last time we talked. It’s been a little while since we last got together. So, what do you think?”

Suga grinned. “You’re lucky that I just did laundry and have something decent to wear.” Suga’s grin turned devious. “Do I have to pretend to be your date if someone tries to rub up on you, like we did in college?”

Asahi let out an exasperated sigh. “That was a long time ago. I’ll be fine?”

Suga snorted. “Very convincing. Your long hair and bulging muscles might make people shake in their boots when you walk down the street, but being at a bar is an entirely different situation,” he winked. 

Asahi looked mortified. “I don’t try to, I don’t mean, I’m not - “

“Oh shush. You know you’re a handsome devil.” Asahi scrunched up his face and shook his head. “What time are we going?”

Asahi took his phone out of his back pocket and scrolled through what Suga assumed were text messages. “9:30?”

“Sure, though that seems early?”

Asahi shrugged. “Maybe it is. I don’t really do this stuff all that often.”

“Fair enough,” Suga replied. “What time is it now?”

“Almost ten. Are you job hunting today?”

“UGH, yes.” Suga frowned, suddenly feeling guilty. “You know, with money from my small savings account, I should be able to find an apartment soon, regardless of the job situation.” He looked at his feet. 

“I know you’re looking and I don’t mind you staying. Honestly? Stay for as long as you want. It’s been fun. I’m glad we get the chance to catch up. Plus, you cook for me. It's a pretty good deal.” Suga looked up to take in Asahi’s countenance. He was a sucker for small, warm smiles, and Asahi had one of the best.

“You’re too good for me.” Suga laughed in the hopes that it came off as a joke. Asahi was the only one of his friends, family, and acquaintances outside the industry that, upon finding out his profession, didn’t judge Suga for his decisions or look at him any differently. 

Asahi’s brow furrowed. “You know that’s not true. Anyway, I have to go now if I want to get to the school in time to plan before the kids come. See you after work?”

Suga gave him the thumbs up. “You got it. I’ll go grocery shopping and attempt to cook us some dinner. Gotta pull my weight around here!”

Asahi laughed and waved as he left and pulled the door closed behind him. Suga stood in place for a couple seconds before he grabbed a notebook and pencil and flopped down on the bed. He had a little time before he had to catch the bus into town, so he sat up and opened to a blank page. No words came as he tapped the paper with the pencil eraser. After a couple minutes, Suga gave up. He tossed the notebook and pencil on the floor and laid back down on the bed. Inspiration had been hard to come by lately, much like everything else. 

He sung softly to himself and stared at nothing in particular. He wondered if Daichi was as handsome as he remembered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suga has a rough day but his evening plans lift his spirits.

“If he’s half as handsome as I remember, it should be a good night,” Suga mumbled as he hauled himself out of bed. He was excited to spend the night with Asahi, sure, but he couldn’t help look forward to seeing whether or not Daichi measured up to the man he remembered from all those years ago. In front of the bathroom mirror, he smoothed his clothes and hair and took a couple deep breaths as he psyched himself up for another day of attempting to put his life together. He put on his best smile, walked out of the bathroom to grab his shoulder bag, and left the apartment with a spring in his step. 

After a morning of dropping off resumes, empty promises of follow-ups, more than a few failed attempts at reaching out to people looking for roommates, and an afternoon pity party that revolved around his dwindling bank account and utter lack of inspiration, he sat on a bench outside the local grocery store with his head in his hands. He repeated ‘tomorrow’s another day,’ to himself until the words seemed less like words and more like ambient noise. It was a good twenty minutes before he summoned the motivation to enter the grocery store and face the world again. 

Suga surveyed the aisles at the grocery store and checked the recipe he pulled up on his phone. It was still early fall, but the autumn winds had already picked up and made him crave something warm and filling. He knew Asahi would appreciate a hearty soup after a long afternoon of wrangling the children in his after-school program. He envisioned children hanging off Asahi’s limbs like monkeys in a forest and the image made him laugh aloud. 

A hearty soup will also be good for energy tonight, he thought as he threw vegetables into his basket. He never had any interest in cooking when it was just for himself, but, cooking for someone else was a different matter. After the first few times he cooked dinner for Asahi, he fell in love with the feeling, like he had more to offer than met the eye, like he could take care of the people he loved. 

Suga left the store and started in the direction of Asahi’s apartment building. He cradled the bundle of groceries to his chest and bit the inside of his lip as he recalled the events of the day he met Daichi. 

_Suga had walked out of the financial aid office that morning with a heavy heart and had decided that he wouldn’t be attending school the next semester, or the semester after that, and that he would leave all together. Sobs had wracked his body as he cried into Asahi’s chest. Eventually, when his tears dried up, he had begged Asahi to take him to a bar. Asahi’s burly appearance meant that it was relatively easy for him to get into bars despite being underage, and, given the circumstances, Suga had no problem taking advantage of it._

_They picked a bar at random and, when the two of them showed up, there was a small area cleared of tables and set up with a monitor and two microphones, which only meant one thing: they had dropped in on karaoke night. Suga had been plotting a way to get Asahi to sing when his friend grabbed his arm and pointed to the stage. Asahi had recognized the two guys holding microphones and pointed them out to Suga. Daichi was the shorter one with the cropped hair who played intramural volleyball with him and Kuroo, the taller one with at least 3 inches of spiked hair, was his boyfriend._

Suga toed off his shoes when he entered the empty apartment and started dinner, returning to his thoughts as he sorted through the groceries, chopped vegetables, and readied the stovetop. 

_Kuroo was an incredibly handsome guy with great stage presence, but, for whatever reason, Suga couldn’t tear his eyes away from the guy Asahi pointed out as Daichi. He had been laughing at something Kuroo said and Suga was mesmerized; he loved how Daichi's smile was just slightly lopsided, how his laugh rolled through him and made his shoulders shake. Daichi saw Asahi in the crowd and waved. When he and Suga locked eyes, Suga had thought, for the briefest of moments, that maybe the thing that could save him was standing awkwardly on a stage waiting to sing some stupid karaoke song. Kuroo put his arm around Daichi’s neck and whispered in his ear. The intimacy of the action had made Suga look down at the table. Why would someone be interested in him when they could be with a guy like Kuroo? Suga looked up at the stage when he heard Asahi laugh next to him. Kuroo was pointing to the monitor with a grin and Daichi had looked like he was going to throw up._

“Smells good!” Asahi said, startling Suga out of his reverie. 

Suga grabbed the closest spoon and raised it toward his friend like he intended to duel with it. “Back! Back I say!” 

Asahi jumped back with his hands in the air. “Okay! I’m back! Are you almost done? Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Yes, it’s almost done and no, I’ve got it covered. Just sit yourself down and I’ll bring you a bowl.” Asahi tried to protest, so Suga help up the spoon and glared until Asahi sat down at the table. Once the meal was served, Suga sat down and they shared stories from their day before going over plans for the evening. 

“Is there anyone else coming?” Suga asked.

“Possibly, but I didn’t think to ask. Daichi usually coordinates these things.”

“Huh. Is he a control freak or something?” 

Asahi looked offended by Suga’s question. “Not at all,” he said, “I think he just likes bringing people together.”

“Ah,” Suga replied. “Don’t mind me, I’m a jerk,” he said as he looked down at his empty bowl. He wondered if he would ever reach a point in his life when he wouldn’t automatically assume the worst of people. 

Asahi got up with his bowl, put Suga’s on top, and put his free hand on Suga’s shoulder. “Hey, you’re not a jerk. You just,” Asahi searched for the right words, “you’ve just been taking care of yourself all this time. It’s fine. I’ll wash dishes, and then we’ll get ready to go?”

Suga put his hand on top of Asahi’s and smiled up at his friend. “Perfect. I’ll go get dressed and call a cab.”

The cab came and took them to the bar. Once they were inside the building, Asahi took advantage of his height to scan the crowd for Daichi. 

“I don’t see him. I guess we didn’t need to leave the house so early,” Asahi glowered. “I’m sorry.”

Suga rolled his eyes, took off his scarf, and whipped it at Asahi’s arm. “No negative Asahi tonight!”

Asahi shrunk a little but managed a smile. 

“Heh. I’m smiling, see?” Asahi pointed to his face and then to the bar. “Drinks?”

Suga’s face brightened considerably. A drink would soothe his nerves. My nerves? “Yes. Drinks are in order. I’m buying.”

Asahi started to speak but Suga cut him off. “No ‘buts’! You’ve been letting me stay in your apartment all this time. Beer? Stay by the entrance and wait, I’ll be back in a sec.”

Asahi nodded and took his post. Suga pushed through the crowd and made it to the bar where he flagged the bartender. 

“Can I get whatever lager you have on tap and a gin and tonic?”

The bartender, a scruffy-looking guy with blonde hair and a headband, not unlike the one Asahi used to wear, nodded in Suga’s direction and started on the drinks. Suga looked around. He saw the stage set up near the back of the building and remembered that Asahi mentioned a band would be performing.

When the bartender handed him the drinks, he motioned to the stage and asked who was playing. 

“You’re here and you don’t know?”

Suga shook his head ‘no.’

“We booked some local hot-shot band to play tonight. The Court. I don’t much care for them, but we’re trying to get more local music. Brings people in.” The bartender looked to the other end of the bar where someone else vied for his attention. 

Suga paid and left a couple dollars on the bar. “Ah. Thanks!”

When the bartender turned around, Suga turned as well. He was excited by the prospect of seeing a local band. He didn’t have much experience with music, but he appreciated the talent it took to put together a song and often wondered about setting his own poetry to music. He imagined it was the most amazing feeling, to be able to watch someone pour their heart and talent into your words. 

He made his way back to Asahi but stopped when he saw that Asahi was no longer alone. His friend was facing him and the other guy had his back turned. The guy was shorter than Asahi, but looked just as strong. He had on a t-shirt, which gave Suga a spine-tingling view of his muscular back, wide shoulders, and narrow waist. His arms were tanned nicely and moved around as he spoke. Suga stood on his tip-toes to catch of glimpse of his ass, which did not disappoint. Suga came down on his heels and brought his eyes up to the back of his head. The short, dark hair made Suga think - 

“Suga! Over here!” Asahi waved and the other guy turned to look with a big, lopsided smile. Suga’s suspicions were confirmed and butterflies erupted in his stomach. He moved as quickly as he could to join the group.

After what seemed like an eternity of getting bumped around by strangers, Suga passed Asahi his beer, who sipped off the top to avoid further spilling, and nodded at Daichi before taking a sip of his own drink. Suga cursed to himself, the guy was a thousand times more handsome than he remembered. Daichi’s teeth peeked through his parted lips and Suga noticed the slightest smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose. His hair was short but just a little wild and Suga gripped the side of his pants to restrain himself from reaching out to run his fingers through it.

Daichi clapped Asahi on the shoulder. “You didn’t tell me Suga was the friend that you invited!” Daichi ran his eyes over Suga’s face like he was trying desperately to commit every detail to memory. Suga was used to these appraising looks, but there was something different about Daichi’s gaze. His dark brown eyes were soft and wide, like he stumbled upon something that he didn’t expect and it was better than he dreamed it would be. “Suga, you let your hair grow out a little. It’s nice. I mean, you look great. Really great.” He paused. “Wait, do you remember me?”

“How could I forget such a memorable rendition of ‘A Whole New World’?” Suga said with a grin as he caught the straw of his drink.

Asahi choked on his sip of beer.

Daichi cringed. “I was sort of hoping you’d remember every other part of the evening and conveniently forget about the actual singing.”

“I’m not sure memory works like that,” Asahi managed to squeak between peals of laughter. 

“A guy can dream,” Daichi sighed.

Suga decided that it physically impossible to wipe the stupid grin off his face and let it go. He watched Daichi and Asahi chat as he sipped his drink.

_When the music had started, Suga and Asahi could barely keep it together. Daichi was frozen in place, like a deer in headlights. Kuroo had a good voice and moved gracefully around the stage, but Daichi stood frozen in place and sung along in a soft monotone. After the song, Daichi had walked off immediately, but Kuroo bowed dramatically and earned a roar of laughter from the crowd._

_Suga was surprised when Daichi had showed up at their table, exchanged a quick greeting with Asahi, and stood in front of him with his hand out. Suga was about to take it when Kuroo had appeared behind him, snuck his hands around Daichi’s waist and winked. Suga pulled his hand away and waved instead. Kuroo and Daichi sat down with them and they laughed as Kuroo taunted Daichi about his apathy toward the ‘greatest karaoke duet of all time’ and their ‘defining moment.’ At some point, Kuroo had seen someone else he knew and got up to meet them. Suga had expected Daichi to get up, too, but he stayed close the rest of the night. When it came time to part ways, Daichi had asked if he would be around. Suga told him he was leaving. That was that._

Suga cleared his throat to join the conversation. “I just asked the bartender about the band that’s playing. Asahi didn’t seem sure, but maybe you know something about them?” He directed the last question at Daichi.

“Actually, that was the reason I invited Asahi along tonight. The Court is pretty fun, both the singer and mixer, well, mixer, keyboardist, and guitarist are extremely talented. I know them from a while back, but we're not super close. They're busy with touring and being famous.”

Suga couldn’t help himself. “Musical friends, huh? Maybe they rubbed off on you after all these years? Should we test our skills at a karaoke bar after the show?”

Daichi gave him a confident look. “I was just put off by the song. I’m not too bad a singer, though I prefer to play guitar.”

Suga raised his eyebrows. Just when he thought Daichi couldn’t get any hotter. “You play guitar?

Daichi put his hands on his hips. “Yup, though I don’t like doing any of the fancy guitar solo stuff. I’m more of a rhythm guy.”

“Wow. That’s pretty cool.” He sipped his drink again, reaching the ice at the bottom and making an unattractive slurping noise. Suga brought his hand to his face and smacked his forehead. “We’ve been talking this whole time and you haven’t even gotten your drink yet.” Suga pouted and pointed at Daichi’s empty hands. 

Daichi touched his fingertips together like a villain in a movie. “Maybe that’s all part of the plan.”

Suga cocked his head and looked at a confused Asahi.

“I was waiting until you finished your first drinks so that I could treat you both to a round.”

“That’s sweet of you, but I really couldn’t let - “

Daichi cut Suga off before he could finish. “Nuh-uh. Nope. My treat. What’re you drinking, Suga? Asahi, another beer?”

“Anything is fine.” Daichi squinted at Suga and crossed his arms over his chest. Suga relented. “Gin and tonic. Thank you.”

Before Daichi could head to the bar, they heard someone scream his name from the entrance. Suga looked over at Asahi, who was already scanning the crowd. 

Daichi waved the voice over to their spot. A guy with a shaved head and gauged ears came over and clapped Daichi on the back. He had a loud, good-natured laugh that rang between them.

“Daichi! Hey man! This is AWESOME!” He flexed his muscles as he brought his elbows to his side and closed his fists. 

A shorter man with slicked up dark brown hair, bleached in the front, popped out from behind the one with the shaved head. Suga’s gaze was drawn to his two full-sleeve tattoos. He wondered what Asahi thought about them, so he looked at Asahi who, to his surprise, was smiling fondly at the smaller man. 

“Hey Noya, Tanaka. Glad to see you here!” Asahi said as the two newcomers flanked him. Noya was the first to address Suga. “What’s up? You’re friends with Asahi, right?”

“Yup. Sugawara Koushi. Suga for short.”

Noya’s eyes lit up. “Cool! Asahi told me he had a friend staying at his place for awhile. Glad to finally meetcha!” He looked up at Asahi for a fist bump, which Asahi tentatively returned. Suga brought his hand to mouth to stifle a giggle, he couldn’t believe how comfortable Asahi was around these guys. It felt like just yesterday that Suga had to push him to open up to others. He scolded himself for not keeping in better touch.

“Asahi, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you do a fist bump.” Daichi laughed at Suga’s observation.

Tanaka guffawed. “He might be a little shy, but SERIOUSLY. This guy. It’s a real treat to jam with him.”

Suga could’ve sworn he felt his jaw hit the floor. Asahi’s face turned beet red. Noya jumped in the air. 

“Yosh! Asahi’s awesome! He KILLS it on vocals.”

Suga was speechless, and, mercifully, Daichi swooped in to explain, “I met Noya and Tanaka a couple months ago at an open mic night, turns out Tanaka drums and Noya can play the bass. Well, I recognized Asahi at the elementary school when I went for work one day and we made plans to catch up. One thing led to another and I found out that Asahi had an impressive voice, so we got together and we, honestly, we rocked out. The four of us haven’t played music in a while, though.” 

He stared at Daichi like he had just been speaking a different language. Suga blinked a couple times and, without a word, slowly turned to Asahi, who paled. He knew what was coming. Suga punched him in the stomach.

“You big oaf! How have I never heard about this? That’s AMAZING!”

Tanaka, Noya, and Daichi stared with wide eyes. Suga was stronger than he looked, but, luckily for him, Asahi was exactly as strong as he looked. 

Asahi grabbed his side and tried to smile, “It never came up!” He held his hands to his side before turning to Daichi, Noya, and Tanaka. “Suga is a writer, so maybe he can join us sometime? Daichi, you were talking about wanting to do something more original the last time we got together.”

Suga paled, but everyone else had stars in their eyes. Before Asahi’s revelation was addressed, however, there was a loud bang from the stage. Tanaka looked over his shoulder. “The band’s already setting up. Drinks? Anyone? All of us? Only me?”

Daichi moved forward toward Tanaka. “This round’s my treat, but you’re going to help me carry them.” Tanka acquiesced with a bow.

“You know what I want, dude?” Noya asked Tanaka with a flutter of his eyelashes. “Uh, do you even need to ask?” he responded as Daichi led him away. 

While Daichi and Tanaka were at the bar, Suga was entertained by the way Noya showered Asahi with compliments. Immediately after they got their drinks, the lights dimmed. 

Suga looked up on stage. There were four people: an angry looking dude with blond, frizzy hair at the drum kit, a guy with what looked like a mohawk but was actually just pointy hair on the guitar, a brooding guy on the keyboard and mixer, and a singer at the microphone. The man at the microphone was conventionally handsome, Suga gave him that, and had an overwhelming presence on stage. He had floppy brown hair that flipped out at the ends and lidded brown eyes that scanned the crowd. He felt someone touch his elbow and whisper in his ear.

“The singer is Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime is on the keyboard tonight. They’re the ones I knew way back when.” Suga only nodded as he tried to will strength into his knees; Daichi’s whisper had sent jolt of electricity through his body.

The music started up, softly like a heartbeat, and Oikawa opened his mouth to sing. 

 I like where we are  
 When we drive, in your car  
 I like, where we are, here

He paused and gripped the microphone, still on the stand, with both hands as the music continued behind him. He stood close so that the crowd could hear each puff of breath. His eyes were closed. Suga could understand why the crowd was literally squealing with delight. He was an absolute pleasure to look at with a mesmerizing voice to match. The music was soft, only a couple notes on the guitar and keyboard, and it picked up for the second verse.

 Cause our lips, can touch  
 And our cheeks, can brush  
 Our lips can touch, here

Green and blue spotlights lit up the stage and all of the sudden everyone was dancing. Suga watched Tanaka lead Noya out into the crowd, and he, in turn, grabbed Asahi. Suga stood on his tip-toes and tried to make eye contact with Asahi. His friend turned around when he felt Suga’s gaze and gave him the thumbs up. Suga relaxed, took a sip of his drink and started bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

 Well you are the one, the one who lies close to me  
 Whispers “Hello, I missed you quite terribly”  
 I fell in love, in love with you suddenly  
 Now there’s no place else I could be but here in your arms

Suga was enjoying himself so thoroughly that had almost forgotten about the person standing next to him. He was so accustomed to going out alone that he almost jumped when he heard the whisper in his ear. 

“Want to dance?”

Suga took one last sip of his drink and turned to face Daichi, who had not moved after whispering in his ear. Their faces were inches apart. He took a deep breath and nodded. Daichi stepped back and held out his hand, just like he did when they first met. This time, Suga took it. 

 I like where you sleep  
 When you sleep, next to me  
 I like where you sleep, here

 Our lips, can touch  
 And our cheeks, can brush  
 Our lips can touch, here

Daichi led Suga close to where Asahi, Tanaka, and Noya were dancing. He rolled his eyes; dancing might’ve been too strong of a word. Tanaka was pumping his arms, Noya was sort of jumping up and down and flailing, and Asahi was swaying completely out of time. All three of them were smiling and happy, which made Suga’s heart swell in his chest. He felt Daichi let go and turned to look at his dance partner.

Daichi’s face was flushed. He bobbed his head to the beat of the song for a few seconds before starting to move. Suga threw his head back and laughed because Daichi looked like a dad that had one too many drinks at a barbeque. Daichi cocked his head. Suga  
mouthed ‘nothing’ as he also started to move. 

 Well you are the one, the one who lies close to me  
 Whispers “Hello, I missed you quite terribly”  
 I fell in love, in love with you suddenly  
 Now there’s no place else I could be but here in your arms

Maybe it was the song, or the two drinks, or the comfort in seeing his closest friend having such a good time, but Suga moved closer to Daichi as they danced. They had begun holding hands at some point during the last verse. Daichi looked at their clasped fingers, put on a mischievous grin, and spun Suga like they were waltzing at a ball. It was so unexpected that Suga yelped as he was spun away and then brought back into Daichi’s chest. Suga moved his arms around Daichi’s neck and Daichi held him lightly by the hips. 

As the song wound down, Suga held onto Daichi as if he were a lifeline. Daichi was a stranger, and Suga knew it was ridiculous, but it felt right, like everything would be okay.

 Here in your arms  
 Here in your arms

The song ended and Daichi bit the bottom of his lip as he looked at Suga, who smiled back at him. The crowded cheered as The Court transitioned into their next song. The music was good, but Suga suspected that he was excited for the rest of the set not because of the band, but because he had the best dance partner in the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is "Here in your Arms" by Hellogoodbye. Listen to it! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVsMNGuCXtM
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos on the first chapter! Chapter three will be out next Saturday, March 5th.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daichi wakes up the morning after and tries to get a handle on the events of the previous night. But, before he can, life throws him another surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the notes and comments on the last chapter! And thank you for following the story!

He stood in front of a closed door, unsure of how he got there but positive he had to open it. The door knob stuck, so he turned it harder. When the door finally opened, he had to shield his eyes from the bright light coming from within the room. He stumbled forward. Suddenly, a loud beeping filled every nook and cranny of his brain. 

“What the- “ Daichi mumbled as he fumbled for his phone. He turned off the alarm and rubbed his eyes. 

He really hadn’t planned to stay out as late as he did the night before, but his good intentions went straight out the window almost as soon as he arrived at the bar. Smiling, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and made his way to the bathroom.

After a quick shower, he threw on the most casual work clothing he had and wandered into the kitchen to make some coffee. While the coffee brewed, he checked his unread messages.

From: Nishinoya Yuu  
damn Dai. thirsty much?

From: Tanaka Ryunosuke  
DUDE. just. dude. we didnt have the heart to ask you to take it down a notch. or seven.

He groaned. They weren’t wrong. He held onto Suga like he was in danger of fading away. It wasn’t totally unreasonable, Daichi thought. The guy had disappeared before. 

After that night in the karaoke bar, he couldn’t get Suga out of his head. He started hanging out with Asahi more frequently and peppered him with questions about his friend. On good days, Asahi would show him a picture that Suga sent him from one tourist location or another. They’d be selfies of Suga holding up a peace sign and smiling big. Those were good days. Most of the time, though, Asahi would answer with a vague ‘last time we talked, he was okay” and then change the subject. On bad days, Asahi would just shrug and stay quiet.

The years passed and work pulled them both in separate directions. He stopped asking about Suga, not because he didn’t want to know, but because the bad days began to outnumber the good. After graduating, he went to business school, which kept him busy. In his last year, Kuroo, who became an ex shortly after Suga left, got him a job at the nonprofit that he helped manage. The organization collected donations and distributed them to kids in the area, which was how he ran into Asahi again. He taught an after-school program at one of the local elementary schools that Daichi’s organization served. 

They started to hang out again and Daichi introduced him to his friends, the same friends they went out with the night before. Suga never came up and Daichi didn’t ask. He accepted that seeing Suga that night was a one time thing, and that the sparks between them were at best fictional and completely one-sided.

It sounded sappy, but he desperately wanted to feel those sparks again. A few months after meeting Suga and breaking it off Kuroo, he continued to search. He went on date after date and refused to lose hope that he would find that connection again. It pained him too much to think that, because he let Suga leave, he lost his only opportunity.

Daichi put his breakfast dishes in the sink, pulled a hoodie over his head, and grabbed his backpack. He hopped into his truck and paused before putting the key into the ignition. 

He spent a long time cursing himself for how the night at the karaoke bar ended, so the night before felt like a second chance. When he extended his hand and Suga took it, he decided that he would do everything he could, be whatever he had to be, to keep Suga close. He shivered as he thought of Suga’s hands on the back of his neck and in his hair. He remembered how perfectly his thumbs rested on Suga’s hips and how his silver hair caught blue, green, and purple light from the stage. He put the key in the ignition and drove to work. 

When he arrived at the office and donation warehouse, he found the doors unlocked already. He went into the lobby, past the recently vacated reception desk, and entered the office. He found his petite, blonde co-worker alone in the office and scribbling furiously, so he coughed to make his presence known. She jumped at least a foot in the air and knocked the papers off her desk.

“Daichi! Sorry! Hi! I, um, I just wanted to get some extra work done before people came, I should have told you I’d be here, I’m sorry!”

They both kneeled down. “No worries at all,” he looked at her out of the corner of his eye, “but I'm pretty sure you're above your forty hours for the week.”

Yachi sat back on her heels to straighten out the pile of papers in her hand. “I know, I was just really excited about the new poster we want to print next week. I’ll leave in an hour, I promise!”

Daichi laughed and patted the volunteer coordinator on the shoulder as they both got up. “Just take care of yourself, Yachi.”

Yachi’s hair bobbed with each enthusiastic nod. “I will! Thank you!” 

She sat back down and continued to work, perhaps a little more frantically than before. Daichi made his way toward his desk at the back of the office.  
“Ennoshita always makes me look bad,” Daichi said to himself as he plopped down at his own desk. 

Ennoshita’s desk was covered in neon sticky notes; phone numbers, names, donation goals, voicemails were all written down neatly and organized by color. The only thing on Daichi’s desk was a small toy guitar on a stand. He picked it up and ran his fingers over it. His phone buzzed in his pocket, so he put the tiny guitar in its spot and checked his phone. 

From: Nishinoya  
soooo howd it feel dancing with the bell of the ball last night???

Daichi rolled his eyes as he opened up a group chat. 

To: Tanaka, Nishinoya  
You both need to relax. And it’s “belle” of the ball.

From: Tanaka  
but we havent seen you all up on someone like that in ages

From: Noya  
i mean, the disney princess look doesn’t do it for me, but he sure was pretty

From: Tanaka  
ya seemed nice too. like a mom or smth

From: Daichi  
We’re not talking about this. Didn’t one of you have to work this morning? 

From: Tanaka  
scheduled to go in an hour. wouldnt want to miss one single second of kiyoko’s silence

From: Noya  
hell ya i was on time. made her a drink this morning and she ignored it. was a religious experience.

Kiyoko was Noya and Tanaka’s manager at an independent coffee shop and café that also acted as a gallery and event space. Daichi had met Noya and Tanaka at one of their open mic nights the summer before. Noya and Tanaka were ridiculous human beings, but he could sort of understand their bizarre behavior. Kiyoko was jaw-droppingly beautiful. 

From Daichi:  
Sounds about right. I have to get to work, so talk later. 

From: Noya  
gonna call him? 

Oh no. He closed the group message and went through his contacts before slamming his head down on the desk. He never asked Suga for his number. 

“Daichi?”

He looked up to see the weekend staff gathered around his desk, awaiting his orders for the day. Right. Work. His doomed love life could wait. 

After the first shift of volunteers left, Daichi ran to the convenience store across the street. It didn’t take him long to grab a piece of fruit, pay for it, and walk back toward the office, but the presence of someone at the bus stop froze him in place.

“Suga?”

Suga’s head jerked up from his phone. He looked at Daichi like he had just popped out of the concrete. “Daichi?” 

“Yeah! Hey!” Daichi’s voice came out both higher and louder than he expected, which made him flush, which made him self-conscious and, in turn, even more embarrassed. He tried to grab onto the fleeing shreds of his dignity. “What brings you to this part of town?”

“I think I got on the wrong bus. I wasn’t paying attention and, all of a sudden, I’m in the middle of this warehouse jungle. Sheesh. You’d think I know more about the town I lived in for so many years, huh?” Suga crossed his arms across his chest, leaned back against the wall of the stop, and cocked his head. “What’re you doing here? Not stalking me are you?”

Daichi didn’t have time to wave goodbye to the rest of his chill.

“No! I mean, no, I work in that building.” Daichi pointed behind him. Suga nodded and Daichi panicked. He was lucky enough to run into Suga twice in one weekend. An idea popped into his head and he decided to roll with it. “This sounds weird, but are you free for the next couple of hours?”

“I was on my way to hand out resumes at the mall, ” Suga patted his leather shoulder bag.

“Good. Right. That’s important. I totally understand if you need to keep at it, but, if you want to put off handing resumes, you can come volunteer at my work? We’re getting ready for the last volunteer shift of the day. You’d just be sorting through donations with other volunteers and, I - uh - sorry, this is crazy, you have better things - ” 

Suga cut him off. “That’d be cool, actually, and probably a better use of my time. It’s really not a problem?”

Daichi’s face was serious, but he was downright giddy. “No! No problem. Come on. I’ll get you set up.” He motioned for Suga to walk with him. 

Ten minutes later, Suga was working with the other volunteers and Daichi fidgeted nervously at his desk. He leaned back in his chair and looked out at the empty lobby. Huh. He grabbed his phone and chose a familiar contact from the list.

“Hey, sorry to bother….NO, this is not a booty call. When has that ever - nevermind. I have a favor to ask. Do we still have the budget for a receptionist?...Part-time’ll work, I think….I have someone in mind, can you interview him Monday? I’ll get a time….Yeah, yeah, sorry. I owe you one….FINE, I owe you whatever. Just let me know…. Okay, you too, bye.”

He hung up the phone and sat forward in his seat, elbows on his desk. He wasn’t sure how it would play out, but he figured it’d be worth a try. He mustered every ounce of willpower he had and plowed through his own work.

When he spotted people walking through the lobby on their way out, he sprung from his desk and went to look for Suga, who he found helping the weekend staff clean up after the shift. They didn’t notice him, so he leaned against the wall and watched Suga laugh at his co-worker’s jokes as he swept the floor. He felt like he could watch Suga smile all day and never want for anything else.

Eventually, Daichi came out of hiding to thank the the staff for their work and to steal as much of Suga's time as possible. The staff left and Daichi led Suga back to the office.

“How’d it go?”

Suga beamed. “It was fun! I’ve never done anything like this before. I mean, I’ve volunteered, but that was mostly administrative.”

“Oh, where'd you volunteer?”

Suga pressed his lips together and looked right into Daichi’s eyes, like he was searching for something specific. He wondered if Suga found it. “Human rights. I filed paperwork at a few organizations that worked to represent victims of human trafficking.” 

“Wow.” Daichi was impressed. Not many people their age took the time to volunteer on their own. He couldn’t wait to get to know this man. “It’s good to be a part of something that empowers people.”

Suga nodded in agreement, but kept quiet. Daichi spoke again. “So, you’re still looking for a job?”

“Yeah. It hasn’t been easy, but, I mean, I get it. I'm not the most qualified applicant” Suga frowned.

“How would you like to work here? We have an open receptionist position, if you’re interested? It’s not the most exciting work, and it’s only part-time, and I got you an interview on Monday. If you’re free. Only if you want.”

Suga met Daichi’s eyes again and his expression was serious. Crap, Daichi thought. Way to overstep your boundaries.

“I’m sorry, I don’t want to be presumptuous. I just saw the empty desk this morning, and then you showed up. You’d probably be bored and it’s no problem if you want to find something better - “

He didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t a hard punch to the gut and an exuberant laugh.

“What?! Are you serious? I’d love to work here! Monday’s great!” Suga furrowed his brow in thought. “I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but why me? There must be a million people more qualified than I am.”

“Eh, there are a million people qualified to do every job, including mine. I just think you’d be a good fit.” He left out the part that the idea of seeing Suga at work every day made him want to jump up and down. “Let me just text Kuroo to let him know that you’ll be in tomorrow morning. 10am okay?”

Suga nodded, but looked confused. 

“Oh, right. Kuroo’s the office manager, so he’s in charge of office staff. He was the one that got me this job a couple years ago. Is that weird?”

Suga shook his head. “Not at all. It’s cool that you guys are still friends. Not everyone can manage it.” 

Daichi hummed as he texted Kuroo. They stood in comfortable silence. Suga checked his phone, which made Daichi’s heart race. He wasn’t ready to let Suga go. 

“Do you have any plans after this? Want to grab a coffee?” he said quickly.

Much to his delight, Suga agreed.

“Wait right here while I finish up and lock the building.”

Suga gave him the thumbs up and Daichi walked away. When he was out of Suga’s sight, he ran around the warehouse to shut everything down as soon as humanly possible.

When everything was locked up, they walked to Daichi’s car. It amazed him how easily they were able to talk, about Suga’s morning, about the volunteer experience, about the show the night before. They kept their conversation going right up until they entered the coffee shop. 

The bell on the door jingled as he pushed it open and, before he had a chance to breathe, he heard his name. Noya grinned at them from behind the counter. 

“Fancy seeing you guys here, all together and stuff,” he waggled his eyebrows.

Daichi felt his eyes glaze over. Noya’s smiled dropped and he turned his head to face a door leading behind the bar. “Tanaka! Bro! Get out here!”

Tanaka burst through the door like a bat out of hell. When he recognized Daichi and Suga, he whooped and came around the counter to greet them. 

“Hey-o! You two!” He was about to put his arm around Suga’s neck, but Daichi intensified his glare and Tanaka backed away. Suga put his hand to his mouth and laughed when he saw Daichi staring down the two of them. 

Once they were both a respectable distance away from Suga, Daichi cleared his throat. “Shouldn’t you two jokers be working? Wouldn't want to have to call Kiyoko about her employees...”

At the mention of their manager’s name, Noya and Tanaka both cleared their throats, put on the face of Buddha, and put their palms together as if in prayer. They said, in unison, “what can we offer you today, fellow countrymen and dear friends?”

Daichi relaxed when he saw Suga roll his eyes and laugh.

“I think I’d just like an americano, if you two would be so kind.”

Daichi nodded. “Me too.”

Noya turned around to write their orders on cups. Tanaka jumped over the bar and caught the first the cup that Noya threw in his direction.

Once Noya was back at the register, Daichi and Suga both took out their wallets to pay. Daichi tried to convince Suga to put his wallet away, but didn’t have much luck. It wasn’t until Noya sighed dramatically and reached across the bar to grab Daichi’s cash that Suga relented. 

Noya hummed happily as he made change. “Suga, not only are you Asahi’s most treasured friend, but Daichi here would have my head if I let you pay.”

“Oh?” Suga said as he leaned on the counter next to Daichi. Their shoulders almost touched. Daichi gulped. “Any why would Daichi have your head, hm?”

Noya crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s not every day that Daichi gets all googly-eyed over someone he just met -”

Daichi reached his hand across the counter to knock Noya in the head, but Suga caught his arm and smiled so brightly that Daichi forgot for a second that he was pissed. 

“Alright now. Why don’t we sit down and let the kids work, hm?” Suga motioned to the sofa near the back of the cafe. Daichi glared at Noya. The only thing better than hitting Noya over the head for his smartass remarks would be sitting close to Suga on a couch. As they walked over to the couch, Daichi turned to make the “I’m watching you” gesture at both Noya and Tanaka. 

When they were both settled with their drinks, Daichi started explaining how the café accommodated bands during open mic nights. 

“But they only have open mic nights during the spring and summer because they're outdoors. We won’t see any of those for a while.” Daichi frowned. 

“It’ll give you guys time to practice, though, right?” Suga looked at him over his cup as he took a sip. 

“Hm? Oh, the band thing. It’s kind of a stupid idea, right?” Daichi laughed despite himself. His doubts bubbled to the surface. “I mean, I’m too old for that. I can’t just go starting bands.” He felt a warm hand on his knee and thought he might melt into the couch. 

“It’s not stupid. It’s cool. And you have awesome friends that seem to want the same thing. I’m crap at following my own advice,” Suga looked across the café, “but there can’t be one single way of being a grown-up, right?”

Daichi resisted the urge to reach out and tuck a stray strand of silver hair behind Suga’s ear. “I guess not. Though I’m no Oikawa.”

Suga removed his hand and put it back on his cup. He looked right into Daichi’s eyes. “A wise man once told me that there will always be a million people better than you at something. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. And you can find other bandmates to fill in the gaps.”

Daichi let out a laugh. “That’s not really what I said.”

Suga shrugged. “I was paraphrasing.” He looked down at his coffee and bit his lip like he was about to say something, but he stayed silent. “So,” Daichi started. "I remember Asahi saying that you were a writer... Do you think you'd want to help us write songs?"

"I don't really have any experience with songwriting," Suga said matter-of-factly.

“"We don't have much experience either. What if I arranged for a ‘practice’ this weekend? Would you be able to go? Would you want to go?”

“I think I could fit it into my busy schedule.” Suga joked. The smile fell from his face and he cleared his throat. “This is kind of a non-sequitur and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want, but I'm curious. What happened between you and Kuroo?”

Daichi watched his friends behind the counter as he processed Suga’s question. He hated that question. It was a valid one, sure, but it was hard to answer.

“Promise you won’t think I’m lame?” 

Suga marked a cross over his heart. 

“Honestly? I just always felt like I wasn’t enough, like what I wanted wasn’t enough for him, and it made me feel like crap”

Suga looked at him with wide eyes. “I’m sorry to hear it. And you're not lame for not wanting to be with someone who makes you feel like that."

“Yeah. There were really never any sparks between us, either.” Daichi bit his tongue.

“Ah,” Suga looked at his nearly empty cup. His leg started to bounce. “This might sound really insensitive, but do you mind if I write down what you just said?” 

“No?”

“Thanks, sorry, just give me a moment.”

Daichi watched as Suga concentrated on the page, chewed on end of his pen, and mouthed words to himself as he wrote in the small notebook he grabbed from his bag. Finally, he closed his notebook around his pen, put in back in his bag, and leaned back into the sofa with his eyes closed. A soft smile tugged at the sides of his mouth. 

“You okay?” 

Suga opened his eyes. “More than okay. It’s been awhile since I’ve felt inspired enough to grab a notebook and write. Maybe this means we should hang out more often.”

Daichi couldn’t believe his ears. “Me? Hang out with me?”

Suga poked him in the chest. “Yes, you. Now, it's getting late. We finished our coffees and I promised Asahi I’d cook him dinner. Drive me home?” 

He was still reeling from the impossible idea that he could inspire someone else, let alone Suga. “Right. Let’s slip out when it’s busy.”

They got out right as a group of girls wandered into the café, but Daichi caught the kissing noises that came from behind the espresso machine. He cringed and followed Suga out of the cafe.

Sooner than Daichi wanted, they were parked in front of Asahi’s apartment complex. He took a deep breath before spoke.

“Hey, can I give you my number? Just in case you get lost on Monday, or need me?”

“Need you?” Suga winked as he opened a new contact on his phone and handed it over. Daichi blushed and felt heat pool in his gut. He put in his number and handed back the phone, grazing Suga’s fingers as he did. Suga thanked him as he got out of the car and walked in the direction of Asahi’s apartment building.

Daichi pulled away when he saw Suga go through the main doors. On the way home, his phone buzzed with a text. Noya and Tanaka could wait until he got home.

Once he closed his front door, Daichi dropped everything he had and immediately plopped himself onto the couch. He unlocked his phone.

From: Unknown Number  
Thanks for today. Don’t know what I can do to repay my debt. Maybe I can make you dinner sometime? At our first band practice?

Finally, in the comfort of his own home, Daichi grinned from ear to ear. He added the number to his contacts.

To: Suga  
No debt, but dinner at our first practice would be amazing.

From: Suga  
Can’t wait. See you Monday morning :)

Daichi stared at his screen for a second before he responded. He couldn’t remember the last time he looked forward to a Monday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daichi POV y'all. I'm all over that lovestruck dork. Next update Saturday, March 12th. Bokuto, Akaashi, Kuroo, and Tsukki make things interesting for Suga-bae. 
> 
> Find me on tumblr @jellyryans if you want. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!!!! See you next week!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suga comes to a crossroads - will he be tempted back into his old life or will he take a different path?

Suga entered the apartment and walked to the kitchen, still in a daze. His phone buzzed in his hand.

From: Sawamura Daichi  
Honestly? I’ve never been more excited for a Monday.

By this point, he was pretty sure that what he thought had happened, actually happened. He missed his stop on the bus, got off, ran into Daichi, had a blast volunteering at an incredible organization, and then got an interview at said incredible organization. They got coffee. They saw friends. Well, Daichi’s friends, but that was fine. They had only just met. “We only just met again,” Suga said aloud, like he needed to hear the words instead of just thinking them.

When he had woken up that morning, he had assumed that the day would be no different than the the last five Saturdays. He would get up, go out, get rejected, go home, wonder at his life decisions, cook dinner for Asahi, and then fall asleep on top of an empty notebook. He wondered what he had done in a past life to deserve such luck. He thought of Daichi and corrected himself. He wondered what he had done to deserve such a person.

Asahi wandered into the kitchen while Suga was distracted by his thoughts. 

“How’d it go today?”

Suga jumped and grabbed the edge of the counter as he took a deep breath. “Jesus, Asahi,” he said as he exhaled, “how long have you been there?”

“Ah, sorry. Not long at all. Don’t worry. You looked deep in thought and I didn’t want to disturb you. Are you okay? What happened?”

Once Suga caught his breath, he turned toward the cabinets and started to pull out ingredients for dinner. “I’m okay, I guess. I mean I DID get an interview.” He looked over his shoulder and smiled wide at Asahi before turning back to the cabinets.

Asahi tried to fight it, but tears welled up in his eyes. He never mentioned it to Suga, but he worried. He had been worried since the day he left, five years ago. 

“That’s, that’s wonderful Suga.” Asahi croaked. He wiped his eyes quickly, before Suga noticed. “When? Where?”

Suga spun on his heels and eyed Asahi carefully before turning back to the stovetop. “At the place where Daichi works. I ran into him and he invited me to volunteer. All of a sudden, I was scheduled for an interview on Monday morning. It’s nothing fancy, just front desk stuff, but it’s something!”

“Of course it’s something. How did you manage to run into each other? Noya said he saw you two at the cafe and I figured…”

Asahi heard Suga put the spatula down on the spoon rest. He didn’t turn around, but he paused to hear the rest of Asahi’s thought.

“Sorry! I don’t know, you guys were close last night and I thought you might’ve been out, together, on a date, or something.”

Suga moved to put lids on the pots that he prepared and turned to face Asahi with an expression that he couldn’t figure out. “He asked me to grab coffee after he finished working. He seemed so excited and I figured I owed him for getting me an interview.” He brought his palm to his forehead and leaned back against the counter next to the stove. “Was that a date?”

“Eh, I don’t think so. If he didn’t ask you on a date specifically, then you probably weren't.”

Suga lifted his head from his hand to look at Asahi before grabbing plates and silverware to set the table. 

Asahi shifted in his seat and listened to the clinking utensils. “You know, he asked about you after you left.”

“What do you mean?” Suga asked as he put forks on the table.

“I mean, he asked how you were doing, or if you went somewhere new or saw something cool. I used to show him the pictures you sent, but then you stopped sending pictures. I didn’t know what to say most of the time and, eventually, he stopped asking.” Asahi released a heavy breath. 

Suga sat down. The corners of his lips turned down and he rested his chin on clasped hands. He closed his eyes. “It’s so weird, Asahi. I feel comfortable around him, like we’ve known each other forever. He’s attractive, sure, but it’s more than that. It’s… it’s like love at first sight, except that it's ridiculous and not real. I don't know.”

Asahi cleared his throat. “Er, I’m not sure about the ‘love at first sight’ thing, but I do think that you can feel instantly connected to someone. You see this person and you have no idea what they mean to you, but you know you have to find out.”

“Speaking from experience?” Suga asked with his eyebrows raised high on his forehead.

Asahi blushed and looked down at the table. A certain smiling, tattooed barista definitely did not flash through his head. “I don’t know. I’m just trying to say that what you’re feeling is legitimate.”

The timer beeped and Asahi almost leapt out of his seat. Suga got up to turn the timer off and stir the pots again. He brought plates over, served them both, and sat down again.

He took a bite and thought about what Asahi said. “Okay, so I like him. I’m attracted to him. I want to spend time with him, whatever that means. He might feel the same way. But what happens when I tell him about how many dicks I’ve sucked for money?”

Asahi choked on his food and Suga looked at him apologetically. “Not everyone’s going to be a jerk about it, Suga,” he said quietly.

“I’m sorry for saying it like that, but things change when I tell people. Asahi, he’s just so good. My gut twists when I think of him looking at me the way people do when they know, like they can’t believe they fell for a whore. He might think I’m charming and perfect and wonderful, but,” Suga swallowed loudly, “they’re always disappointed.” 

Suga brought continued to stare at his plate. Asahi reached across the table to grab Suga’s forearm. “Hey, Suga, you’re not your job. And you decided not to do that anymore. I mean, tell him when you're ready, but you should give him a chance.”

They ate in silence for a couple minutes before Asahi couldn’t bear the weight of it and changed the subject the subject. “So, tell me about everything, how’d you end up all the way across town again?”

Suga looked up and smiled. He recounted the events of the day while they finished dinner. Asahi tried to help clean up after the meal, but Suga shooed out of the kitchen with a smile and a wink. When he was satisfied with the way the kitchen looked, Suga went to his bedroom and collapsed on the bed. 

 

Monday morning came and Suga stood outside of the huge warehouse. He ran through interview phrases in his head. ‘Thanks for having me!’ and ‘I don’t have much work experience, as you can see from my resume, but I have a lot of experience with people from all walks of life.’ Suga snorted. Something like that. His phone buzzed with a text message. 

From: Sawamura Daichi  
Just touched base with Kuroo. He’s looking forward to seeing you soon. Hopefully? Almost here?

Suga took a deep breath and entered the lobby, only to find Daichi standing in the empty space, phone in hand. He rushed over before Suga had a chance to step into the lobby.

“Suga! You made it!”

He smiled at Daichi’s earnest enthusiasm. It almost quieted the butterflies in his stomach. Almost. “I did indeed, on purpose this time.”

He laughed. “I’ll take you to Kuroo right away.”

Daichi opened the door for Suga and they both entered the quiet office. Suga scanned the room; it was an open space with rows of desks. Each desk had a little bit of personal swag, as if each desk was its own world.

In the back corner, Suga spotted a head of tousled black hair. “I haven’t seen Kuroo in five years and he’s still styling his hair the same way?”

Daichi put his finger to his lips. “Shh, don’t let him hear you say that. He doesn’t ‘style’ his hair, it’s natural bedhead.” Daichi rolled his eyes. Suga stifled a laugh as they walked to the back of the office. When they approached, Kuroo swung around in his chair to greet them. 

“Kuroo, Suga’s here and ready to go. Are you prepared for the interview or should I show him somewhere else?”

Kuroo smirked. “Why hello again, Suga. And, Daichi, I’m always ready. Since Bokuto hasn’t deigned to show up yet, we can talk here.”

Suga looked at Daichi questioningly. “Um, Bokuto has a loud personality.”

Kuroo nodded. “That’s a way of putting it. No one can concentrate when he’s bouncing around like a lunatic.”

“You love him.” 

There was a glint in Kuroo’s eyes. “I tolerate him. Now go do some work that’s not within twenty feet of us. Suga, care to sit?” Daichi patted Suga on the back and left the main office and Kuroo pointed to the empty chair next to him. Suga sat down. He was at someone’s desk, apparently, because there were about 75 tiny dinosaur figurines littering the space.

“Thanks so much for seeing me today. I hope I’m not putting anyone out?” Suga asked as he surveyed the toys. 

Kuroo looked over at the desk, and then looked back to his own. He tried to find the paper he was looking for and responded, “not at all, my assistant won’t be in for a little while. I gave him a little time to himself this morning,” Kuroo stopped what he was doing to put his hand over his heart, “because I’m just that nice.”

“You’re not his boss and you have no say in his schedule.” Suga looked over to where he heard the voice. It came from a man with wavy black hair and eyes that were somehow both sultry and void of emotion. He glared at Kuroo.

Kuroo muttered something under his breath and looked at Suga. “Anyway, Daichi said that you came in to volunteer this past weekend.”

“I did and I had a great time. The staff was nice and the volunteers ended up being awesome people. Seems like you get people from all walks of life.” Suga clenched his fist and cursed at himself for using his only catch phrase for something that wasn’t even a question.

“We see a little bit of everyone here, though volunteers are more homogenous than you think.”

Suga swallowed. He wasn’t being asked any questions, was he?

“Huh, interesting.” Suga considered asking Kuroo what he meant, but was interrupted. 

“Ah!” Kuroo exclaimed triumphantly as he pulled some papers from the bottom of the pile and handed them to Suga. “Here’s the paperwork you need to fill out before you begin your employment. Work will be hourly, 25 to 30 hours a week. Fourteen dollars an hour. Can you start tomorrow?”

Suga pinched his leg. “Oh! Yes, tomorrow definitely works. Thank you!”

Kuroo seemed pleased by Suga’s reaction and stood up, which Suga took as a sign that they were finished.

“You can see yourself out, though I’m sure Daichi is pacing just out of sight. See you tomorrow at 9am. We’ll go over your official schedule and start training.” 

They shook hands. Suga thanked him again and walked out. As Kuroo predicted, Daichi was pacing just outside the office door. He looked at the door and his eyes lit up. 

“How’d it go? Did it go well?”

Suga wondered that himself. “I start tomorrow morning, apparently.” 

Daichi closed his eyes and relaxed his shoulders almost like he was the one who had gotten the job. “That’s fantastic, Suga.”

“It is! Though I’m not really sure how, I mean, he didn’t ask me any of the standard interview questions, or any questions, really.”

Daichi just nodded. “Kuroo has good instincts and his own way of doing things.” He paused. It seemed to Suga like he had words on the tip of his tongue and he was debating whether or not to say them. “And, well, you’ve probably heard this before, but you have this calming presence that I think people pick up on right away, like if you’re there everything will be okay.”

“Don’t get sappy on me now,” Suga said with a laugh. He laughed it off, but Daichi’s words caused a ruckus in his head. There was a lot he needed to do before tomorrow. “I should go and let you get back to work.”

Daichi looked at his watch and sighed. “Yeah, I do have a meeting in ten minutes. Enough time to walk you to the bus, though.”

Suga nodded and was about to go through the doors when they burst open.

“Hey, hey, hey! Just the guy I wanted to see!”

Daichi grimaced. “Good morning, Bokuto.”

Suga watched Bokuto sling his arm around Daichi’s neck and laughed loudly. Bokuto was a good hand taller than Daichi and wore his muscle well. His hair was dark at the roots and white at the tips and styled into what looked like two points. He had wide, amber eyes and a smile that danced across his entire face. He didn’t seem to notice Suga at all, which was just as well.

Bokuto continued to laugh as he led Daichi back into the office. Suga knew he should’ve just left, but he let his curiosity get the better of him. He stood by the door as they approached the man who chastised Kuroo during his interview. The more Suga looked at the man, the more enraptured he became with his expression, like people were when they looked at the Mona Lisa.

“AKAASHI! Hey! Hey! Akaashi!” Bokuto said as he dragged Daichi further into the office.

Akaashi glanced at Bokuto out of the corner of his eye, held his gaze for a second, and reached for something. Suga couldn’t see Bokuto’s face, but, from what he just saw, it seemed like Akaashi knew exactly what Bokuto wanted.

“Good morning Bokuto-san. I assume you’ll be needing this?” 

Suga saw something purple and glittery in Akaashi’s hand. Bokuto let go of Daichi, put the purple thing over his neck, and turned so that Suga got a view. 

Bokuto stood smiling, hands on his hips, with a huge glittery dollar sign necklace around his neck. Suga was sure he had never seen someone roll their eyes as hard as Daichi did when Bokuto barked across the room. 

“Kuroo, hey hey!”

“Hey, hey, hey yourself. Is it time?” They locked eyes across the office. Kuroo smiled wide.

“Hell yeah!” Bokuto said as he slung off his jacket in Akaashi’s direction. He caught it without blinking.

Suga watched Kuroo rummage underneath his desk and pull out a large whiteboard. It was split in half with two names on top: Bokuto Koutarou and Sawamura Daichi. Underneath each name was a large number. 

Kuroo coughed, “Alright, you fiendishly handsome owl of a man, what am I adding?”

“Oh, just a cool 15,000,” he turned to Daichi, who visibly paled. Kuroo added Bokuto’s new number to what Suga assumed was a running total. Bokuto threw both hands in the air to celebrate. 

“I don’t ever remember agreeing to this competition. Bokuto’s corporate donors can give a lot more than my schools and mom groups,” Daichi mumbled. No one seemed to pay any attention to his self-defense, however, as they burst into cheers.

All of a sudden, Suga felt someone behind him. He turned around to see a young man, taller than even Bokuto and Kuroo, look down at him from over his glasses. 

“Tsukki, welcome to work.” Kuroo said from the door. When he got there, Suga didn’t know. “I see you’ve met our new receptionist.”

The blonde, Tsukki, nodded at Suga with a blank face and turned to Kuroo. “Quit it with the nickname,” he said as he slid past Suga. Kuroo looked at him with a goofy smile and his tongue partially out. They walked together toward the back of the office and Tsukki (Suga would have to get his full name later) sat down at the desk Suga sat at earlier.

Suga took one last look before he turned to leave. 

From the bus window, he watched the city scenery and, before he knew it, he was walking up the stairs to Asahi’s apartment. He had the place to himself all day, so he set up his supplies in the kitchen - laptop, notebook, writing utensils, phone, chargers. He considered setting up a fun way to tell Asahi he got the job while he browsed apartment listings on his laptop.

His phone buzzed with a text, so Suga tore himself away from the screen. It was a picture, a selfie with Daichi in the middle, half of Bokuto’s blurry, smiling face, and Kuroo in the background with his arms crossed over his chest and a cat-like grin. Suga looked closely at who he thought was Akaashi further in the background. He saved the picture and read the message.

From: Sawamura Daichi  
Sorry for not seeing you out properly! And sorry for your new and utterly ridiculous co-workers. When I told Bokuto he walked right past you, he made us take this picture to send you so that you knew he was excited to meet you. Get home okay? Any big plans before your first day tomorrow?

His phone buzzed again.

From: Sawamura Daichi  
Oh! How does Sunday afternoon sound for practice at my house? Maybe you could come early? Are you still okay with setting your writing to music?

His phone buzzed again, but this time it was a phone call from a number Suga didn’t recognize. He put the call on speakerphone so that he could continue to browse the internet.

“Sugawara speaking.”

_My, my how formal! I trust you remember my voice after ALL this time._

Suga rolled his eyes. “Yahaba, I wasn’t sure you had this number.”

_You can run, but you can’t hide! When you didn’t pick up your work number, I asked around for your personal one. I can be very persuasive, you know._

He cringed. Not many people knew his personal number; he made some friends in the sex industry, but it was hard not to see everyone else as competition. Yahaba had stolen more than a few of his clients and left Suga in the lurch, but he couldn’t get off the phone without making sure that everything was okay. Yahaba may have been a jerk, but that didn't mean he didn't deserve help if he needed it.

“I’m not in your line of business anymore. I believe you got the voicemail message? The one where I mentioned that I exited? What's going on?”

_People are always saying that. I can’t keep track anymore._

“What’s going on, Yahaba?” he repeated calmly.

_Well, now that you’re too far away for your clients to be worth my while, I wanted to help. Before you say anything, he comes highly recommended by people YOU might even trust, has a clean bill of health, insists on secrecy due to his CELEB status, and is willing to spend a fortune. He’s also handsome as hell. I would’ve fucked him and his best friend to high heaven if it weren’t for my, hm, let’s say vested, interest in one of their hunky associates._

Yahaba was fine, and he should've gotten off the phone, but Suga bit. “What’s the catch?” 

_No catch! He works with my person of interest and they’re headed your way in a few weeks. Before you ask, I was informed of your current whereabouts when I got your number. I have a way with people..._

Suga sighed. Yahaba was very good at getting what he wanted. “I’m not interested,” Suga replied.

_You should be. I think he would really benefit from someone as experienced and versatile as you._

The way he said ‘experienced’ and ‘versatile’ made Suga’s skin crawl. He heard a low growl on the other end of the line. Yahaba sternly chastised someone named Kentarou and Suga took the out.

“You sound busy. If that’s all you called about, I’m going to hang up.”

_Mhm. I’m about to go, but, seriously, let me know if you want his info._

“I’ll give it some thought.”

_And here I thought you weren’t interested, Sugawara. Talk soon!_

Yahaba hung up the phone before Suga could defend himself. He had a job, but the extra money wouldn’t hurt. He could take one client, just until he felt financially stable. He thought about the phone that sat at the bottom of his travel bag, his ‘work’ phone.

When he reached for his personal phone to make a note of Yahaba’s number, he stopped to look at the picture that was still up on the screen. 

Suga took in all of the details of Daichi’s face. His tan skin, his light freckles, the corded muscle of his neck, his inviting brown eyes. Suga thought of his nervous laugh, the glare he reserved only for Noya and Tanaka, and how he stared at him when he thought he wouldn’t notice. 

He looked at Bokuto, at Kuroo, at Akaashi, at the office where he would start the next day. He thought about being in a band with Daichi, Asahi, Noya, and Tanaka. 

“I think I’m good,” Suga said to empty kitchen and, instead of opening up a new note, he opened a new text message.

To: Sawamura Daichi  
Tell him not to worry about it. You, on the other hand, might need to worry if you’re going to get more donations than Bokuto. Get back to work!

To: Sawamura Daichi  
PS - I’m free all the time. Sunday is perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU for reading, commenting, subscribing, and leaving kudos. They all mean the world to me. 
> 
> Next update will include more music, more Suga/Daichi, and more Noya/Tanaka/Asahi. Our favorite grumpy blueberry and tiny ball of sunshine will enter the story in chapter six. So close to the kagehina. So close. 
> 
> Timing is a little up in the air, but I hope to have chapter five out next weekend, before next Monday.
> 
> Find me on tumblr @jellyryans


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suga tries to quell his self-doubt in order to move forward with Daichi, but things don't always go as planned.

Suga’s first week at work was a blur. 

After the initial greetings, he had been set to work with everyone over the course of the week so that he could learn what everyone in the office did and how the mechanics of the organization worked. It hadn’t taken Suga long to notice that everyone was overworked, so he had made it his personal mission to figure out what each person needed in order to make their lives easier.

He had learned that it was relatively easy to get a rise out of Kuroo, which made it difficult for him to deal with the more snarky vendors and support providers. Suga had volunteered to handle those relationships. 

Yachi was an excellent coordinator who always worked hard to make sure they had enough volunteers to go through donations, but she was shy and easily overwhelmed by large groups of people. Suga had volunteered to talk to the larger groups of people, and, when he was there, he would keep an eye on her, just to make sure she had the support she needed. 

Ennoshita got overwhelmed with Daichi’s emails, donation paperwork, and voice messages, but had never told Daichi for fear of worrying him. Suga had volunteered to help where he could, whether it meant data entry or taking down messages. 

Tsukishima, who preferred his full name, was the hardest to read, but, eventually, Suga had figured out how he could help. Tsukishima didn’t have a personal number at his desk, just the office number, and Suga had caught him ignoring calls on multiple occasions. By the end of the week, Suga had figured out how to hook two lines up to his phone at reception and screen the calls coming into the office. When Tsukishima had figured out Suga’s scheme, he went out of his way to thank him, which had left the office speechless. Suga counted it as a victory.

Akaashi and Bokuto were their own perfectly functioning island. In fact, Akaashi had been taken aback when Suga had offered his help. He had been a little hurt at first, but, after observing them, he understood. Akaashi knew Bokuto’s weaknesses and strengths better than the back of his hands and Bokuto was surprisingly good at his job. The whiteboard had come out a number of times that week as Bokuto had pulled in more and more money. 

Akaashi and Bokuto had also shown Suga the importance of knocking on closed doors. Halfway through the week, Suga had opened the door to the supply closet and was met with the back of Bokuto’s head and a piercing green eye, the other obscured by Bokuto’s two-toned hair. Bokuto turned and asked earnestly if Suga needed anything, like he hadn’t just been caught making out in a closet. Akaashi had just raised his eyebrows and politely asked him to knock next time. When neither Akaashi nor Bokuto moved from their compromising positions, Suga had just closed the door and walked away, without the printer paper he needed. Lesson learned.

And then there was Daichi. As the week wore on, he had spent increasingly long breaks at Suga’s desk and Suga had to admonish him constantly for wasting time. Suga had felt a little bad for giving him a hard time, but, by the end of the week, he had fallen into the role naturally. 

It had been a great week, but, by Saturday, Suga was exhausted. He sat in a nest of blankets on Asahi’s couch and cupped a mug of green tea. The owner of the apartment was not there; Suga received a mysterious text about him having breakfast with someone, followed by an apologetic message to let Suga know that he was okay and that he would be back that evening. Suga wanted to pry, oh goodness, did he want to, but he held back. For the time being. Asahi would open up when the time was right.

Suga sat in front a pile of his old notebooks and spread some across the couch and coffee table with the idea that he would write for a little while before shopping for food, doing laundry, and catching up on errands. He had no idea where to start, but figured it wouldn’t hurt to go over and possibly rewrite some of his older stuff.

As he read, he wondered what he would be able to bring to their “band practice” the next day. He didn’t know anything about music except that he loved it, and he certainly knew nothing about writing lyrics for songs. He did the tiniest bit research the night before, but it didn’t do much to assuage his self doubt. At the very least, he had volunteered to cook food for everyone, so he took a little comfort in that he would be able to provide sustenance for the group, if not any artistic or creative talent. 

Suga took a big sip of his tea and stared down at a couple lines he had written years ago, after one of his many failed relationship attempts. He read the words aloud. 

    Well, see what you want to see. You should see it all.  
    Well, take what you want from me. You deserve it all.  
    Nine times out of ten, our hearts just get dissolved.  
    Well, I want a better place, or just a better way to fall.

The past five years hadn’t been all bad, but they hadn’t been all good, either. The last time he told a potential love interest that he was a sex worker, the guy thought it meant free, kinky sex anytime, anywhere. Suga scrunched up his face and shook his head to rid himself of the memory. The guy before that looked at him like he was dirt on a freshly-washed floor. He read the final couplet. 

    But one time out of ten, everything is perfect for us all.  
    Well, I want a better place, or just a better way to fall. 

Suga’s own relationships might have failed spectacularly, but not everyone had his bad luck. He grabbed his phone and called the only “one time out of ten” person he knew. When the call went through, Suga put the phone on speaker and snuggled back into his blankets. 

_“Hello? Suga?”_

“Hi Yaku. Do you have a minute? Sorry for not calling sooner, I know it’s been awhile...” 

_“Suga my sweet! It’s totally fine! How are things? How are you? Are you okay?”_

He let the sing-song cadence of Yaku’s voice wash over him. Asahi sometimes joked that Suga was a mom-friend. If that was the case, Yaku was the mom-friend multiplied by three. “I’m okay, just trying to settle into life back here. I’m staying with Asahi until I get my own place. And I got a job! Like, a resume job. I started this past Tuesday. How’re you?

Suga heard Yaku sigh on the other end of the line. 

“ _Oh, same ol’ same ol’ on my end. Enough about me, though. I’m so glad you found something. Whoever hired you must’ve seen how much of a treasure you are. What’re you doing?”_

He buried his face into his blankets to hide his blush. “Uh, it’s not super exciting, but it’s something. I’m a receptionist at this non-profit that takes donations for kids. The organization is awesome and my coworkers are good people.” Suga paused. “Actually, Yaku, I called because I need some advice.”

_Cool! They’re lucky to have you. Advice? I’ll try to help the best I can..._

Suga looked at the blanket that he held in his hands. “I wanted to ask about you and Lev. How do you make it work?”

Yaku answered immediately. _“Honest and open communication, Suga. That’s huge. Lev and I talk about everything, even if it seems trivial, or redundant, or stupid.”_

He mulled over Yaku’s response. It was something that he had heard a million times before but it never seemed to register completely. “That makes sense, but how’d he take it when you told him you were a sex worker? That you weren’t planning on giving up your clients? Weren’t you scared that you’d lose him?”

 _“I was terrified to tell him. Oh my gosh. I had nightmares about it for weeks. But, when I sucked it up, sat him down, and told him, he was surprised more than anything, I think. It was totally new territory for him. He’s also a younger than me, so maybe he’s just more accepting? Young people these days.”_ Yaku laughed after his last comment.

Suga hummed and, before he could respond, Yaku started to talk again.

_“Why d’you ask?”_

“I think I met someone. Well, I met him ages ago but we reconnected a couple weeks ago.” Suga bit his lip. “He’s perfect, Yaku, and I” Suga’s voice cracked, “and I’m not ready to lose him.”

_“My darling, I highly doubt he’s perfect. No one is. If you’re really serious about getting to know him, you have to tell him. Sooner rather than later. You know that. If he’s a jerk about it, he’s not worth your time.”_

“He might be too good for me,” Suga whispered into the blankets. 

_“I couldn’t hear you just now, but I KNOW you didn’t put yourself down. Don't make me travel down there and kick your ass!”_

Suga smiled in spite of himself. Yaku was one of the few people he kept in touch with over the years for precisely that reason; he took shit from nobody. “Wouldn’t dream of it! Hey, one more question. Does Lev get jealous? I mean, he couldn’t have been keen on the whole situation.”

It took a couple of seconds for Yaku to answer. _“Yeah, he does, and some days are easier than others, but we talk it out and he gets it. We have ways of making sure that our sex life is special. It’s funny. I think I get jealous more than he does. He’s a very handsome guy. And tall. Very tall. Sticks out like a sore thumb.”_

Suga laughed. He could almost hear Yaku smile on other side of the line. “That makes sense. I guess I’ve just never really had an actual, functioning, adult relationship.”

_“Which I always find incredibly hard to believe. Are you still writing?”_

“I am! Interestingly enough, I think I might be writing songs for a band?” Suga looked down at his notebooks and let his nerves take control. It was the first time he said it aloud to someone that wasn't in the newly-minted band.

_“Holy crap! That’s awesome! How’d you get into that?”_

Before Suga could answer, he heard a yelp and a crash on Yaku’s end. 

_“Oh boy. Lev’s up. I’m sorry to do this to you, but we planned to stay in this morning and make pancakes. Lev is trying to get dishes out of the cabinet and can’t seem to use his hands for anything other than destroying my kitchen. Typical.”_

Suga heard a disgruntled “hey” from Lev and a choice words from Yaku. “Donn't let me keep you from pancakes! And thank you, Yaku.”

_“Sure thing. Anytime, honestly. I miss you. You’re wonderful. Don’t forget it. And don’t forget to call me again soon so that you can tell me EVERYTHING, especially about your band! I’m still so excited for you!”_

Suga nodded even though no one could see him. “Of course! Say ‘hi’ to Lev for me. Bye!”

Yaku hung up the phone after saying his goodbyes and and Suga took a deep, fortifying breath. Both Yaku’s and Asahi’s words from the week before rang in his mind. He would tell Daichi tomorrow, before the rest of the guys showed up, just in case things went poorly and he had to leave. He ran his hands through his hair, grabbed a pencil, and went back to work. 

 

Sunday morning rolled around and Suga was on the bus to Daichi’s house. While his last bus mistake led him straight to Daichi, he worried that he wouldn’t be so lucky the next time. He shifted the paper grocery bag in his lap and watched the city pass by through the bus window. 

Everything was different. He was back in a place he knew intimately, but it didn’t feel that way. The old neighborhoods had evolved and new ones had sprung up, old businesses closed and new ones opened. His parents had since retired and moved out of town. He didn’t keep in touch with anyone from high school, or from his three years at the local university. It was a strange feeling, that he was technically 'back' but had nothing to stand on, no foundation on which to rely. 

Suga put on the headphones that hung around his neck and turned his music to shuffle for a break from his thoughts. The first song to come on was one of his new favorites, a song by The Court that he had heard for the first time while looking into Daichi’s eyes. 

The first few notes reminded him of wind chimes on a summer night and there was a calm, spacey quality to The Court’s songs that Suga liked. A few beats of the drums welcomed Oikawa’s voice. 

    I was waiting for a cross-town train in the London underground when it struck me  
    That I've been waiting since birth to find a love that would look and sound like a movie.  
    So, I changed my plans, I rented a camera and a van, and then I called you.  
    “I need you to pretend that we are in love again" and you agreed to.

Suga continued to stare out the window as he processed Oikawa’s words. This particular song started out rather light-hearted, as if Oikawa were a kid possessed by some crazy, impulsive idea that he had to play out.

    I want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real,"  
    And I want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd.

With the chorus, the song took a more serious turn. The music was peppy and the beat was fast, but there was a significant contrast between the music and lyrics. At first, Suga thought the words suggested hope, but, the more he listened to it, the more he felt like the hope masked something darker, something sadder.

    I greased the lens and framed the shot using a friend as my stand-in.  
    The script, it called for rain but it was clear that day so we faked it.  
    The marker snapped and I yelled "quiet on the set" and then called "Action!"  
    And I kissed you in a style that Clark Gable would have admired (I thought it classic).

The scene was sweet, dramatic, and a little comedic; none of it was real and it broke Suga’s heart. 

    I want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real,"  
    And I want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd.

Ah, the chorus again. The last words of each verse tapered off, betraying a lack of certainty. It sounded to Suga that even though the singer was singing about the search, he had already given up.

    I know you're wise beyond your years, but do you ever get the fear  
    That your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?

Suga pondered the last lines. To whom was Oikawa talking? Himself? He spent the rest of the ride wondering if the lyrics were a simple narrative or whether it was something a little closer to Oikawa’s heart. 

Suga got off the bus at the right stop (he double and triple checked), and walked to the address that Daichi told him. He shifted a ripped paper bag in his arms as he looked at the house in front of him. Home. It was a home. He wasn’t able to describe the feeling, but all of the emptiness he felt at the beginning of the bus ride faded away.

The house itself was small, but it was happily situated on a nice-sized lot and surrounded by trees. Two large windows flanked a portico that welcomed guests to the front door. The house was olive green with dark wood accents. Suga took the pathway to the door and raised his hand to the door.

Daichi answered the door right before Suga knocked, which startled him so badly that he flailed his arms, ripped the paper bag in half, and tipped all of the contents onto the porch.

“Ah! Suga! Hey! I’m so sorry!” Daichi yelped and bent down to pick up the groceries. 

When the groceries were gathered, Suga laughed. “Guess I know how to make an entrance, huh?” 

“Guess so,” Daichi said with a big grin and beckoned Suga inside. 

They set the groceries in kitchen and Daichi gave Suga a quick tour. The basement was set up with a drum kit, amps, and guitars on stands. Since Daichi was on a hill, the basement had a big glass door that opened up onto a concrete porch and an unkempt backyard. Suga hugged his arms close to his body. He imagined setting up dinner for his friends at the empty patio table. He imagined their laughter. He imagined grabbing Daichi’s hand under the table and making him blush.

Back inside, Daichi showed him his guitars before they returned to the main floor. After a bit of needling on Suga’s part, Daichi showed him his room. Suga brought his hands to his mouth to cover his laughter; it looked like a teenager lived there. Band posters littered the walls, clothes were all over the floor, and his bedside table looked like a stack of paper had exploded there ten years ago. Suga wanted to go through every paper, every ticket, and every photo. He wanted to find yearbooks, class pictures, notes in the books Daichi had strewn about the surfaces in the room. He wanted to know everything. Eventually, Daichi physically pushed Suga out of his room and they made their way to the kitchen. 

Suga brought snacks as well as ingredients for dinner, a hearty Italian lasagna-type casserole that would fill everyone up. He tasked Daichi with cutting vegetables into bite-sized pieces for snacks while he started on the main course. They worked in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Suga’s curiosity got the better of him.

“Oikawa writes his own songs, right?”

Daichi nodded. “Yeah. When the band first formed, I don’t think Oikawa stopped writing, not even to sleep.” His brow furrowed. “Why? What made you think of it?

“I was listening to The Court on the way over here. His lyrics are really good and it made me wonder how many of his songs are him and how many are just, I guess just a narrative device.” Suga listened to Daichi chop vegetables next to him. Had Oikawa been in love? Had his heart been broken? “You’ve known him awhile… Do you know much about his love life?” Suga asked.

Daichi brought the knife down on the cutting board and looked over. “I have, but we’re not super close. I only know bits and pieces from a long time ago. Why do you ask?” 

Suga shrugged. “Honestly? He writes about love like a deeply sad person who wears a smile like a mask, so I was curious.”

“Ah,” Daichi let out the breath he was holding. “From what I know, Oikawa’s relationships have been complicated. Well, the one relationship was complicated. He and Iwaizumi have been friends forever, and everyone’s sort of always known it was more than friendship on Oikawa’s part. They got very close to getting together and then, well, nothing happened. It was weird. Nothing seemed to change though. He’s had girlfriends since then and seems to be doing alright.”

Suga hummed. That answered his question. One doesn’t fall in love with their best friend, have nothing happen, and come away unscathed. The sadness must’ve been real. He has probably been wearing that mask so long that it had become a part of him. 

“Is something wrong?” Daichi asked.

There would be a time to talk more in depth about other people’s relationship troubles, but this wasn’t that moment. “You wouldn’t understand. It’s really just songwriter stuff,” Suga said with an exaggeratedly haughty voice. 

“Fair enough,” Daichi said with a deep chuckle. 

Suga looked at him and ran through the lines he prepared for himself. He was going to have to learn to be vulnerable, to trust Daichi, if he wanted to move forward. “I really don’t know anything about songwriting, Daichi.”

Daichi continued chopping. “Me neither. But we’ll figure it out together,” He looked over at Suga and caught his gaze. “I’m game if you are?”

“Together?” Suga searched for the lie in Daichi’s eyes and found none. “Then I’m game,” he said with a decisive nod.

Their conversation lightened up as they focused on their respective tasks. Daichi finished chopping the vegetables, put them on a large plate, and helped Suga layer the sauce and cheese. Daichi sprinkled cheese over the last layer of noodles, covered the dish in plastic wrap, and put it in the fridge while Suga washed the dishes. It was comfortable, like they had been doing this forever. 

Finally, they were finished. Suga glanced at the clock; Asahi, Noya, and Tanaka would be arriving in another hour or so. Suga looked at Daichi, who was staring at him, and looked down at the floor. He heard Daichi walk toward him and felt a calloused hand lift his chin. Once they were looking at each other, with Suga’s head tilted slightly back, Daichi used his other hand to brush a stray strand of silver hand behind Suga’s ear. 

Suga leaned into Daichi and put his arms around his neck. Daichi put his hands on the counter behind Suga, on either side of his hips. They leaned in to let their foreheads touch. Suga felt the soft hair at the nape of Daichi’s neck and the puff of breath that landed on his neck. He took in every single detail, the warmth that radiated off Daichi’s chest, his racing heart, the stubble on his cheek, the way one of Daichi’s hands moved from the counter to Suga’s side, right below his ribcage. 

“Hey,” Suga chirped. 

“Hey,” Daichi said softly. Suga felt the muscles of Daichi’s face move into a smile. 

Suga put a hand to Daichi’s chest and pushed him far enough away so that he could see his face. 

“I need to tell you something,” Suga said in a low voice. He had the feeling that if he raised his voice, he would ruin the gentle intimacy of the moment.

Daichi watched Suga’s lips as he spoke and took in the rest of Suga’s face before he met Suga’s eyes with an eyebrow cocked in confusion. “Okay…”

Breathe in. Breathe out. He brought his hands to Daichi’s biceps to steady himself. “It’s just, after I left school, I - “

Suga was cut off by Daichi’s phone buzzing on the counter. They both glanced at the contact.

“Oh, it’s Tanaka. You should get it.”

Daichi looked at Suga like he didn’t understand the words. “I’ll call him back in a minute. This is important, Suga, what - “

The phone stopped buzzing, only to start again. Tanaka was calling a second time. Suga started to worry. 

“Seriously, Daichi, it’s fine. Pick it up.” 

Daichi nodded ‘no’ and pulled Suga closer. He sighed, grabbed Daichi’s phone, picked up the call, and pressed the phone to Daichi’s ear. He laughed at the betrayed look Daichi shot him before answering. 

“What could you possibly want? I’ll see you in an hour… I’m sorry, run that by me again?”

Daichi’s whole body tensed and the color drained from his face. Suga’s worry blossomed into panic.

“Yep. Okay. Shut up. I’m coming over. Call 911 NOW and get OUT…. Text me when you’re all out of the apartment.” Daichi hung up the phone, closed his eyes, and put the phone to his forehead. 

“What? What’s happening?” Suga tightened his grip on Daichi’s arms.

Daichi grimaced. “Apparently, Noya and Tanaka’s apartment is on fire. Asahi is there. I have to go over,” he pulled away. “I’m so sorry, Suga, you’re welcome to stay here, or if you want to take the bus home - “

Suga listened with wide eyes until he couldn’t stay quiet anymore and interrupted Daichi’s rambling. “Let’s go NOW, then.”

Before Daichi could respond, Suga had pushed him to the door and thrown his shoes at him. “We’re in this together, right?”

Daichi’s eyes lit up for a second before becoming serious again. “Right. Together.”

They grabbed their coats and ran to Daichi’s truck without another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the kudos, subscriptions, bookmarks, and COMMENTS. They make my life a happy place. 
> 
> Two songs in this chapter, sort of. Suga's lyrics came from Bukowski by Modest Mouse, which is one of my personal favorites on one of my favorite albums of all time (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xr_B2IOUYSw). The Court's song is Clark Gable by The Postal Service (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTcu5_WGtrk). 
> 
> My schedule shifted a bit, so I think updates will be coming on Tuesdays, give or take a day. Next week, chapter five! It's almost Tobio time!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's their first gig, but it's a small town and familiar faces emerge to shake things up.

“Thank you for helping me set up today.” 

“It was my pleasure, Kiyoko, and thank you for the drink. It’s beautiful, as always,” Suga said as he admired the design in the foam of his drink. “Just let me know if you need anything else before it starts.”

Kiyoko nodded and walked back to the espresso bar inside the café, which left Suga to enjoy his coffee on the outdoor patio behind the building. More and more guests came out of the cafe and the tables around him filled up quickly. His phone buzzed with a text, so he glanced at the screen. 

From: Daichi  
Just wrangled everyone into the truck with their equipment. Should be there just before 7. Set up go okay? Excited?

To: Daichi  
Everything’s ready, so get here when you can. I signed us up to go on pretty early. 

To: Daichi  
So excited. You guys are gonna be amazing. Assuming you get here on time :P

Suga smiled into his coffee and tried to calm the nervous fluttering in his stomach. The Bird’s Nest Café had become sort of a second home to Suga since he moved out of Asahi’s apartment and into his own right down the street. Noya and Tanaka still worked there, so he got to spend more time with them. Also, because of their antics, he had gotten to know their manager, Kiyoko, and they got along well. Something about being around Noya and Tanaka all the time did that to people. 

By 6:45 in the evening, almost all of the tables had filled up. Suga kept a calm façade, but his stomach still flipped inside of him. It was the first time they were playing in front of a crowd. It was the first time people outside the band would be hearing his lyrics. 

He heard quick, light footsteps across the patio and he looked up at the incoming ball of energy.

“Suga!” Hinata yelled. 

The area set up to be the stage was right alongside the building, so that they could use the hookups for electric instruments, and the tables were spread out around it. Hinata barreled through the tables and Suga saw that Yachi followed him at a slower, more deliberate pace. When they arrived at Suga’s table, Hinata plopped down on one side of him and Yachi on the other.

“Hey you two! I’m so glad you could make it!” Suga said. He patted Yachi on the shoulder and she smiled and nodded nervously. He turned to Hinata. “No Kenma tonight?” 

Hinata shrugged. “Nah, Kenma was already too comfortable on the couch. He said that Kuroo might go over later to keep him company, so I didn’t feel too bad leaving him.”

Hinata had just transferred to the local university to finish his last year and had been staying with Kenma. Through Kenma, Hinata met Kuroo, and, through Kuroo, Hinata met Suga, Daichi, and Yachi. Hinata broke through everyone’s walls very quickly, so it hadn’t been long before they were fast friends. He had even come to Daichi’s for a couple parties, where he had become friends with Asahi, Noya, and Tanaka. They were a rowdy bunch, but Suga loved all of it.

“Fair enough. Hopefully they’ll all be able to come to the next one,” Suga mused. 

“We can tell them how great everyone was and then they’ll come!” Yachi yelped. 

“Yeah! I’m really pumped for tonight, but I already can’t wait for the next one!” Hinata bounced in his seat.

Suga took a sip of his drink and caught Yachi eyeing his mug. She cleared her throat. “I, um, when does it start again? Do I have time to get a drink?”

“Oh, definitely. The music won’t start for another ten minutes,” Suga assured and shooed her in the direction of the bar.

When Yachi left, Hinata put his head down on the table. “I wish I could be in a band.”

“Really? Why?”

Hinata sat up in his chair and waved his arms. “I can sing! I busk in university courtyard after classes. And I write my own songs sometimes!” Hinata shouted. 

Suga was genuinely surprised. “Hinata, I had no idea! You should join us next for practice next weekend! I’d love to hear you!”

Hinata’s jaw practically hit the table, and Suga was just about to reach over to ruffle his hair when he heard two very loud and very familiar voices yell for Kiyoko, followed by the sound of someone hitting them both on the back of the head. The cavalry had arrived. 

Suga looked toward the door and made eye contact with Asahi. Asahi grabbed Daichi’s shoulder and pointed to Suga’s table. 

Hinata waved enthusiastically and almost knocked their table over in the process. Daichi pointed Asahi, Noya, and Tanaka to the side of the performance area, gave them a couple instructions, and came over to stand by Suga’s chair.  
“Hey!” Daichi smiled directly at Suga and it shot right through his heart like an arrow.

“Hey yourself,” Suga stuck out his tongue. Daichi let out a small giggle. It was one of Suga’s favorite laughs.

“And hey Hinata! Thanks for coming out tonight!”

“Daichi! Thanks for inviting me! Suga said I could join your band!” Hinata screamed across the table. The other patrons in the coffee shop looked over with varied degrees of amusement. 

“Did he now?” Daichi put his hand on Suga’s shoulder and he leaned into the touch. “Maybe you should hear us play first.”

“That’s what I’m doing!” Hinata pointed to the stage area in front of them.

“Yachi’s here too, but she’s at the bar getting a drink,” Suga added.

Daichi hummed. “I saw her in the cafe, but she wasn’t in line for a drink. She was just staring behind the espresso bar. I tried calling her name, but it was like she was in a trance or something.”

Suga got up to look through the window into the cafe. Sure enough, Yachi was standing there, completely red-faced. He followed her line of sight to Kiyoko delicately pouring milk into a coffee drink. 

“Oops. I sort of forgot that this would be her first time meeting Kiyoko,” he said aloud.

The puzzle pieces clicked in Daichi’s mind. “That explains a lot. Maybe one of us should check on her?”

Suga shrugged and peeked into the window again. Kiyoko had caught Yachi staring and beckoned her over to the counter. Yachi approached slowly. Suga sat back down when he saw Kiyoko smile sweetly at the petite blonde.

“They’ll be just fine,” he said as he looked up at Daichi from his seat. He poked him in the side. “Will YOU guys be fine? It’s your first time in front of a live audience, after all.”

“It’s your first time?!” Hinata asked.

“It is! This past winter was pretty busy for us at work and we wanted to wait until it was warmer so that we could play outside here with the electric guitar and fuller drum kit,” Suga paused, “and, well, we had other setbacks.” 

“Yeah,” Daichi rubbed the back of his neck as he recalled the last six months, “it was hard to practice for awhile there because Noya sprained his wrist.” He looked over his shoulder to where Noya was tuning their instruments and Tanaka was gleefully slapping a shaking Asahi on the back. 

“Noya hurt himself? When? What’d he do? Is he okay now?!” Hinata yelped with horror. 

Suga put his hands out to steady the table and glanced over toward the side of the stage. “He hurt himself doing exactly that,” Suga said calmly as he directed Daichi’s eyes to where Tanaka was lifting Noya over his head.

“I can’t get one freaking minute of rest,” Daichi grumbled to himself. He smiled weakly at Suga before he turned to chaperone the rest of his band.

Suga yelled after him. “Tell them that if they don’t behave there’ll be no food next week!¨

Daichi nodded over his shoulder and walked over to the area beside the stage where musicians were tuning their instruments. Suga saw Daichi talking to Noya and Tanaka, who stood a little straighter after Daichi issued Suga’s warning. Asahi looked downright panicked and Daichi laughed. 

Suddenly, the crowd hushed and a girl took her place at the microphone with an acoustic guitar slung over her shoulder. Suga checked the time on his phone; it was exactly 7 o’clock.

The girl at the mic took a breath and started to sing. Hinata sucked in a sharp breath and watched with such intensity that Suga thought he would combust. He watched Hinata’s leg bounce in time with the song and noticed that he caught on to the lyrics so quickly that he was singing along. 

When the song was over, Hinata gushed. “She was so cool! The singer sung her notes like GWAH! And she was so good at the guitar! This is amazing!”

The next few acts elicited the same reaction from Hinata. Finally, when Daichi, Noya, Tanaka, and Asahi went up to the mics, Hinata was vibrating. Suga would’ve been lying if he said he didn’t feel the same way. Suga grabbed Hinata's hand with the pretense of calming the other man down. 

Asahi adjusted the microphone to his height and, instead of speaking into it, he motioned for Daichi to come forward. He got up from his seat and introduced the band. 

“Hey everyone. We’re Take to the Skies and this is our first time performing in front of an audience,” Daichi said. Suga put a hand over his mouth to try to hide how big his smile was while the crowd applauded. He was so damn proud.

“Before we start, I’d like to thank Kiyoko and the Bird’s Nest Café for having this event,” the audience applauded again. Suga saw Kiyoko at the door to the patio. The faintest blush spread across her cheeks. She looked to the side, right where Yachi was standing next to her. Yachi rewarded her with a smile of her own.

“Second, I want to thank my, well,” Daichi paused as he searched for the word, “co-captain.” Suga took his eyes off Kiyoko and Yachi only to find Daichi looking straight at him. “He not only writes our lyrics, but keeps us well-fed and out of trouble. Can everyone give Sugawara Koushi a round of applause?”

Hinata looked at him with stars in his eyes. Suga felt like he was going to throw up. He waved his hands in front of him to indicate that he should, in no way, shape, or form, take credit for how amazing everyone would think they were. 

“Drop the modest act!” Tanaka yelled out from behind the drums. There were a few good-natured laughs from the crowd. Suga buried his face in his hands. 

Daichi cleared his throat, “Alright! I’m going to hand the mic to Asahi now, so, uh, enjoy!” Daichi moved back to his original position and let Asahi stand in front of the mic. Suga had seen them play hundreds of times, but he still hadn’t gotten used to seeing Daichi stand with his guitar, foot on a pedal, ready to play. There were some things, he found, that no amount of preparation would help him handle with dignity.

Tanaka counted off and Asahi sung into the microphone. 

     Mmm buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh-duh-dah  
     Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh-duh-dah

     We’re all goin’, we’re all goin’

Suga recognized the feeling in his stomach; it was was the same feeling you had when you were on a roller coaster, at the top of the biggest climb, right about to plummet to the ground. 

     Well, the lampshade’s on fire when the lights go out  
     The room lit up and we ran about  
     Well, this is what I really call a party now  
     Packed up our cars, moved to the next town

Asahi’s voice was perfect. It was low and slightly unpolished, but versatile and sharp. When Suga had first heard Asahi sing in the context of band practice, he didn’t think he had ever been so shocked in his life. Asahi’s voice matched his physical appearance, strong and a little dangerous. 

     Well, the lampshade’s on fire when the lights go out  
     This is really what I call a party now  
     Well, fear makes us really, really want to run around  
     This one’s done so where to now?

“Did that really happen?” Hinata mouthed across the table. Suga nodded ‘yes.’ He recited the lyrics in his head. It had only been a week or so since Suga had joined their circle of friends, right after his first week of work, and right before their first practice. Suga almost felt Daichi against his body as he remembered the phone call that brought the wall down between them. 

     Our eyes light up, we have no shame at all  
     Well you all know what I’m talking about  
     Shaved off my eyebrows when I fall to the ground  
     So I can’t look surprised right now

When Suga and Daichi had arrived at the house, Noya, Tanaka, and Asahi were outside watching the firefighters inspect the house. Noya’s eyes sparkled, Tanaka had been running around, and Asahi had been in complete and utter shock. Luckily for them, the firefighters had gotten there in time to minimize damage. Unluckily for everyone, Noya and Tanaka were kicked out of their house, so they packed up what they could and moved into Daichi’s spare room.

     Pack up again, head to the next place  
     Where we’ll make the same mistakes  
     Burn it up, or just chop it down  
     Ah, this one’s done, so where to now?

This hadn’t been the first time Noya and Tanaka had been kicked out of their living situation, and Daichi had found himself with his hands full. Living with the two of them turned out to be another full-time job, on top on his actual full-time job. Winter was the busiest time at work, too, so Suga and Daichi never really had another moment alone.

     Mmm buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh-duh-dah  
     Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh-duh-dah

     We’re all goin’, we’re all goin’

Suga watched them all sing together, perfectly in time, perfectly in tune. He ignored the empty feeling that tried to crawl its way out of the depths of his heart and focused on Daichi’s face, his closed eyes, the way his fingers held the chords on the neck of the guitar, the way his muscles flexed as he strummed. Suga had realized it months ago; he was in love with the guy. 

     Well, the lampshade’s on fire when the lights go out  
     This is really what I call a party now  
     Well, fear makes us really, really want to run around  
     This one’s done so where to now?

Daichi opened his eyes when Asahi picked up the next verse and looked at Suga with a smile that danced across his face and bounced in time with the music. Suga supposed that he could have tried harder to create a moment between them, but he didn’t want to push his luck. This would have to be enough, he told himself. And he believed it. Over and over again.

     Our eyes light up, we have no shame at all  
     Well, you all know what I’m talking about  
     The room lights up, well, we’re still dancing around  
     We’re havin’ fun, havin’ some for now

Suga tore his eyes away from Daichi and scanned the crowd. Each member of the group next to them was tapping along to the song. Hinata was practically falling off the edge of his chair. Everyone loved them.

     Pack up again, head to the next place  
     Where we’ll make the same mistakes  
     Open one up and let it fall to the ground  
     Pile out the door when it all runs out

There was a little more to the song, but Daichi made the decision to cut it short in order to make sure that other acts got their chance at the microphone. 

     Mmm buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh-duh-dah  
     Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh-duh-dah

Everyone sung the last verse and ended on the same note. Tanaka threw his drumsticks on the ground, Noya jumped in the air with his bass still around his neck, Asahi let out a breath as his shoulders slumped, and Daichi put his palm over his strings to stop the sound. He looked at Suga with wide eyes, like he didn’t realize how amazing they had been and was looking to Suga for approval. 

Suga threw caution to the wind, pushed his chair out of the way, and ran through the applauding audience. Tears ran down his face. When he got up to the stage, he threw his arms around Asahi and Daichi and pulled them into a tight hug. Noya and Tanaka came over, so Asahi wrapped his arm around Noya and Daichi rubbed Tanaka’s head. 

Asahi broke free, whispered a “thank you” into the mic, and they moved out of the stage area. Suga still had his arm around Daichi’s neck and Daichi let his arm rest around Suga’s waist. 

“Did we do okay?” Daichi whispered in Suga’s ear. 

Suga wiped his eyes with the hand that wasn’t holding Daichi close and pulled him into another hug. “How can you even ask me that?” 

He didn’t notice the way Daichi closed his eyes and let out a small breath as his hands gripped the back of Suga’s shirt. He didn’t notice Daichi smile as he held Suga in his arms. Meanwhile, Hinata jumped around the group.

“Suga wrote that? There was a real fire? The guitar was so amazing! Asahi’s voice is the BEST! And Noya on the bass! And Tanaka on the drums like BAM!” Hinata looked between all of the members of the band but couldn’t quite focus his praise on any one person in particular. “Can I join your band now?!”

Daichi’s mouth formed a thin line across his face as he thought about actually adding Hinata to their already rambunctious group. Suga elbowed him in side. Daichi winced and grabbed the spot below his ribs that received the blow. “Of course, yes, you’d be welcome,” he gasped.

Hinata jumped at least a foot in the air and brought his hands down in a sign of victory. Their post-performance celebration was interrupted by maniacal cheers of the crowd. 

Suga looked toward the stage area, but no one was at the mic. He looked over toward the door and saw a couple faces that he vaguely recognized. Oikawa was gushing in front of his fans with practiced grace and posing for pictures with a big smile. Iwaizumi stood next to him with an unreadable expression. 

He turned to say something to Daichi but found empty space. “Hinata, did you see where everyone went?” Suga looked around. “Hinata?” A small tug on the back of his shirt answered his question. Hinata hid himself behind Suga and looked like he was about to throw up. 

Noya, Tanaka, and Asahi had gone into the café to talk to Yachi and Kiyoko, so most of the group was accounted for, but Suga was still missing Daichi. He looked back to where Oikawa had been talking to his fans, but the crowd had dispersed. Daichi was leading Oikawa and Iwaizumi toward them. 

Oikawa had the same impressive presence on stage as he did just standing in front of him on a café patio. Hinata still looked like he was about to be sick. 

Daichi spoke first. “Suga, let me introduce these guys officially. Oikawa, Iwaizumi, this this Sugawara Koushi.” 

Suga winced. Daichi looked so proud to be introducing him to his very talented, famous friends and Suga couldn’t help but be embarrassed. What did he have to offer in the face of such overwhelming talent? It took a couple seconds, but he mustered the ability to respond. 

“Nice to meet you both in person! I loved your set last fall so much that I had to buy your most recent album.” 

“Such kind words,” Oikawa replied. His eyes traveled from Suga’s face, down his chest, and back up until they landed on his lips. Suga felt a chill go up his spine. “My, my, you really do have a nice face. Refreshing, even,” Oikawa said evenly. 

Iwaizumi looked between them and rolled his eyes. Daichi looked at Suga with a worried expression, but Suga didn’t catch it. The word ‘refreshing’ reverberated in his mind. Where had he heard that recently? 

Suga noticed a younger, serious-looking guy hovering around the group, so he shook the previous line of thought out of his head and caught his attention. “Ah, are you with Oikawa and Iwaizumi?”

Before the guy responded, Oikawa waved off Suga’s remark with a flick of the wrist. “Eh, just a lowly disciple of mine. You don’t have to mind him.”

“So Kageyama IS your disciple, now? After all that bitching and moaning?” Iwaizumi tilted his head and shot Oikawa a challenging look.

Oikawa’s shoulders caved and he wrapped his arms around his chest. “Using my own words against me, Iwa-chan. So mean!” He pouted.

“Kageyama? Like, Kageyama Tobio?” Daichi interjected. Iwaizumi nodded and Oikawa looked unamused. “Kageyama played guitar with The Court on their first album. He’s something of a genius.”

Oikawa scoffed. “I am the genius. Little Tobio was just lucky that I found him.”

“I wouldn’t call it lucky,” Iwaizumi muttered under his breath.

Daichi addressed Kageyama. “Nice to meet you in person, Kageyama. I loved what you did on the album,” he turned to Suga, “this guy really knows his stuff. We should have him come by and play with us sometime.”

Kageyama scowled. Suga wondered if he was nervous or if that was just his face. Kageyama surprised the group and bowed his head slightly. “I’d like that,” he said in a serious voice.

Hinata gasped loudly, which made Suga jump. In a flash, Hinata was out from behind Suga and in Kageyama’s face. He jabbed his finger right into Kageyama’s sternum and looked at him with burning eyes.

“YOU?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed the latest installment. And a big thank you to those of you who commented, left kudos, bookmarked, or subscribed to this work. I appreciate your support!!
> 
> Song is "Lampshade's on Fire" by Modest Mouse, off their latest album. Listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztdoHfbTRsk. I realize that the intro riff is piano, but I'm gonna pretend it's the guitar. Because. Just because. 
> 
> Next update will be early next week, hopefully before Wednesday. See you next time!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get interesting when Kageyama and Hinata duke it out, but Oikawa throws Suga off his game.

“Don’t scowl at me! I know it’s you!”

Kageyama looked down at Hinata and slapped his finger away from his chest. 

“This is just my face! And who cares?” 

Hinata put his hands on his hips and huffed. “I care! You pushed me out of my favorite spot!” He didn’t get a response from Kageyama, so he continued. “Not ONLY did you steal my favorite spot, you STOPPED PLAYING, and then you started WATCHING me. What the hell?”

Kageyama couldn’t meet Hinata’s gaze. He stared at the ground, off to the side. Oikawa watched with interest, one hand on his hip and one hand resting on Iwaizumi’s shoulder. He whispered something into Iwaizumi’s ear, which made him smack Oikawa in the forehead. Oikawa’s raised his hands to his face and ran them over his features, presumably to make sure they were all in tact. 

Suga looked over at Daichi, who had his arms crossed over his shoulders. Suga could tell he was interested, but didn’t want to get involved. Asahi’s eyes were wide as saucers and he slowly backed away toward the espresso bar.

“I didn’t mean to steal your spot,” Kageyama grumbled.

“But you did!” 

Kageyama looked right at Hinata. “I’m trying to apologize, dumbass!”

“Then ACTUALLY apologize! And apologize for being a creep!” 

“I’m not a creep!”

“You ARE! I saw you watching me!”

It didn’t seem like anyone else wanted to intervene, but their argument was going nowhere. Suga stepped in to mediate.

“Hinata, what happened exactly? How do you know Kageyama?” 

“Well, I told you that I busk at the quad, right? Everything was going really great, I earned a lot of tips, and then this guy,” Hinata pointed up at Kageyama’s face, “started playing guitar next to me, which would’ve been fine, but he’s so good that everyone tipped HIM and not me.” 

Kageyama sputtered at the compliment. Hinata continued. “So I tried moving to a bunch of different spots, but that one was perfect because it was RIGHT outside of the main classroom building. When I went back to the spot to fight him,” Hinata threw a couple punches in the air, which made Kageyama cock his head, “he wasn’t there, so I sat my stuff down and started to sing. Halfway through, I looked up at saw HIM hiding behind a tree.”

Kageyama choked a little on this breath and Hinata threw his hands up in the air. Suga tried not to laugh, he really did. 

“It’s not funny! It’s weird!” Hinata screeched. 

Suga swallowed his laugh as best he could. “C’mon, Hinata, did he really hide behind a tree?” 

Kageyama’s face turned bright red and he clenched his fists, which, unfortunately, served to confirm his guilt. 

Kiyoko came out onto the porch and stood on the periphery of the group, which got Daichi’s attention and brought it away from Kageyama and Hinata. Noya and Tanaka watched menacingly from inside the cafe. 

“Could you guys go inside? We still have a number of people that want to perform tonight and you’re proving to be quite the distraction,” she said calmly. 

“Oh, yeah, definitely. Sorry, Kiyoko,” Daichi said. He pushed Hinata toward the door that lead back into the café. Kageyama and Iwaizumi followed closely behind, but, once inside the café, Kageyama followed Daichi and Iwaizumi made his way to the espresso bar. 

Suga fell in line, but was stopped in front of the door by Oikawa. He wasn’t looking at Suga, but at the phone in his hand. He looked up and blew his bangs out of his eyes with a practiced breath. 

“I really do like your face,” he said into his phone. Suga thought back to the charming Oikawa that smiled at his fangirls and took goofy selfies and the shocked Oikawa that got smacked in the face by an unamused Iwaizumi. This Oikawa seemed different. 

“Thanks, I think,” Suga ran a hand through his hair. He felt self-consciousness creep up on him and smoothed his shirt. “That’s a big compliment coming from someone as handsome as yourself.”

Oikawa looked up from his phone. The lights strung up around the patio cast danced on his face and accentuated his high cheekbones. His long eyelashes cast a slight shadow on his cheeks when he blinked. “Glad you think so,” he said with a wink.

He was handsome, Suga thought, in a poster boy kind of way. His mind wandered to Daichi, whose handsomeness was deeper and fundamental, like it had sent roots into the ground. Oikawa still stood in front him, like he expected Suga to say or remember something.

“I’m sorry, this is silly, but do we know each other from somewhere else?” 

A look of surprise passed over Oikawa's face. He laughed through a closed mouth, shut his eyes, and leaned his head back before making eye contact with Suga for the last time that evening. 

“No, we don’t.” Oikawa stepped aside and motioned for Suga to pass into the café. “After you, Mr. Refreshing,” he said cooly.

They both headed to where Daichi sat and Iwaizumi met them halfway with two coffees in to-go cups. He handed one to Oikawa, who took it without looking and sipped it without question. Suga thought back to what Daichi had said all those months ago, about how the two of them had known each other since they were kids. Their movements seemed to complement each other perfectly.

Once they all made it to the table, Suga sat down next to Daichi, but Oikawa and Iwaizumi stayed standing. Oikawa scrunched his face at Hinata and Kageyama, who were still arguing, and looked in the direction of the door. 

“Well, I think it’s time we head out,” he said with conviction. 

Iwaizumi looked at him like he was insane. “We just got here, Shitty-kawa.”

“So mean, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa puffed out his cheeks and pouted. “I have very important work to do tonight.”

“Oh really?” Iwaizumi raised his eyebrows. “Like watch The X-Files for the millionth time?”

“Iwa-chan, really now, I haven’t watched that in ages,” he said haughtily.

A small, close-lipped smile spread across Iwaizumi’s face. “That’s not what Netflix said when I checked last night.”

Oikawa laughed. He held his coffee in one hand and patted Iwaizumi on the back with the other. “Don’t get too cocky, Iwa-chan. You’ll be watching it with me tonight.”

The triumphant smirk faded from Iwaizumi’s face and Suga could’ve sworn he paled a shade. 

“What about Kageyama? Didn’t you guys bring him?” Daichi asked. 

“He can fend for himself,” Oikawa said curtly. “Daichi, it was interesting to see you again. Hopefully next time we won’t miss your set. Can’t be too careful about our competition~” he sneered. Oikawa didn’t say anything to Suga before he turned to walk out the door. Iwaizumi nodded at them both and left.

Suga was about to open his mouth when they both heard a crash. He looked over and saw an upturned table, at least two iced coffees spilled on the floor, and two shocked café customers. Hinata was on the ground and Kageyama stood in front of him. Both of them were frozen in place with wide eyes. Suga and Daichi jumped up and rushed to the scene.

Kiyoko hurried over to the startled patrons and Noya and Tanaka bounded over to the scene with a mop and bucket. Tanaka started to mop but had to stop because he was laughing too hard. Noya jumped next to Kageyama and Hinata. 

“That was AWESOME! You were like a human pinball machine! Boom boom boom, right between that guy and the table! Oh man. That should be a move!” He gasped at his own idea, “that should be your move!”

Daichi groaned and rubbed his chin. Suga held out his hand to help Hinata up off the floor.

“Alright guys, I think we’ve officially overstayed our welcome.” Daichi said with his hands on his hips. “Noya, Tanaka, I’m going home. If you’re coming, meet me out by the truck in five minutes. Hinata, Kageyama,” Daichi sighed, “if you can’t get along, I don’t think it’s a good idea for either of you to play with us next weekend.”

Hinata jumped up and stood next to Kageyama. They both started to protest so vigorously that Suga feared for the rest of the tables. It wasn’t only that, though. They had both looked so excited to play with the guys that Suga's heart broke. He had an idea. 

“Daichi, Hinata’s a songwriter and Kageyama’s a guitarist. What if they wrote a song together and played it for us next weekend?” As soon as Suga floated the question, Hinata and Kageyama stopped talking and looked eagerly at Daichi. Daichi’s expression softened considerably.

“Alright. If you guys can write a song and play it for us with no major incident, we’ll go from there. Noya, Tanaka, grab Asahi and ask Yachi if she wants a ride. I’m heading out in a couple minutes. Kageyama, Hinata, do either of you need a ride?”

“NOPE!” They yelled in unison. 

Daichi rubbed his hands and looked at Suga. “If you want to come over tonight, we could share a bottle of wine? Or something? Or at least let me drop you off at home?”

Suga rubbed Daichi’s shoulder and shook his head. “Can I take a raincheck on the wine? I have some things to do at home. And you know I live a couple blocks away. It's an easy walk, remember?.”

“I do, but it’s no problem, really -”

“Seriously, Daichi, I’m fine. Plus, what kind of irresponsible guy packs more people into his car than there are seat belts? Hm?” Suga challenged him with raised eyebrows. Daichi gulped.

“You have a point. Text me when you’re home, okay? Just so I know you’re safe.”

“I will.” Suga let his hand slide down Daichi’s arm and he put his palm on the side of his leg. It was stupid, but he didn’t want to let any of the heat from Daichi’s arm escape from his person. 

Suga, Daichi, and Asahi, who lumbered over after Noya got him, shared a hug, and Suga waved as they walked out the door. He turned to say goodbye to Hinata and Kageyama.

“I’m about to walk home. Don’t work too hard, you two,” he said with a smiled as he ruffled Hinata’s hair.

“You do a whole lot of walking now, huh Suga? I’m jealous. I live in the next town over and have to bike or take the bus,” Hinata lamented.

Suga caught the worry in Kageyama’s eye. He ventured a guess that, since Kageyama was still in school, he lived closer than Hinata did. 

“I do a lot of walking, but it’s nice. It lets me think. If you want, you can stay with me some nights this week while you and Kageyama work on your song. My apartment is small, but it’ll be fine as a temporary measure. At least you two will be closer.”

Hinata jumped up in the air and ran into Suga to give him a hug. Kageyama looked hopeful and shifted his weight on his feet. Suga smiled as he hugged Hinata back. 

“Just text me if you need me. Is Yachi okay?

“I’m good!” Yachi said from behind Hinata. With all the fuss, Suga had hardly noticed her. 

“Alright you crazy kids, I’m headed home. Try not to destroy the place, eh?” 

Kageyama and Hinata nodded and ran to a table. Before they sat down, they pushed and shoved each other over who got to sit where. Suga turned to Yachi, who laughed nervously as she rambled about nothing in particular to Kiyoko, who leaned on the espresso bar to hear her better.

Suga left the café and walked home, deep in thought. The night had been incredible but, now that he was alone with his thoughts, Oikawa’s words ricocheted off the walls of his headspace and made it impossible for him to think of anything else. He had been used to getting comments about his looks, but they were usually bland compliments made up of generic words. It had almost looked like Oikawa recognized him from somewhere, too, which unnerved him. 

When he got home, he toed off his shoes, texted Daichi, and started to scroll through his text messages. It didn’t take him long to land upon a familiar name. The realization made him so nauseous that he had to sit down. It took him a couple minutes to regain his composure and call the name on his screen. He put the phone on speaker. 

_“Sugawara? What a pleasant surprise!”_

Suga felt his face heat up and his hands shook. “Hi Yahaba. Quick question. Remember when you said that I had a refreshing face a couple months ago? What made you say that, I mean, that exact phrase?” Yahaba had bothered him a couple times since his first phone call, and, during one of those conversations, he had mentioned something about Suga having a 'refreshing' face. He didn't think much of it at the time, but the memory reverberated in his head.

There was a pause on the line.

_Hmmm, it was just a word that happened to be floating around. It suits you._

“Floating around? Who said it? Did you come up with it? You need to tell me the truth.” Suga’s heart pounded in his chest.

Another pause. 

“Yahaba.”

He took a deep breath before speaking. _Sugawara, darling, first you have to promise that you won’t hang up the phone. Second, you have to promise that you’ll hear me out._

“I’m not promising anything,” Suga replied quickly. 

_I suppose that’s fair. You know that client I keep telling you about, the golden ray of sunshine? The high roller? I might’ve shown him your picture. And given him your name. And he might’ve said that about you._

Suga’s stomach dropped. “Oikawa Tooru. Lead singer and frontman of The Court?”

He heard Yahaba clap and squeal on the other end of the phone.

_However did you guess!? Did you meet him! Isn’t he wonderful? Don’t you regret packing up and quitting the industry when someone like that’s around?_

Suga’s mind reeled. “You showed him my picture? You gave him my name? Without my permission?”

Oikawa held a power over him now; he could blackmail him without any repercussions. He could trick him into being arrested. He could tell everyone, shatter his beautiful life, and leave him with nothing. He was afraid.

Yahaba spoke with a quiet, measured voice. _I know it was a shitty thing to do, god do I know, but please believe me. I have my reasons._

“It was really shitty. Beyond shitty.” Suga hoped the daggers in his voice traversed the line and sunk into Yahaba’s chest. “Enlighten me, please.”

_Sugawara, he’s a good guy, really, and trust me when I say he doesn’t want anyone to know he sleeps with whores as much as you don’t want people to know you are one._

“Don’t use that word,” Suga hissed. 

_Lighten up. I used it to make a point. Oikawa doesn’t need his secrets sullying his reputation. And don’t get all and mighty on me, Sugawara. That’s what we are, what both you and I signed up for._

Suga unclenched his fists and dropped his shoulders. Suga hated the word and knew that Yahaba didn’t throw it around wantonly, but it sunk into his head and anchored there. That’s what he was, when all was said and done. Asahi had tried to tell him, over and over, that Suga’s previous job did not define him, but the words never quite reached him. 

Images from the night flashed before him. Daichi’s smile and the way his arm felt under Suga’s hand. Hinata’s vibrant energy. Asahi’s voice. Noya and Tanaka’s faces as they played. The way Kiyoko watched Yachi with more interest than Suga’s ever seen from her. Suga didn’t have the courage to tell them the truth, which made his wonderful life into a complete and utter lie.

“Why would I take him on as a client now, especially when I haven’t been doing it for over half a year. And, honestly, he seemed like a pompous asshole.” Suga spit. His heart was heavy and his fingers were cold.

_I want to be very clear with you. Don’t ever talk badly about Oikawa around me again. You can crap on everyone else, you can crap on me, but not him. Not everything is as it seems, Sugawara._

Suga was almost stunned silent by Yahaba’s uncharacteristic seriousness and cryptic words. Almost. He didn't back down that easily.

“If he’s so great, why me?” Suga asked.

_Honestly? Because I think you’d be good for him because you actually care about people, even clients. He could use that in his life right now. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to get back to bed. We all need our beauty sleep._

“Yeah, yeah. Take care, Yahaba.”

The line went dead. Suga got up from the table and slipped into bed without changing. He was overwhelmed by everything that happened that day and had a sneaking suspicion that tonight had marked a crossroads and he had chosen the wrong path. His phone vibrated a number of times, so he waited until it stopped before he grabbed it. 

From: Sawamura Daichi  
The boys just went down. I can’t believe how well tonight went. You’re amazing. 

From: Sawamura Daichi  
Did you mean what you said about the rain check? It’s been awhile since we’ve had any time to ourselves. Like months. 

From: Sawamura Daichi  
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I miss you. I see you all the time, like at work and band practice, which is great, but I miss you. Does that make sense? 

From: Sawamura Daichi  
You’re probably asleep already. Talk to you soon. Sleep well. I’m so proud of us :)

The texts weighed on him like a heavy stone pressing him to death. Instead of responding, Suga reached over to his bedside table to grab his pen and notebook. He scribbled the first words that came to mind.

    And I'm tired of making friends and I'm tired of making time,  
    And I'm sick to death of love and I'm sick to death of trying.  
    And it's easier for you,  
    Oh, it's easier for you.

He wasn’t talking to Yahaba or Oikawa, Daichi, Noya, or Hinata. He wasn’t talking to his co-workers. He wasn’t talking to Asahi, the friend that stood by and supported him even though he knew Suga was making the wrong decision. 

It was easier for him, the person he was before he met them, before he fell in love with the people around him and the version of himself that he wished he could be.

    And it's easier for you,  
    Oh, it's easier for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah. Long note.
> 
> Lyrics at the end are from Salome, by the Old 97's (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0iGpr5sF6c). Luckily for you all, I cut the part about the painting of the same name by Titian. I know there's only so many times you can listen to me talk about how much I love Renaissance art and I don't want to push my luck. 
> 
> Aaaanyway, thanks so much for reading! And thank you for all the comments and kudos and bookmarks! It's not an exaggeration to say that they make my days brighter. 
> 
> There's a very big chance I won't update until late next week/early the week after next - I'll be geeking it up in Seattle at ECCC this weekend. If any of you are going, see you there! 
> 
> Find me on tumblr @jellryans


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noya and Tanaka find their own place, but Suga and Daichi get some bad news.

The morning after the show and his confrontation with Oikawa, Suga woke up to ten text messages from Yahaba and, consequently, a massive headache. Before checking his messages, he hopped out of bed to fortify himself with a glass of water and something for his head. He settled back into bed, sighed, and scrolled through the text messages. Yahaba had managed to both profusely apologize for violating Suga’s privacy and talk up Oikawa Tooru like he was the prized ham at a country fair and it made Suga’s head spin.

He wrote a quick message to Yahaba, not because he forgave him but so that he would stop sending messages, and then sent a message to Daichi to apologize for not responding the night before. He wrote out a second text, about missing him too, but deleted it. Suga closed his eyes and thought about his odd encounter the night before.

Oikawa Tooru was exceptionally good-looking and successful, had an equally handsome and successful best friend that at one point he might’ve been in love with, was in the habit of befriending, finding, or employing male sex workers, and had public relationships with women. It wasn’t all that unusual for publicly straight men to seek out male sex workers in private, but something seemed off. What happened between Iwaizumi and Oikawa? Was Iwaizumi not interested in men? Why did Yahaba think Oikawa needed someone that cared about him when it seemed like he had everything?

Suga looked at his phone again. No response from Daichi. He was a late sleeper and it was still the weekend and it made sense that he wouldn’t respond right away. They had plans for later in the afternoon, so Suga contented himself with that and swung his legs over the side of the bed to get ready for the day.

The morning sunshine came through his kitchen window and lit up plants on the window sill. His apartment was small and maybe a little grungy, but it was his. He paid for it with money he earned at the nonprofit, and he loved every square inch. There were posters hung up on the walls, photos of the band tacked up on cabinets, and a random mish-mash of furniture that Daichi, Asahi, Noya, and Tanaka helped him find. Suga turned on the coffee maker and watered his plants while he waited for the coffee to brew.

After his morning coffee, he sat down at his desk to write. He doodled in the margins of his notebook while he thought. The whole situation with Oikawa and Yahaba made him grateful that he wasn’t dependent on sex work anymore. He didn’t make even half of what he used to, but it was enough for his apartment, for food to take care of his friends, and for him to put a little money into savings each month. He did the math in his head and smiled. If everything continued as it was, he would have enough money by the fall to enroll in a class at the university. He would be able to finish the college degree that he abandoned all those years ago. He would get his life on track, find the courage to tell Daichi everything, and finally, finally move forward with the man he loved.

Suga stared at the doodles and put his notebooks away in favor of breakfast. He stood in front of the fridge and surveyed his meager supplies. It occurred to him that if Hinata spent any time in his apartment, like they had discussed the night before, he would want to make sure he was fed. He hurried to get dressed and made a mental list of all the groceries he might need to feed a hungry college student.

An hour later, Suga had barely unpacked his groceries before he heard fists banging on his door. He yelled that it was open and Noya, Tanaka, and Asahi barged into the apartment. Suga craned his neck to see if anyone else had followed them. 

“Where’s Daichi?” 

“Eh, some work thing. He said he was sorry to ditch us but had to take care of something before Monday,” Tanaka said as he flopped down on Suga’s couch.

Suga took his phone out of his pocket to see if Daichi had texted him, but found nothing. It wasn’t like Daichi to keep him out of the loop and it made him a little uneasy. He almost laughed aloud at his own hypocrisy, but stopped himself. He looked at Asahi, who shrugged back. 

“Okay then. Do you guys have the address of the house you’re going to see?”

“Yup! It’s right on my phone. Daichi let us borrow the car so it’ll be easier!”

Asahi gulped. “I really prefer not to drive all the way there… I don’t know the way.”

Noya reached up, put his hands on Asahi’s cheeks, and smushed them together. “Asahi, you got this. You’ll be great! It’ll be awesome! We’ll get to live in our own place because of you!”

The corners of Asahi’s eyes crinkled as he tried to smile and he nodded. Suga noticed the blush on Asahi’s cheeks when Noya dropped his hands.

Suga put his hands on his hips and pointed to the door. “Now that’s settled, let’s get going. It’s about time you find a place and stop taking years of Daichi’s life.” 

They all piled in to Daichi’s truck and Asahi took the wheel. Suga kept looking over from the passenger side like he expected Daichi to be in the driver’s seat. 

When they arrived at the correct address, Noya and Tanaka hopped out of the car and raced to the front door. Suga and Asahi had decided to wait outside so that the other housemates wouldn’t feel pressured by the large group of people. It also gave them a chance to talk. 

Suga nudged Asahi with his elbow. “You and Noya are getting a bit touchy,”

Asahi tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and looked out over the hood of the car. “Heh, maybe, though I think that’s just how Noya is.”

“Really? Because it seems pretty obvious that he likes you.”

“He likes everyone, Suga.”

Suga scrunched up his face. “You know what I mean, you big oaf.”

“I - I don’t know,” Asahi looked down into his lap. He turned to look at Suga. “What about you?”

“What about me?” Suga asked innocently.

“Daichi isn’t exactly subtle about his feelings for you.”

“Asahi, I just… can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?” Asahi said with a raised eyebrow.

“And people say I’m the sassy one,” Suga grumbled. 

They shared a laugh and talked about their night at the café. Even Asahi was pretty confident that he sang well and that their performance had been received well by the crowd. 

When the front door of the house opened again, the guys came out with big smiles and triumphant looks. Suga watched Noya and Tanaka shake hands with two guys that looked about their age before they ran back to the truck. On the return trip, Noya and Tanaka babbled non-stop about their awesome new roommates and their awesome new house. Kinoshita and Narita, their housemates, were graduate students at the local university and that Noya and Tanaka would be able to move their stuff into the house in two weeks. Suga texted Daichi to let him know that the boys had a successful day and that he would have his house back sooner rather than later. No response. He couldn't take it anymore.

“Was Daichi at home when you left?” Suga asked the group.

Noya peered up from his phone. “Yeah, he was pretty on edge. Some guy named Kuroo was there.”

“I don’t even think they heard us leave,” Tanaka added. 

For once, Asahi seemed thankful to be driving so that he had a valid reason to not be involved in the conversation. Suga looked at him, but Asahi kept his eyes glued to the road.

“Kuroo works with us,” Suga said as he settled back into the seat. Uneasiness crept back into his gut.

“Must be a pretty big emergency if Daichi’s working on a Sunday,” Noya said. 

Suga hummed. He wasn’t involved in much of the higher level stuff, so it wasn’t entirely unreasonable that Kuroo would be there. And that Daichi would be ignoring his texts. Right?

The rest of the ride was quiet, and Suga got back to his apartment without incident. He texted Daichi one last time that evening and eventually went to bed with a dull ache in his chest.

On Monday morning, Suga only saw Daichi once, when he entered the building. Suga remembered how he paused and rapped his fingers on the side of the desk before he went into the office. Suga tried to call after him but he had been so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn’t hear.

He stapled the last of his papers together and glanced at the clock - 5:15pm. He turned to peek into the office and saw that the door to the conference room was still closed. A few of the assistants were still at their desks, so Suga got Ennoshita’s attention and pointed to his wrist as if he were wearing a watch. Ennoshita looked behind him at the closed doors and turned back to Suga and shook his head.

Suga faced his desk and cleared it. It was the last Monday of the month, at the end of a fiscal quarter, which meant that there was a board meeting early that morning and the staff was gathered to discuss the ramifications of any votes that had been taken. Suga hadn’t been around long enough for too many of these meetings, but it seemed like they were in that conference room for much longer than usual. Coupled with Daichi’s lack of communication and the eerie silence of the office, he didn't think his worry was unjustified.

When he couldn’t clear anything else off his desk, he watched the doors until the meeting was over and they opened. He stood up. His co-workers filed out. Bokuto stretched and yawned like he had been asleep the entire time. Akaashi walked with him in step and carried a neat pile of notes. That was normal. Yachi came out and looked like she was about to cry. That was less normal. Kuroo and Tsukishima looked serious. Daichi was the last one out and he followed the executive director into his office. He didn’t look Suga’s way. That was abnormal. Suga still stood by his desk and wrung his hands.

Kuroo came out into the lobby and perched on the side of Suga's desk. He stayed silent for a minute before he spoke.

“Daichi’s going to kick my ass for saying something, but, honestly? I think I could take him.”

A syllable was the only thing Suga managed. “Oh?”

“This morning, the board voted to amend the annual budget in favor of the development team so that they would have more resources for fundraising.”

“That sounds like good news,” Suga said warily. 

“In a way, it’s great news, but that money has to come from somewhere.” Kuroo looked straight at Suga. “Sugawara, they cut your job. You can finish out the week, but that’s it.”

The words washed over Suga and he did his best to stay afloat. His stomach did an uncomfortable backflip and he suddenly found it hard to hold himself upright. 

Kuroo rubbed his temples. “When we heard the rumors, we spent hours crunching numbers. Daichi didn’t want you to know until he had exhausted every last option. We really did try.” 

Suga nodded, but had to stop. The room spun and every time he shook his head he was afraid the ground would fall out from under him. “Oh,” Suga said again. He braced himself on the desk.

Kuroo frowned. “I can’t believe I’m going to have to deal with that dickhead from the office supply store again.”

Suga tried to laugh. “Daishou isn’t all that bad.”

“Pfft. Dude just gets under my skin,” Kuroo gave Suga an appraising look. “You don’t look like it, but you’ve got a thick hide, Suga. You’ll do alright, but you’ll definitely be missed.”

Kuroo got up, gave him one last look, and went back into the office. Suga looked at his shaking hands and then up at the ceiling in an attempt to stop his tears from falling. Luckily, his muscle memory kicked in and his feet took him to the bus stop outside the warehouse. 

Those same feet brought him to the bar at which he and Daichi had seen The Court all those months ago. 

The place was practically empty, so Suga took a seat at the bar and waved to Ukai, the bartender. He had an unkempt look and could be terrifying when the situation called for it, but, for whatever reason, he had taken a liking to Suga, Daichi, and their group of friends.

“Suga, hey. How’re things?”

“I lost my job today.” Suga heard the words come out of his mouth as if someone else said them.

Ukai crossed his arms over his chest and glowered. “Don’t tell me you got yourself in trouble?”

Suga laughed even though Ukai didn’t mean to be funny. “Budget issues, I guess. May I get a whiskey? Neat?”

The bartender’s face softened. “I’ll make it a double. On the house.” 

Music to Suga’s ears. “Thanks,” he said quietly.

Ukai snorted and walked off to grab the whiskey and a glass. Suga rested his elbows on the bar, folded his hands, and rested his head on his fingers. So that was what Daichi was doing on Sunday. He had tried to save Suga’s job. Kuroo had tried to save Suga’s job. Someone sat down next to him. 

“Kuroo told you, huh?”

Daichi.

“How’d you know I was here?”

Daichi stared behind the bar. “This is sort of our place, Suga. We come here enough to know the bartender and manager by name.” 

“True enough,” Suga agreed. 

Ukai came over with Suga’s whiskey and nodded at Daichi, who just nodded back. Daichi only ever ordered one thing, so Ukai grabbed a pint glass and filled it with beer. Most days, Suga poked fun at his rigid adherence to habit, but, today, he just sipped his drink and let the alcohol burn his throat. 

Daichi grit his teeth. “Suga, I, we - we’re going to get a petition started, and I have something drafted for the board. I’m going - ”

“It’s fine,” Suga interrupted. He tried his best to speak evenly, but his voice cracked and he winced.

“No! We need you! I’ll be damned if they take your job away! I’m not letting you go!” Daichi shouted. 

Suga took a big sip of his drink and jabbed Daichi in the ribcage. He wouldn’t let Daichi shoulder the blame for this.

“This is not your fault, you big dummy,” Suga said with a shaky smile. “And stop shouting.”

Daichi rubbed his side and nodded. “But what will you do?” 

“I'll just do what I did last time: hop on a random bus and run into someone I haven't seen in ages. They’ll get me a job, introduce me to their friends, let me join their band, and everything will be peachy. No problem right?” 

Daichi frowned. “Please don’t leave us.”

“I’m kidding, Daichi. Now stop making ME comfort YOU and drink your beer.”

They drank in silence.

“I'm going to miss you,” Daichi said into his beer.

“You've been saying that a lot lately.”

“Because I mean it.”

“Don't tell me you’ve gone soft, Daichi. Last thing we need is another Asahi,” Suga tried to laugh. He figured he was still in shock, but joking around with Daichi felt right. His world was spinning, but Daichi kept him grounded.

“When Noya and Tanaka moved into my house, we spent less time together. Now I won't see you at work. I'm so used to having you around,” Daichi continued.

Suga faked shock. “You’re _used_ to me? I'm offended and hurt.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Daichi exhaled and shook his head before giving Suga the warm smile that, in any other circumstance, would’ve sent him up into the sky. “Fine. I love being around you, I love what you bring to our insane group of friends, what you bring with you everywhere. It’s like you’re my magnet. Or gravity. Like everything’s in balance when we work together, like a planet and a moon, or, I don’t know. I can’t think of the word. I’m not the writer.”

Suga watched Daichi speak. His words took shape and spun in the whirlwind that had swept him up and refused to set him back down. Suga tried to reach out for them and use them to steady himself, but everything spun too quickly for him. Daichi stopped talking when he felt Suga loop his arm through the crook of his arm and lean against his shoulder.

They sat in silence for another hour before Daichi called a cab to take Suga back to his apartment. When Suga entered his apartment, he closed the door, leaned against it, and sunk to the floor. He put his head between his knees and allowed himself to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me, guys! And thank you for your patience! Your comments and kudos are amazing and I'm so grateful for the support.
> 
> I think we're about halfway through the story - I might post the final chapter count with my next update, which WILL HAPPEN early next week. I swear.
> 
> Aaaand, I changed my tumblr url to @jellyryans, which doesn't super matter, but there it is :)
> 
> See you next week!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Suga's last week at work and Hinata and Kageyama help distract him.

Suga got off the bus and walked toward his apartment building. A head of orange hair ambushed him almost as soon as he had turned the on to his street. 

Suga offered Hinata his arm and Hinata took it. They walked arm in arm to Suga’s building. He told Suga all about his day at school and Suga listened closely; he had wanted to be alone almost all day, and, now, as he watched Hinata’s eyes glitter and felt their shoulders bump, he was overwhelmed with gratitude for the company and the distraction from his current situation.

Once they were both in the apartment and settled in, Suga thought about cooking dinner and patted himself on the back for having stocked up over the weekend. There was a distinct possibility that Hinata hadn’t had a real meal all day; it was a long time ago, but Suga remembered what it was like to be a hungry college student.

Hinata interrupted Suga’s thoughts. “Are you making dinner? I’m starving!” 

“Of course!” Suga answered with mock exasperation. “I figured you’d be hungry after running around campus all day.”

“Yesssss, Suga you are best!” He was excited, but, instead of his usual victory leap, Hinata’s brow furrowed. “Can Kageyama come over for dinner, too? He was at school today and he told me that his parents don’t really cook for him anymore.”

“He can definitely come for dinner,” Suga replied quickly. He didn’t know Kageyama that well, but the thought of him sitting alone with no food on the table tugged at his heartstrings so hard that it almost knocked him over. 

Hinata fiddled with the bags of vegetables that Suga got out of the fridge. “And, is it okay if I stay the night? You can say ‘no’ if you want!”

“Aw, I don’t mind if you do, but my place is pretty small. And you have to be out of here pretty early in the morning so that I can go to work…” Suga’s voice trailed off and he didn’t try to save it.

“That’s okay! I don’t mind at all! Though…” Hinata looked nervously around the kitchen, “do you think Kageyama could stay here too? I mean, only if you would be okay with it. And you can say ‘no’! We just want to work on our song. My place is too far and Kageyama said his parents wouldn’t like the noise.”

Suga sighed. “We don’t really know him, Hinata. What if he’s a psycho and murders us in our sleep?”

“Ehhh, I don’t think so. Daichi talked to Iwaizumi and Oikawa and made sure Kageyama was legit. They said he was a stuck-up jerk, but we already knew that!” Hinata said brightly.

Suga was a little surprised, but it was so very like Daichi. He ignored the fluttering in his chest and studied Hinata, who stared back at him with a hopeful expression. “That’s good to know, but I only have one extra futon.”

“That’s okay! I can sleep on the floor. Or the couch. It’s pretty small, but I think I’m short enough to fit,” Hinata gasped. “Don’t tell Kageyama I said that I’m short!”

“I’ll try my best not to,” Suga said with a laugh and crossed his fingers over his heart. “Just no funny business on my only extra futon, okay?” he waggled his finger at Hinata. 

“Gah! It’s totally fine! I’m fine! I’ll sleep on the couch! Or the floor! Not on the futon with Kageyama!” Hinata fumbled with his words and turned red. Suga bit his lip to hide a laugh. 

“Alright, alright. If you say so. Go let Kageyama know he’s welcome to come for dinner and stay the night. I’ll get started on food and you can help after you’ve let him know.”

“Kay!” Hinata shouted. 

Suga took his own phone out of his pocket. 

To: Sawamura Daichi  
I hope you didn’t terrify Kageyama in your interrogations ;)

Daichi replied almost instantly. 

From: Sawamura Daichi  
No! I only spoke to Iwaizumi. Well, Oikawa butted in halfway through. Sorry for not telling you. I just wanted to make sure that you’d be okay.

To: Sawamura Daichi  
No worries. I know you’re looking out for Hinata.

From: Sawamura Daichi  
And you :)

To: Sawamura Daichi  
Okay, enough sweet talk. I have to get back to cooking dinner for these hungry kids.

From: Sawamura Daichi  
If they’re anything like Noya and Tanaka, they’ll eat you out of house and home. Call me if you need anything. Please. 

To: Sawamura Daichi  
You got it, captain.

Suga slipped his phone back into his pocket and chopped the vegetables he had put on the counter. He eyed a picture of him and Daichi tacked up on the kitchen cabinet; Suga had strategically placed it there so that he could look at it when he cooked. He traced Daichi’s sharp jaw line and the outline of his hair. Daichi’s hair was short in the photo but, lately, he had let it grow, and it took all Suga had not to run his hands through it whenever he saw him. He wondered if Daichi ever thought about running his hands through his own silver hair; Suga almost shivered at the thought of Daichi’s tan hands tangled against the pale of his hair. He imagined Daichi’s calloused fingers gripping the locks at the base of his neck and pulling - 

“Suga? Are you okay? Kageyama’s coming. He offered to bring something, but I told him we were good. We’re good, right?”

Suga blinked a couple times to haul himself out of his ridiculous fantasy. “Great! I’m great. Sorry. I’m glad Kageyama will be able to join us, and, yeah, we have everything we need.” He let out a shaky breath.

“Yay! What’re you doing? Can I help now?”

Suga considered the options and put Hinata in charge of the rice maker. He figured that it was the task with the least chance of a freak kitchen disaster. They worked side by side and when the doorbell buzzed, Hinata leapt three feet in the air and ran to Suga’s door to greet Kageyama. 

Kageyama and Hinata came up and Hinata showed him where to put his things. Suga whisked the rest of the stir-fry sauce to let the two of them talk before he greeted the duo. 

“Hi Kageyama! Did you find the place okay?”

He nodded. “I did. It was a little bit of a longer walk than I thought, but that’s okay.” His eyes got wide very quickly, like he forgot something. “Suga! Thank you for having me!”

“It’s no problem at all. I’m glad you could come!” Suga glanced at Hinata, who glowed with excitement.

A couple hours later, Kageyama and Hinata sat on the couch and talked in low voices. Kageyama had an acoustic guitar over his lap and made chord patterns on the neck as Hinata tried to describe the sound he wanted with his hands and incomprehensible noises. Suga sat at the cleared kitchen table, leaned his elbows on the surface, and sipped his tea.

They only had one incident at dinner. Kageyama had been talking about his classes when Hinata was struck with sudden inspiration for their song. He slammed his hands down on the table which flung Kageyama’s chopsticks into the air. They reached for the chopsticks at the same time, bonked heads, and then swiped at each other as if it were some sort of boxing championship. Suga had to reach over and slap them both from across the table. Other than that, it was uneventful and, he admitted, pleasant. 

Now, Suga watched Hinata hum along to Kageyama’s strumming. They had only just started hanging out and they were already so in sync, like fate herself had brought them together at the open mic night. Fate? 

“Hey Kageyama,” Suga interrupted, “how’d you end up at the café last weekend? Did you know Hinata would be there?”

Kageyama stopped playing and thought about Suga’s question. Hinata leaned closer to him. 

“No. Oikawa wanted to go for some reason and he brought me because he thought there might be people who would,” Kageyama looked at Hinata like he was afraid to continue, “tolerate me. And let me play with them.”

Hinata was outraged. “Don’t get all sad! You have me now! We’ll be the best!” Kageyama stared at him in stunned silence. 

Suga wondered if Oikawa knew that Kageyama wanted to play with Hinata. But how would he have known that Hinata would be there? Daichi had probably mentioned something off hand, but they didn’t talk that much, did they? Suga’s gut twisted. Did he know Suga would be there? A flurry of papers from the coffee table distracted him.

“Well now you’re here with me and we’ll write the most amazing song and then we’ll be in a real band!” Hinata jumped up and shouted.

Kageyama smiled, but it faded too quickly for Hinata to notice. Suga took his cue to leave and got up from the table. “I’m off to bed, but come get me if you need anything. And try not to destroy my apartment.” He pointed to the extra futon and the folded sheets on top of it. “If you need any more blankets, they’re in the closet by the front door. Goodnight you two. And don’t stay up too late!” Suga chided.

“We won’t! Thanks for dinner! See you in the morning!” 

“Thanks again for dinner. It was really nice of you,” Kageyama added in a low voice.

Suga took one last look at them before he went into his room and shut the door.

The next night, only the second night they spent in Suga’s apartment, Hinata and Kageyama fell asleep together on the couch. Kageyama still had his guitar on his lap and Hinata had ink smudges up and down his arms. They leaned into each other, not quite supporting one another, but close enough to touch. Suga snapped a photo and smiled at the picture on his screen.

He cleared the papers off Hinata’s lap, took the guitar off Kageyama, and rolled out the extra futon with sheets just in case one of them woke up and needed it. When everything was set up, he crept back into his room sat at his desk. He tapped his pen on his notebook and the weight of the week pressed down on him.

Not enough money to pay rent. Not enough money to keep getting food and help his friends. Not enough money to go back to school. Another job search. A way to make money that he believed he could leave behind. Oikawa’s face. 

Suga leaned back in his chair and tried to stop himself from wondering what it would have been like if he hadn’t kept his past from Daichi, if he hadn’t turned himself into a liar. What if he could change? Would they be in love? Could Daichi love him, the him with all his cards on the table? Would the truth be too weird, too painful? Which would he regret more? 

Suga's last day at work was a somber affair and he was almost thankful that it was all over. The only things that got him through the long days of tying up loose ends and saying 'goodbye' were Hinata and Kageyama's hushed whispers, excited smiles, and soft guitar notes. Saturday afternoon came and Suga showed up at Daichi’s house for band practice and, most importantly, the debut of Hinata and Kageyama’s song. Noya and Tanaka welcomed him into the house.

“Suga! Have you found a new job yet? Kiyoko said you could work with us! You could be our supervisor!”

“Dude, that would be perfect. I mean, the job pays crap, but it’s basically the coolest place in the city,” Tanaka said solemnly. 

Suga rubbed Tanaka’s head and pushed his groceries into Noya’s arms before he pushed them both to the kitchen. “I’ll be fine, you guys. Just worry about yourselves and your new place!”

Noya threw the bags on the counter and Daichi and Asahi caught them before they fell and spilled everywhere. 

“Oh yeah! We wanted to invite everyone to a housewarming party! When we gonna do it bro?” Noya looked at Tanaka and rubbed his palms together in anticipation.

Tanaka rubbed his chin. “My best dude, like the weekend we move in? I’ll okay it with Kinoshita and Narita, though they should be cool. They said they didn’t mind us doing stuff on the weekends as long as we kept it chill during the week.”

“YES! Let’s do it! You all are invited!”

Suga turned to the living room and saw a number of faces, some he expected and others he didn’t. 

“Tsukishima?” 

Tsukishima broke off his glaring contest with Kageyama, who was seated on the couch across the room, to look at Suga and nod. 

“Hey! What’re you doing here?” Suga asked.

He shrugged. “Daichi told me to be here today. He wants me to play with the king of The Court.”

“Don’t call me that!” Kageyama yelled in the background.

Suga wasn’t convinced. “Daichi has been trying to get you to play with us for months! What made you change your mind?”

Tsukishima looked to the corner of the room where Hinata spoke to a tall, lanky boy with long, black hair tied up in a small ponytail. His painted fingernails tucked loose strands of hair behind his ears.

“My friend wanted to see what the fuss was about. Also, I had to see if Kageyama was really as good as everyone said he was.”

“Cool! I’m so excited to hear you play after all this time,” Suga said warmly. He wanted to introduce himself to Tsukishima's friend, so he headed toward Hinata and Tsukishima’s friend. When the unfamiliar boy turned, Suga almost gasped. Tsukishima had a restrained smirk, but the boy in front of him had a toothy grin that lit up the room. Tsukishima was clean cut and unassuming, but the boy standing in front of him had a bold smattering of freckles, a septum piercing, and a slightly ripped t-shirt. Suga was intrigued immediately and couldn’t wait to get to know the both of them better.

Hinata introduced them. “Suga, this is Yamaguchi. His nose piercing is so cool! And look! He has his nails painted! That’s awesome!” Hinata yelled over to Kageyama, “Hey! Bakageyama! Wanna paint my nails?”

Tsukishima snorted. Kageyama looked mortified, “Definitely not, dumbass Hinata!”

The three of them laughed. 

“I’m so glad I finally convinced Tsukki to come - I’ve been wanting to for so long!” Yamaguchi chirped. Tsukishima didn’t even blink at the use of the nickname he so abhorred at work. Suga was in heaven. He had so many questions.

“We’re excited too! So, I know Tsukishima plays bass, do you play anything? Or do you sing? Or write?” He asked.

Yamaguchi squirmed under Suga’s eager gaze. “Well, I’ve been playing keyboard for a little while now, but I’m not good enough to play in front of people.”

“They don’t have a keyboard player yet! This is perfect!” Hinata grabbed Yamaguchi’s hands and jumped up and down. 

Daichi clapped his hands to get everyone’s attention. He surveyed the room with a serious glare.

“Alright guys, we’re going to get started. Hinata and Kageyama, take whoever you want to help you with your song and head downstairs to practice. Suga, Asahi, and I will come down in fifteen minutes, so you better be prepared.”

Noya and Tanaka saluted Daichi and ran down the stairs. Tsukishima followed after Kageyama, Hinata, and Yamaguchi. 

“How’s the song?” Asahi asked Suga.

“I haven’t really heard the whole thing, just bits and pieces,” he shrugged. 

Daichi crossed his arms over his chest. “But they stayed at your house all week. You must’ve heard something.”

“I didn’t hear anything all the way through. I will tell you that they worked hard, at least. It was pretty endearing.”

“That’s a relief,” Daichi relaxed his shoulders. 

When the time came, Suga squeezed himself in between Daichi and Asahi on the couch in the basement. Noya tried to situate himself between Asahi at the arm of the couch, but ended up halfway on Asahi’s lap. Yamaguchi leaned against the couch and smiled at Tsukishima.

Kageyama stood stiffly next to Hinata, who grabbed the microphone. 

“So, this song was inspired by our conversation with Suga at the open mic night. We just did a few verses because we only had a week, and Tsukishima and Tanaka just got their parts, but I hope you’ll like it and let us play with you forever,” Hinata said in one breath. 

The last comment made Suga squeeze Daichi’s arm and he, in turn, patted Suga’s hand. Hinata cleared his throat, nodded at Kageyama, and Tanaka counted off. The song started with a peppy guitar riff and Kageyama made eye contact with Hinata to signal the lyrics. 

     Won't you take me  
     Where my feet feel happy in their own time,  
     And the cathedral of reason lets the bells chime,  
     And the lightning is fine?

     I'm old enough to know  
     That people waiting on some big sign  
     Should quit their waiting on the divine,  
     Divine is what's in your mind.

Suga was held spell-bound by Hinata’s voice, which simultaneously echoed the guitar riff and rose above it. He sung into the microphone like he wasn’t born to do anything else. 

     I've seen the cruel and hard  
     And I've seen them hard on you,  
     But I'll buy you brand new shoes if you cross to my side;  
     There's a whole lot of walking to do!

Daichi snorted and looked at Suga. Asahi’s foot tapped next to his and Suga tried to take in the lyrics as quickly as they were thrown into the air around him.

     And if we're near or far  
     From our city by the sea-side,  
     Well, as long as we keep our stride  
     I believe we'll be fine.

Kageyama took over on the guitar and Hinata danced as he watched Kageyama play. Everyone in the room watched his fingers move effortlessly from chord to chord as his hand moved up and down the neck of the guitar. Suga knew that Kageyama was talented and had a gut feeling that Hinata was too, but he was shocked by just how explosive they were together. Suga looked at Daichi, whose jaw had dropped at some point during the last verse.

     You've seen the years roll on  
     And you've seen me roll with you.  
     I see the road is long, so get on my side;  
     There's a whole lot of walking to do!

     And if we stay on our feet,  
     We'll make it in our own time.  
     And though the road has got some steep climbs,  
     I believe we'll be fine.

During the next instrumental break, Suga thought about the lyrics. Kageyama walked to Suga’s apartment everyday to play with Hinata and somehow, in the course of a week, they had managed to come up with this, a sort of hopeful manifesto about the future of their relationship, creative or otherwise. 

Hinata lowered his voice to sing the next verse, but Kageyama shot him a look. Tanaka looked worriedly between the two of them and kept playing, but Tsukishima had just stopped. Kageyama snuck behind Hinata to say something to Tsukishima, who rolled his eyes and brought his hands back to his bass.

Kageyama locked eyes with Hinata. He bobbed his head to the music and mouthed words to himself for a few seconds before Kageyama signaled him back into the song. 

     Well, I'm here, and you're here,  
     And it's true, there's a whole lot of walking to do.  
     And you're cool, and I'm cool,  
     And it's true, there's a whole lot of walking to do.

They recovered well from the hiccup and Suga gave them a lot of credit for it. Hinata pointed to Kageyama, and then everyone in the room as he sang. Suga clapped along with the beat and Hinata beamed into the mic, so Daichi, Asahi, and Yamaguchi clapped along as well. 

     There's no fuss and I trust,  
     I trust you, there's a whole lot of walking to do.  
     And you're strong, and I can be too;  
     There's a whole lot of walking to do!

Kageyama had something of a smile on his face when he watched Hinata sing. Suga clasped his hands over his mouth and bounced his legs. The song wound down with Hinata’s breathy, agile voice. 

     And you do, and I do,  
     There's a whole lot of walking to do!

The music ended exactly in time with the last word. The room was silent for half a second before Noya shot up and shook Hinata violently. 

“Yeah Tsukki!” Yamaguchi whooped. 

Asahi, Daichi, and Suga just sat on the couch, dumbfounded. When Noya had moved on to giving Tanaka the noogie of a lifetime, Hinata and Kageyama ran over to Daichi and stood in front of him. Kageyama’s guitar hung off his shoulder. 

“Did you like it?” Kageyama asked seriously.

“Can we be in your band? Please?” Hinata pleaded. 

Suga was speechless, so Daichi took control. 

“You’re in,” Daichi confirmed. “Tsukishima, we’d love to have you, too. It’ll give Noya a chance to focus on tuning and tech. And Yamaguchi, too.”

“I suppose I’ll play. Yamaguchi?” Tsukishima asked his friend.

“Yes!” Yamaguchi clasped his hands. Hinata ran over to him to gush about the song. 

While everyone congratulated each other, Suga remained on the couch. He hugged himself and soaked up the unbridled joy that emanated from each person in the room. 

“Suga?”

He looked up at Daichi, who had his hand out to help him up. Suga took it and let Daichi lift him off the couch.

Daichi lowered his hand but didn’t let go of Suga’s. “These guys don’t seem to realize that band practice means playing more than one song. Were you working on anything this week?”

Suga thought back to the lyrics he wrote in the low light of his room and contrasted them to Hinata and Kageyama’s anthem of hope. The last thing Suga wanted was to hold them back.

“Nope! We should see what else Kageyama and Hinata have to share. Or work on fine-tuning our other stuff.”

Daichi looked Suga like he didn’t believe him. “Only if you’re sure?”

Suga looked at the man holding his hand.

“Definitely. Let’s have them play it for us again, but this time you and Asahi join in! Noya, Yamaguchi, and I will look for areas to improve. And maybe, just maybe, we can go easy today and let them celebrate before you crack the whip.”

“Maybe just this once, for you,” Daichi said with a smile and pulled Suga toward the rest of the group.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is "Walking to do" by Ted Leo and the Pharmacists. Listen to it here and tell me you don't see Hinata bouncing like a maniac while singing this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KH2gWmNu4k. I might've cut out a couple verses, which is sort of lazy on my part but..... well, I did it. 
> 
> Also, I am OBSESSED with punk Yamaguchi and I freaking love the idea of him and Tsukki looking so different but loving each other so completely and honestly. 
> 
> I know I say it every time, but I can't stress enough how much your comments and kudos mean to me. I definitely keep them in my head as a happy place to retreat when life gets crazy. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and will stay tuned for next week. 
> 
> I'm on tumblr, @jellyryans, but my blog is just one hot mess of fandoms. Mostly Haikyuu!!, but still. A hot mess. 
> 
> Wow, I am rambling today. I have a big thing this weekend that'll put me out for a bit, so next update might be the week after next. I might also go through the old chapters and fix all my heinous mistakes and glaring inconsistencies. Oops. You guys are saints for sticking with me.
> 
> Finally done. Thank you for reading!!!!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suga makes a decision, follows through on it, and comes face to face with the consequences of his own actions.

“This again,” Suga whispered to the reflection in the mirror. 

He stood in front of the bathroom mirror in Asahi’s apartment, like he had the year before, and examined his reflection. He ran his hands over the lines on his face looked at his face and through his hair, which he had let grow, and figured he would have to get his hair trimmed before meeting up with his client later that week.

He swallowed the knot in his throat and felt his abs through his shirt. He was still on the slim side but had put on a couple pounds that winter. He pinched the little bit of extra skin above his hip bones and remembered the reaction he got when he told Daichi about the extra pounds. Daichi had scoffed and looked at him in utter disbelief. Suga smiled despite himself. 

He moved his hands down his shirt and onto his backside. He turned in the mirror to get a better view. The pants he had on made his ass look great; the first time he wore them to band practice, Daichi had to keep excusing himself from the room, no matter where they were in practice. Noya and Tanaka had burst into laughter each time and Suga had to physically restrain Daichi from knocking them both into a wall.

Suga took one last look. The last time he was here, the only thing he could think about was how old he had looked and how awful it felt and, now, he was surprised to see that the face in the mirror reflected happy memories. He felt better about himself because he loved and let himself be loved. He felt a wave of guilt wash over him and threaten to tear at the happy memories that had been woven into his skin.

“Hey Suga, the water’s boiling! Do you want me to throw the noodles in?” Asahi yelled from the kitchen. 

“Coming!” Suga yelled back through the closed door. He took one last look at himself and left to finish dinner for Asahi.

“So, what’re you going to do?” Asahi asked with a mouth full of pasta.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, you brute,” Suga scolded. “I think Noya’s rubbing off on you, or rubbing on you? I don’t know, you haven’t told me anything...” 

Asahi almost spit out his food and Suga laughed. He held his hands in the air to feign innocence and Asahi glared at him.

“Anyway, I have something to cover this month. You don’t have to worry about me,” he replied and took a bite of his food. 

“You already found another job? That’s great!” Asahi said excitedly. 

Suga cringed. Asahi’s smile fell and vexation crept into his expression. “Do you mean…”

Suga nodded in the affirmative. They ate in silence for a couple minutes before Asahi found the words he wanted. “But I thought you didn’t want to go back?”

Suga looked down at his fork and played with his food. He didn’t know how to respond, so he let Asahi sustain the conversation. 

“But you could find something else now, right? With your job experience? Or work at the café while you try to find something? Suga?”

It was hard to look his friend in the eye but it was even harder not to when Asahi’s voice sounded so desperate. “I’ll keep looking for something else, but I need work in the meantime to keep my apartment, and…” Suga didn’t want to mention how much it cost to keep Hinata and Kageyama fed, or that he would gladly pay any price to keep his space, a space where his friends felt at home, “I’m not sure I have another choice at the moment.”

He tried to keep it light to avoid upsetting Asahi, but it was a fruitless effort. His brow creased with apprehension and he started to tap his foot.

“Suga, you know I’ll support you no matter what, but I thought you got out of it because you didn’t want to do it anymore?” 

Suga shook his head. “I didn’t, I don’t, but it’s what I know. What else am I supposed to do?”

“I wouldn’t mind lending you some money, or Daichi-”

“That’s not an option,” Suga cut Asahi off a little more forcefully than he intended. Asahi sat back in his chair.

“Sorry, Asahi, It’s just, I came back here and mooched off of you, and then Daichi somehow got me a job, took my writing seriously, introduced me to his friends, and then what do I do? Lie to him continually AND ask him for money? I don’t think so.”

“You could just tell him. He wants so badly to help, Suga,” Asahi said quietly.

“Things are going so well with the band and everyone is so happy. Who am I to rain on everyone’s parade?” Suga didn’t ask so much as make the statement. He refused to be the one to bring everyone down in a sad attempt to lift himself up. 

“We wouldn’t mind. We care about you and,” Asahi paused, “if this is something you want to do, that’s fine, but it made you miserable for so many years and I just, I don’t want to see you like that again,” Asahi spoke into his plate. 

Suga felt the tears well up behind his eyes and pushed his chair out to go around the table and hug his friend. Suga put his nose in Asahi’s hair and put his arms around his shoulders. 

“What did I ever do to deserve you,” Suga said into his hair. 

Asahi’s shoulders relaxed, “you’re a deserving person.”

Suga hugged Asahi tighter. “I’m a liar. And a coward.”

Asahi pulled away a little so that he could look up at Suga. “You’re braver than you think. And you’re not a liar. Can’t you let us take care of you for once?” 

“You guys have already done so much,” Suga whispered and scrunched his face. 

“Please,” Asahi whispered back.

Suga wished it were that easy. “I… It’ll only be for a little while.”

Asahi nodded. They pulled apart, brought the dishes to the sink, and cleaned the kitchen.

“Aren’t you going to ask me why I’m hiring a male prostitute? Me, of all people?” Oikawa sneered. He leaned toward Suga.

“It’s really none of my business,” Suga replied with a straight face and polished smile. 

They sat in large, plush recliners in a secluded lounge in a hotel two towns over. They had agreed on the location the day before.

“Hmpf. Yahaba was right, you are quite the professional,” he crossed his long legs and bounced his foot. “Though I do hope you loosen up a bit, Mr. Refreshing. I might have a lot of money, but I would hate to waste it,” he finished with a wink. 

Suga suppressed the urge to throw his phone at Oikawa’s perfectly manufactured face and held it up instead. Their contract was on the screen. “I’m good at what I do, but, if there’s an issue that we haven’t covered already, we can discuss it in detail,” Suga answered with practiced politeness. “I’m not a huge fan of wasting my time, either.” 

Oikawa clapped his hands together and laughed as he fell back into the lounge chair. Suga tried to finish up the notes in his phone and reread the contract once more for anything they might have missed. When he looked up, Oikawa was staring into his own phone and smiling like a kid who got the biggest brownie at lunchtime. He noticed that Suga finished up and leaned close to him in order to show him the picture on the screen. He grinned at Suga as he looked at the picture.

Suga recognized the people in the picture. Iwaizumi was seated at a table and the band’s drummer, Kyoutani, was across from him. They were holding hands? No, Iwaizumi’s muscles bulged in his forearms and Kyoutani’s face was red from exertion. 

“They were arm wrestling and Iwa-chan beat Mad Dog-chan AGAIN,” Oikawa narrated.

“Oh, good for him,” Suga nodded. He started to gather his things so that Oikawa would get the hint. Suga looked at the time and worried that he wouldn’t be able to make it back in time to meet Hinata and Kageyama at his apartment. Oikawa got the hint, but he didn’t move. 

“I didn’t realize we were done talking, so RUDE, Sugawara,” he huffed, still seated like a king surveying his kingdom. “As much as I love showing Iwa-chan’s muscles off to everyone I meet, I showed you that picture because Mad Dog was in it. You know, he’s the one that’s involved with Yahaba.”

Suga vaguely remembered the other voice on the end of the phone when he first reconnected with Yahaba the year before. He felt himself starting to gag.

“It’s how you and I got together, but you knew that already. Yahaba is practically a member of the group at this point and we look out for each other,” Oikawa spoke with authority, but the edge in his voice betrayed something else. Was he afraid? Suga didn’t know what to say, so he kept quiet and waited for Oikawa.

“This” Oikawa motioned between them with a wave of his hand, “cannot, under any circumstances, be mentioned outside of our,” Oikawa paused, “time together.”

Suga pointed to his phone again. “Agreed. We already set out terms in the contract that both of us signed.”

“Right,” Oikawa nodded. He searched Suga’s face. “Did Yahaba tell you why he put us in touch?”

“I assume it had something to do with proximity and discretion,” Suga didn’t want to bring up any of their discussions in detail.

“Hm. Yahaba said you were a good one. And that you seemed to genuinely care about your clients. And that you had a fantastic mouth. And something about how you took di-”

“Oikawa, please. That’s enough.” Suga interrupted. He wasn’t about to listen to this while he was off the clock. 

Oikawa looked scandalized, and then the realization dawned on him. “I see. Shall we move to a more secluded location? You go. I’ll be up in thirty minutes.”

Suga gathered his things and went up to the room. He set everything down and looked out the window for a fleeting second before he closed the curtains and moved to the bathroom. He heard Oikawa enter the room.

Exactly one hour later, Oikawa sat by the same window Suga peeked out of earlier, but the window was open and the curtains pushed aside. He was clad only in a towel and, despite the activities of the previous hour, his hair looked immaculate. He had a cigarette lit between his fingers, but he didn’t seem interested smoking it. Instead, he watched the smoke curl out of the window and dissipate into the sky. 

When Suga came out of the bathroom, Oikawa looked over and pointed to the cigarettes. 

“Smoke after sex?” he asked. 

“No, thank you though.”

Oikawa shrugged and moved back to staring out of the window. He looked like a completely different person from the one he saw on stage all those months ago, and even from the person he sat across from in the lobby earlier. Suga had noticed it during their session, too. His body reacted to the pleasure but his eyes didn’t. He wasn’t sure what prompted him to continue the conversation, but he felt the desperate need to reach out. 

“Doesn’t smoking affect your voice?” Suga asked.

Oikawa’s head jerked in surprise and he snubbed out the cigarette before he turned to face Suga. “Concerned for my well-being, Mr. Refreshing? Sweet, but we’re done. Unless you charge for false concern?”

Suga rolled his eyes and laughed. “The concern is free of charge. I’m finished here, so I’ll get going,” Suga paused to gauge the situation. It was a risk, and totally unprofessional, but something in Oikawa’s voice urged him forward, “unless you want me to stay?”

He raised his eyebrow and gave Suga a once over with a disbelieving look. “That isn’t usually how this goes.”

It wasn’t a no, so Suga sat down on the edge of the bed and patted the area next to him. “This is kind of an odd situation to begin with, so take it or leave it.” 

Oikawa was seated next to Suga with his head on his shoulder and Suga rubbed his back in silence until a phone vibrated across the room. They got up and looked for their respective phones. Suga found his work phone with no new message, so he looked for his personal phone, which, to his dismay, he couldn’t find. He glanced at the clock on his work phone and yelped. He grabbed his belongings and got Oikawa’s attention, which was a difficult task. 

“I’m sorry, but I have to go. Did you want to schedule another session?” 

Oikawa looked up from his phone. Suga couldn’t be sure, but he looked panicked. He looked back down at his phone and scrolled on the screen. Suga started to get antsy. 

“Do you just want to let me know?” Suga asked in a more urgent tone.

Finally, Oikawa looked pleased. Almost like something clicked inside of him and he was back to the man he was in public. “I’ll have to think over whether or not you’re worth the cash,” he blew Suga a kiss and laughed. 

Suga just nodded and ran out the door. He didn’t have time to deal with Oikawa’s ribbing. 

A train and two buses later, Suga rounded the corner to his apartment in a full sprint, but, instead of the usual duo, he saw a brown mess of hair on his doorstep. 

“Daichi?” Suga panted. He tried his best to wipe the sweat off his forehead and smooth his hair. 

Daichi shot up off the stairs and grabbed Suga’s shoulders. His eyes were frantic. 

“Suga! Jesus! You’re here!”

The panic in Daichi’s expression made Suga’s stomach lurch, the same way it did when they got the call from Tanaka about the fire. “I know, I’m late, I’m so sorry… Where are Kageyama and Hinata? Are they okay? What’s going on?”

“They’re fine, Suga, we were worried about YOU. Hinata and Kageyama called me and said that you were late and that they couldn’t get a hold of you. Asahi didn’t know where you were, either, and he got upset, so I picked up Hinata and Kageyama, drove them to my house, and then came back to wait for you.” Daichi kept hold of Suga’s arms but loosened his grip. He let his head fall forward onto Suga’s shoulder and let out a long breath. “You’re okay.”

Suga was at a loss. “I’m so sorry, Daichi, I forgot my phone at home and I, well, I feel like a jerk.”

Daichi pulled his head up and rubbed circles on Suga’s back. “Aw, Suga, you’re nothing of the sort. Just remember your damn phone next time! Where were you anyway?”

“Just boring job search stuff,” Suga answered quickly. 

“Oh! Great! Any luck?”

The way Daichi looked at him made his heart race. He needed to change the subject, fast. “Sort of! Um, do you want to come in?”

They walked up the stairs and Suga felt Daichi’s hand on the back of his shirt like he was afraid to let go. He took deep breaths to calm his pounding heart. 

Once they were inside, Daichi ordered take-out and Suga ran to the bathroom to check for marks. He found none. He took a little extra time to compose himself and joined Daichi in his living room.

“So, I got some news from Ukai today,” Daichi said with a nonchalant shrug.

“Oh?” Suga asked in between mouthfuls of rice straight from the take-out container. 

He looked like a five year old tasked with a secret that he desperately wanted to spill. “How would you feel about, oh, I don’t know, playing a gig there?”

Suga dropped the container he held and mouthed “no.”

“Yes! We’d be the main act. For a full set. On a stage.”

Suga jumped across the table and wrapped his arms around Daichi’s neck. He squeezed until he heard Daichi cough. “That’s freaking amazing! Yes! Wow! When?!”

“I haven’t told the guys yet,” Daichi rubbed the back of his neck, “ah, the show would be in two weeks. Two weeks from today.”

“You think Hinata and Kageyama will be ready for a show that soon?” Suga asked. 

“You tell me,” Daichi asked seriously. 

“They’ve certainly got the energy and motivation to practice. And the talent to pull it off. I guess we’ll just have to see!”

Daichi seemed pleased with Suga’s answer. “Awesome. I’ll round up the gang and get them to practice as much as possible. Noya and Tanaka have their housewarming party the weekend before the show, but that might be good. Give them a chance to let out all of their… excess energy.”

They shared a laugh and Suga cleared the containers from the table. 

“It’s getting kind of late,” Suga mentioned when he saw the time. It was a weeknight, after all.

“Yeah,” Daichi said quietly. “Work sucks without you.”

The words stung, but he laughed to try to lift Daichi’s spirits. “So you’ve said. Oh! You should hold volunteer receptionist auditions. Must be willing to talk to belligerent salespeople on the phone. Must know to knock on the door to the supply closet before getting printer paper,” Suga laughed and plopped down next to Daichi on the couch. 

Daichi hummed and looked at Suga. “We’ll have to put something about appearance on there too, if we’re going to really replace you.”

“Will you now? Let’s see. Non-profit seeing new volunteer receptionist. Candidate must be male, 5 feet 9 inches…”

Daichi let out a loud laugh, “Now you’re 5’9”, huh? Pretty sure you came in just under...”

“You want to start, Daichi? You who say you’re a whooping 5’10” when I believe you were more than a couple hairs shorter,” Suga poked Daichi repeatedly in the side, which made them both laugh. 

When the giggling subsided, Daichi added, “You forgot a couple things for our new receptionist.”

Suga yawned. “Did I?”

Daichi hummed. “Mhm. You forgot warm eyes, a bright smile, a perfect mark right below the left eye,” he put his hand on Suga’s cheek and ran his thumb over the mark. 

Suga’s voice caught in his throat and all that came out was a shaky exhale. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t happen. 

“Yup, and silky hair like starlight that just begs to be touched,” Daichi added and pushed Suga’s bangs out of his face and tucked them behind his ear with his other hand. 

Suga tried to pull away, he really did, but Daichi’s hands cupped his face so softly and his hands fit perfectly against his skin. Daichi looked all over Suga’s face before he met his eyes.

“Sugawara Koushi,” Daichi murmured.

“Sawamura Daichi,” Suga murmured back.

“I’m in love with you.”

Daichi closed the distance between them and took Suga’s bottom lip between his own. Suga swung his leg over Daichi’s lap and kneeled with one knee on either side of Daichi’s hips. He leaned in to return the kiss and Daichi lost it. 

“Suga, Koushi,” he cooed between kisses, “I’m so lucky, god,” he trailed kisses all over Suga’s face and moved down his neck. 

Suga let his head fall back, but, as soon as he closed his eyes, Oikawa’s face flashed behind his eyelids. He closed his eyes tighter to try to stop the tears from falling. 

He tensed and pulled away from Daichi, who stared at him dumbfounded, his lips red and cheeks flushed. At least I got to see him like this once, Suga thought to himself as he lifted his leg and pulled away from the man he loved.

“Daichi, I - I can’t do this,” he said softly. 

Daichi stared in front of him and slowly turned to look at Suga. His mouth was set in a thin line and his face was calm, but his eyes were wide with confusion and fear. He moved further away from Suga, but decided that wasn’t far enough. He got up off the couch and paced back and forth before he stopped in front of Suga. He kneeled down and grabbed Suga’s hands.

“Are you okay? I’m sorry, I sort of lost control for a minute.”

Suga nodded and tried to motion that it was okay, but the tears rolled freely down his cheeks and he felt himself burn with self-loathing. “It’s fine, you’re fine.”

“It’s not fine, Suga, please, are you okay?”

“Yes. Don’t be sorry. Please, don’t be sorry, it’s my fault,” Suga croaked, “it’s all my fault. I’m sorry. It’s me,” Suga motioned down to his body, “I’m not, you wouldn’t,” Suga choked on a sob, “you don’t know me.”

Daichi rubbed his thumbs over Suga’s hands and rubbed the tears off Suga’s face. “Suga, I love you. I mean it. You can tell me anything, everything.”

This is the moment, Suga thought. He had the chance to set everything straight, to be honest with the man that loved him and to move forward. To love him back. Asahi told him to trust them. Yaku told Lev and they were happy. It was so easy. 

“I can’t,” Suga swallowed and sat up straight. He took his hands from Daichi’s and rubbed his face. He was never good enough for Daichi, not from day one, not now, not ever. 

“Okay,” Daichi smiled despite the tear-stained cheeks. “Suga, do you need me to stay? Or do you want me to go?”

Suga cleared his throat and got up from the couch. He wrapped his arms around Daichi’s neck and hugged him.

“I think I need some time,” Suga said into Daichi’s neck. “Did I ruin everything?”

Daichi moved back to look him in the eye. “Suga, no, I’m the one who… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make things awkward.”

“No, don’t be sorry, don’t ever be sorry. Please tell me we’re still friends?” Suga implored. 

“Of course. We’re in this together, remember?” Daichi smiled the best he could and let go of Suga’s hand. He put on his shoes, opened the door, and paused in the doorway. “See you in a couple days for band practice?”

“If you’ll have me,” Suga asked in a small voice.

“You never have to ask,” Daichi did his best to reassure him, but his every word and every gesture was drenched in heartache. “See you in a few days. And, Suga, and if you want to talk. I’ll listen.” 

Suga watched Daichi leave his apartment. He barely made it to the couch before he collapsed under his own weight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crap, you guys. 
> 
> Next week, Daichi POV and more music. Sad music, but good music. 
> 
> Thank you all for your support and kindness and enthusiasm and comments and kudos and just, wow. I love it all. Justin Bieber said it best - so blessed. so moved. so grateful. cant believe this is my life. never going to take it for granted. always going to give back. thank you.
> 
> I forgot to add this to the original chapter post, but there was an interesting article in the NY Times Magazine about sex work. Here's the URL: http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/08/magazine/should-prostitution-be-a-crime.html


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noya and Tanaka throw their housewarming party and Daichi is suprised by a new song and a confession.

    I fell in love, in love with you suddenly  
    Now there’s no place else I could be but here in your arms

Daichi hummed with the song and tapped on the steering wheel. He smiled despite himself as he remembered the night he held Suga close for the very first time; he would’ve never guessed that Oikawa’s silvery voice would elicit such a fond memory.

He remembered holding Suga’s hips that night and feeling his fingers run through the back of his hair. His smile turned into a grimace as that memory faded. One minute, his hands were on Suga’s hips. The next, he was watching Suga cry.

It happened, right? He had held Suga in his arms, felt his weight on his lap, and tasted the warmth of his lips. He had spent so many months, if not years, yearning for that moment. He confessed his feelings, they kissed, and then what?

The turn signal of his car clicked in the background and he turned on to the next street. Suga’s words ravaged his mind. He said he couldn’t, that he didn’t know him, that something was wrong? That he needed time? 

Daichi gripped the wheel with white knuckles.

Suga didn’t outright refuse his feelings, but something held him back. Daichi’s stomach flipped and anxiety flooded his system. He wanted to think that it wasn’t him, but maybe it was. What else could it be?

The next day, things were normal, like his botched confession had never happened. They texted back and forth to make plans for band practice and the guys just about exploded when Daichi and Suga told the group about the upcoming show. Hinata hugged Suga and Daichi so tight that they couldn’t breathe. Kageyama didn’t know what to do with himself. Even Tsukishima pretended to be pleased by the news. 

Suga smiled and hugged back and did everything right, but his smile vanished and his eyes dulled as soon as he thought no one was watching. 

He thought about it all week at work and he tried his best to ignore the gnawing in his gut when he looked at the empty reception desk, or the pictures of them he put up next to his computer, or when heard Kuroo snark at Daishou about copy paper. At one point, Ennoshita took him aside and told him to either focus or take the week off. Ennoshita’s rare flash of assertiveness guided him through the rest of the week, but it wasn’t easy. 

Daichi tried to read the street signs that passed. He didn’t want to push Suga into a conversation that he wasn’t prepared to have, but the not-knowing was awful. Did Suga return his feelings? Was it really him or was something wrong? And, most importantly, how could he make it better for Suga?

Even if Suga never returned his feelings, Daichi loved him, utterly and completely and forever, and he couldn’t bear the thought not being able to be there for him if he needed it. When Daichi asked Asahi if there was anything he could do to ease Suga’s burden, Asahi just about wet himself. He assumed it was a sore spot and let it go.

Noya and Tanaka’s new place came into view and he pulled into the driveway. It was a little early, and Suga told him that everything would be taken care of so he wouldn’t have to go out of his way, but the emptiness of his own home was oppressive and he needed to get out.

He raised his hand to knock and Noya swung the door open with a big grin on his face. 

“Daichi! You didn’t have to come so early!”

“Hello Daichi, thanks for coming!” Daichi said sarcastically. 

Noya laughed brightly and Tanaka poked his head around the door, right above Noya’s shoulder. “Welcome to our humble abode, captain! Asahi and the guys are finishing up in the kitchen, so we’ll go say ‘hi’ and then give you the grand tour. Sound good?”

“Sounds great,” Daichi nodded. They turned to go into the house and Daichi slapped them both on the back as he followed them to the kitchen. He would never admit it for fear of it going straight to their heads, but he missed having them around.

“Hey Daichi,” Asahi waved from the kitchen counter. He grabbed bowls from the higher cabinets for Kinoshita and Narita, who were emptying bags of chips and sweets into each bowl.

“You guys are saints,” Daichi said to Kinoshita and Narita when he introduced himself.

“Eh,” Kinoshita nodded, “It’s kinda fun. Our schedules actually line up perfectly, so things have been great.”

“Yeah, and the basement keeps the noise down. Well, most of it. At least they’re somewhat talented,” Narita agreed. 

Tanaka downright swooned and Noya fluttered his eyelashes. Once the introductions were made, they left the kitchen and led Daichi through their new house, pointing out the bedrooms, the bathrooms, the basement, and whatever random furnishing or piece of flair caught their eye. Daichi was impressed; it was way cleaner than he expected.

“I gotta say, Kinoshita and Narita must be good for you guys. This place is spotless.”

Tanaka looked to Noya, they locked eyes, and then Noya turned to Daichi. 

“Suga might’ve helped us clean when he came over yesterday.”

“He said something about not embarrassing ourselves in front of everyone we care about,” Tanaka added with a shrug.

“You made him clean your house? I thought he was just over to help you with food? How long was he here?” 

Tanaka continued. “We didn’t really plan it, and we tried to stop him, honestly. But he wouldn’t have any of it. Once we cleaned, he made us dinner. We made a day of it. Suga didn’t mind.” 

“He also said something about helping us because he knew that you would run us ragged with extra practices before the show next weekend,” Noya added.

“It was the ‘least he could do’,” Tanaka said with air quotes. 

Daichi rolled his eyes. “You’re damn right I’m going to have you doing extra practice this week,” he mumbled. He frowned. When he had asked Suga about party prep, he had told him not to worry. He felt like a jerk for not pushing the matter further. Suga shouldn’t have had to do that by himself.

Tanaka misread the apprehension in Daichi’s expression and nudged him in the ribs, “I know you miss ‘im, loverboy.”

Before he had the chance to whack Tanaka over the head, the doorbell rang. 

Noya jumped in the air. “Our guests! Tanaka! Welcoming duty!”

“Aye-aye, my dude! Let’s DO this!”

They scampered to the door and Daichi wandered back to the kitchen to see if he could be of some use. Asahi welcomed the help and asked him to start taking platters out of the fridge. Daichi opened the fridge and his jaw dropped.

Suga always made sure to prepare enough food for whoever he was feeding, but even he had gone a little overboard. Everything from onigiri to tiny sandwiches to chopped vegetables had been meticulously arranged on platters stuffed and stacked in the fridge. There were notes taped to some of the trays and Daichi read every single word written in Suga’s scrawling script as he removed them.

Daichi spotted a tray of curry dumplings in the back of the fridge and, without thinking, reached to steal one before the party started. When he pulled the platter closer to read Suga’s note, he snorted.

Daichi, please do not eat until ALL guests arrive. Don’t think I won’t find out. My spies are everywhere.

There was a little winky face at the end of warning and he couldn’t help but fall in love with Suga all over again. He put the tray on the table without touching a single dumpling.

Guests arrived with greater frequency now that the party had officially started and Daichi left the confines of the kitchen. He had just reached the living room when he ran right into his assistant. 

“Ennoshita! What’re you doing here?”

Ennoshita gulped. “Oh, hey Daichi. Funny running into you here. Um, Narita and Kinoshita are friends of mine from way back. We went to school together,” he waved to Noya and Tanaka’s roommates and they returned the gesture.

“It’s a small world, huh? Try to enjoy yourself tonight. I know you had a rough week of trying to keep your boss in line,” Daichi smiled. 

“Okay, will do Daichi. Thanks,” Ennoshita laughed nervously. 

Ennoshita left and moved toward Narita and Kinoshita in order to meet Noya and Tanaka. Daichi watched the five of them interact and he relaxed. You could say a lot about Noya and Tanaka but they were nothing if not outgoing and, in most situations, friendly and welcoming. Ennoshita would be fine. Better than fine. Daichi wondered if Ennoshita might be the only other person who could keep them in line.

The house filled up with people and Daichi scanned the open plan of the main floor. He thought he saw a flash of ashen hair, so he tried to make his way across the living room. Suga told him he wouldn’t be able to come to the party, and he knew that Suga kept his word, but his heart leapt regardless. His mind was so one-tracked that he didn’t see the person in front of him until he bumped right into her.

“Ah! Daichi! Sorry!”

He reached out his hands to steady the familiar figure in front of him. “Yachi, I’m sorry! I just thought I saw…” Daichi looked around the room and found who he thought might’ve been Suga. His mind played a dirty trick on him.

“I don’t mind, it’s okay!” She chirped happily. 

Yachi’s voice brought him back to the moment and he addressed. “I’m glad to see you, Yachi. It’s not often that I get to hang out with you outside of work! Did you see that Ennoshita is here? I didn’t realize he knew Narita and Kinoshita, the other guys that live here. You should go say ‘hi,’ I’m sure he’ll appreciate another familiar face!”

She smiled and nodded energetically. Her bracelets clicked as she put her hair behind her ear and Daichi couldn’t help notice how particularly beautiful she looked. She wore a short red dress with material that floated around her. The red was broken up by light blue stars swirled around her body. Maybe she was on a date - 

“She looks beautiful, doesn’t she?” 

Kiyoko moved from behind Daichi to Yachi’s side and handed her one of the two drinks in her hands. Her simple, navy blue dress hugged each curve of her body and Daichi let his jaw drop.

“You both look incredible,” Daichi agreed. 

Yachi yelped when Kiyoko slid her free hand into hers, which made them both blush. Yachi looked up at her and tried unsuccessfully to hide the smile that threatened to take over her face. Kiyoko had no such reservation and absolutely glowed. 

“Thank you Daichi. Is Suga coming tonight? I don’t think I’ve seen him yet,” Kiyoko asked. She didn’t break eye contact and Daichi’s throat parched.

“Ah, no, he’s not,” he croaked.

“Oh?” Kiyoko adjusted her glasses and cocked her head. “But, he had been talking about this party all week?”

Daichi shifted his weight. “He said something came up.”

“It must have been pretty important if it kept him away from you for the evening,” Kiyoko mused with a sly smile.

“I don’t know,” Daichi sputtered. He really didn’t.

The three of them stood in silence as the crowd murmured around them. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but Noya and Tanaka’s boisterous shouts were not entirely unwelcome. 

They ran over to ooh and ahh over Kiyoko’s choice of dress and greet Yachi with aggressive high fives. Daichi remembered the first time it happened, months earlier. Suga had to physically grab the collars of their shirts before they reached her and scared her half to death. He knew that Yachi needed time to get used to new people and he knew that Noya and Tanaka needed to be reminded of other people’s boundaries.

Daichi rubbed his forehead. Suga knew them all so well and loved them so completely, but did he ever really let them love him back? The sudden guilt almost took his breath away. He would never force Suga to return his feelings romantically, but he was afraid that Suga didn’t know how much he meant to them. How had this never occurred to him before? He opened a message on his phone.

To: Suga  
The house looks great and the food is amazing - I didn’t eat any of the dumplings, I swear! Yachi and Kiyoko were just looking for you. We wish you were here. Hope you’re having a good night!

He sent the message and instantly regretted it. Three sentences to thank him for all he did, all he was, and how much they all loved him? How much he loved him? How lame could one person be? How could Suga return his feelings?

Something crashed in the dining room and Hinata howled with laughter. Hinata and Kageyama had been relatively quiet up until this point, and Daichi had been lulled him into a false sense of security. He got up to see what had happened. Suga did so much work to ensure the success of this party and, even if he couldn’t do anything else, Daichi would be damned if his efforts went to waste. 

Daichi spent the next few hours running around, picking up furniture, catching bowls, and trying to his best to curb the general mayhem. At one point, Hinata had somehow convinced Tanaka to try to pierce his ear, so he had to separate the two of them, only to then separate Hinata from Kageyama, who had screamed at him when he found out what they had planned to do. Almost as soon as Kageyama and Hinata had made up, he heard Asahi whimpering and had to pull Noya from his back with brute force. 

After what felt like an eternity, the party began to wind down. Daichi took a headcount of his group, but didn’t see Hinata and Kageyama, so he wandered around just to make sure they hadn’t gotten in any serious trouble. Daichi went up the stairs and heard strumming from one of the rooms. He paused outside of the door to listen. 

Kageyama was definitely playing, Daichi recognized his self-assured, technical style. There was a giddy cheer. Hinata. He leaned against the wall and the fatigue of the evening caught up to him. He lowered himself to the ground next to the door, hidden from view.

“Let’s play it all the way through! Maybe we can play it at the show next weekend.”

“Don’t be an idiot. We don’t know if we can. And it’s too soon. We’re not done with it!” 

Fabric rustled from inside the room.

“Ow! Don’t grab my face like that! And I mean it! Can we do it just one more time tonight? It’s so good, Kageyama.”

“Fine,” he grumbled. 

Daichi could almost hear Kageyama’s scowl through the wall. Hinata cleared his throat and Kageyama started to play. Kageyama’s chords welcomed Hinata’s voice and Daichi closed his eyes.

    If you knew that you would die today,  
    If you saw the face of God and love,  
    Would you change?  
    Would you change?

Hinata paused after the first repetition of his question and the little riff that Kageyama had inserted into the introductory chords rounded out the second. Their teamwork was incredible, he had to give them that.

    If you knew that love can break your heart,  
    When you're down so low you cannot fall,  
    Would you change?  
    Would you change?

Their dynamic was so different from the fierce competitiveness and boundless energy that usually defined both their friendship and musical partnership. The lyrics were beautiful in their simplicity and haunting in their ambiguity. A cold shiver ran down Daichi’s spine.

    How bad, how good, does it need to get?  
    How many losses, how much regret?  
    What chain reaction, what cause and effect,  
    Makes you turn around, makes you try to explain,  
    Makes you forgive and forget,  
    Makes you change?  
    Makes you change?

Kageyama picked up the pace and Daichi sat up a little straighter.

    If you knew that you would be alone,  
    Knowing right being wrong,  
    Would you change?  
    Would you change?

Did Hinata really write these words? His voice had a new sense of urgency and all of the pain, loneliness, and longing that Daichi had desperately tried to suppress bubbled up to the surface. 

    If you knew that you would find a truth  
    That brings a pain that can't be soothed,  
    Would you change?  
    Would you change?

Daichi clenched his fists and he fought the urge to get up and make them stop. His inaction and self-doubt pressed on him until he was short of breath. Suga’s tears threatened to drown him.

    How bad, how good does it need to get?  
    How many losses, how much regret?  
    What chain reaction, what cause and effect  
    Makes you turn around, makes you try to explain,  
    Makes you forgive and forget,  
    Makes you change?  
    Makes you change?

How could Hinata wrap his voice around Daichi’s heart like this and squeeze until his blood ran cold?

    Are you so upright you can't be bent, if it comes to blows?  
    Are you so sure you won't be crawling?  
    If not for the good, why risk falling? Why risk falling?  
    If everything you think you know makes your life unbearable,  
    Would you change?  
    Would you change?

Kageyama missed a chord and Daichi opened his eyes. It wasn’t like Kageyama to miss a note. Daichi wiped his eyes and conjured Suga’s face, his smile, his laugh. Why risk falling? Hah. You only had to be around Suga for ten minutes to understand. 

    If you'd broken every rule and vow,  
    And hard times come to bring you down,  
    Would you change?  
    Would you change?  
    If you knew that you would die today,  
    If you saw the face of God and love,  
    Would you change?

The song wound down and Daichi let out a shaky breath. He relaxed against the wall.

He might be sad, hurt, and broken, but, even if Suga never returned his feelings, he wouldn’t change any of it. The part of him that was in love with Suga would be the part that kept him moving forward, that allowed him to hope, to grow. He trusted they would work out. That they would do it together. 

“Bakageyama, are you crying?!” Hinata squealed once the song was over.

Kageyama sniffed. “Your voice was so off key that it MADE me cry.” 

“My voice was perfect! You’re the one that screwed up halfway through!”

“S-shut up! Don’t be such a dumbass.”

Daichi heard one of them get up. 

“Yamaguchi just texted me to say that him and Tsukishima were leaving soon, so I’m going to go hang out with them for a little. Wanna come?”

“I don’t have to go everywhere with you,” Kageyama said coolly. 

“I know that! Don’t be such a drama queen. Just come find me when you want, kay?”

Hinata bounded out of the room and ran down the stairs without noticing Daichi on the ground next to the door. He watched Hinata go and turned to look up at Kageyama, who had stepped into the door frame. 

Daichi had expected Kageyama to just nod and be on his way, but, instead, he sat down next to him against the wall. It was quiet. Daichi looked at his face and was surprised to see that it was bright red.

“You okay, Kageyama? You look like you’re about to combust.”

Kageyama nodded. Daichi was just about to ask about the song when Kageyama blurted out “I like him.”

“What?” Daichi asked. He wasn’t sure if he heard him right.

“What?” Kageyama repeated, like he was surprised by his own words. Daichi glared. He wasn’t in the mood for games. 

“I like him,” Kageyama said again, this time with more conviction.

Crap. Daichi shifted. If this past week and a half had confirmed anything, it was that he sucked at this kind of stuff. Kageyama, undeterred by Daichi’s silence, continued talking.

“It’s like I can’t even remember my life before Hinata. Or maybe it’s that I don’t want to. I can’t tell,” he admitted.

“You guys barely know each other.”

Kageyama glowered and Daichi just laughed. 

“He’s just,” Kageyama held his hands in front of him like he was trying to hold something too big for his arms, “so much. Like he’s the center of something amazing and I’m circling him to get where he’s going.”

Daichi knew this feeling well. He had struggled to find the word for weeks and, now, finally, it was at the tip of his tongue. 

“Satellite,” Daichi said softly. 

Kageyama’s eyes widened for a second. “Yeah,” he whispered.

“Are you guys…” Daichi trailed off. He didn’t know what he was trying to ask.

“Hm?” 

“Ah, nevermind. It’s nothing.”

Kageyama swallowed hard. “It’s not nothing. I want to be. With him, I mean. I want us to play together for as long as we’re able. Forever. And maybe more. It’s dumb.”

“No,” Daichi said quickly. “It’s not dumb.”

“I don’t even know if he likes guys, or girls, or if he has any interest in anything other than music and being a dumbass. What do I do?” Kageyama asked. 

Daichi almost couldn’t believe the words that were about to come out of his mouth. “If you want to know, you have to talk to him about it.”

“What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”

“Ah, well, you respect his feelings and move on the best you can.”

“Do you not like Suga?”

“What?” Daichi’s head jerked back so far that it hit the wall. He cradled the back of his head and turned to face Kageyama, who stared at him intently.

“He’s been sad lately and it sucks,” Kageyama said bluntly. He wasn’t a chipper person to begin with, but there was an unsettling edge to his words that made Daichi anxious.

“I,” Daichi paused. He hadn’t told anyone about their conversation but he had a feeling that Kageyama wouldn’t scream it from the rooftops. “I love him, Kageyama. I think I’ve loved him for years, in a way.”

Kageyama faced him but his eyes weren’t focused. It looked like he was trying to work out something in his head and only needed a place to rest his eyes. 

“Anyway, I think you should talk it over with Hinata. You don’t have to confess anything or go crazy, but you should at least start talking seriously.”

“Yeah,” Kageyama agreed. His phone buzzed. “That’s Hinata. He says he’s bored.” he huffed. “Thanks, Daichi. And, I don’t have a lot of… experience, but I think Suga loves you, too.”

Daichi bit back a sad smile. “I don’t know about that. Go have fun with Hinata and try not to yell at him, at least for the last bit of the party.”

Kageyama nodded solemnly and left.

The Court played on the speakers downstairs and Daichi wondered how Oikawa and Iwaizumi worked things out between them. It couldn’t hurt to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics at the beginning are from "Here in your arms" by Hellogoodbye. Hinata and Kageyama's song is "Change" by Tracy Chapman (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FodfkqfJrhQ). The warmth and sincerity of her voice makes me think of Hinata. My brain goes strange places and I follow blindly. Also, if you're ever in need of a good cry, Tracy's got your back. 
> 
> Thank you so much for subscribing, taking the time to comment, and giving kudos, especially after the chapter before this. It's hard for me to process just how lucky I am to have you all. Seriously and honestly and I love you and thank you for making me feel like my words are worth the effort.
> 
> Next week: the guys are busy and someone blows it. 
> 
> Thanks again for being wonderful. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	12. Chapter 12

Tanaka squinted at Suga as he put on his shoes. He crossed his arms over his chest.

“There’s something goin’ on.” 

Suga adjusted the bag on his shoulder, turned to face Tanaka, and reached out to rub his head.

“Don’t think too hard now. You might hurt yourself,” Suga said with a laugh. 

“I’m serious!” Tanaka shouted as he wiggled out of Suga’s grasp. “Where’s Daichi again?”

Suga sighed. “For the millionth time, I figured I’d let him off the hook today so he could put all his energy into keeping you two,” he looked down the hallway to see Noya trying to jump on to the counter and slide off of the other side, “in line for practices this week. Lord knows he’s going to need all the help he can get.”

Tanaka rubbed his chin. He wasn’t convinced. “I dunno. It’s weird not seeing the two of you together.” 

Suga rolled his eyes. Tanaka put a hand on each of Suga’s shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. “Did Daichi do something to ya?”

“Daichi and I are fine. YOU, however, need to take a chill pill.” Suga took Tanaka’s hands off his shoulders and brushed off his shirt. “I am my own person, you know,” he said with a cocked eyebrow. 

“I know I know, it’s just that you seem kinda off, and it’s weird for Daichi to just let you do something and not drop everything to help.”

Suga smiled wide but cursed himself for allowing his friends to see right through him. The truth was that Suga was afraid. They had been talking since the confession, but it was mostly logistical and band-related. Suga owed him an explanation, he owed him a thousand explanations, but he wanted to wait until after the show. He didn’t want to jeopardize their success.

“Eh, I’m just tired. And Daichi probably is, too. He does work full time on top of keeping us all together.”

“True true,” Tanaka agreed. Noya joined them at the door with a twinkle in his eye

“I still can’t believe you’re going to miss our party! It’s going to be insane!” 

Suga’s heart ached, but he kept smiling. “You’ll have a thousand more, I’m sure.” 

Noya and Tanaka pouted. It was time for a subject change. 

“Anyway, take tons of pictures for me. I’m sure Kiyoko will look divine tonight on her date.

It was like the heavens opened and illuminated the hallway. They had tears in their eyes

“But, keep in mind, if you mess anything up for her, I WILL find out and Daichi WILL make you practice until your hands bleed,” Suga chirped. 

The light faded from the background and they gulped loudly. Suga put his arms around their necks and pulled them in for a hug. 

“Seriously though. Promise me there will be no fires,” Suga said as he pulled away.

Noya and Tanaka crossed their hearts and swore on their jobs as Kiyoko’s treasured underlings. Suga opened their front door to leave.

“See ya next week for practice!” Noya waved. 

“Yep! Tell Kinoshita and Narita that I wish them the best of luck!” 

“Luck with what?” Tanaka cocked his head.

Suga shook his head with a laugh, waved, and closed the door behind him as he exited the house. 

The next night, while his friends were gathering for Noya and Tanaka’s housewarming party, Suga waited in his living room for a cab. He tried not to think about it as he picked up pieces of scrap paper, pens, notebooks, and guitar picks that Hinata and Kageyama had scattered around his apartment like confetti. 

He picked up a piece of paper and read over the familiar lyrics. Suga let out a long breath and put his face in his hand. 

Hinata had found one of Suga’s more recent lyrics and begged him to let Kageyama write music for them. It didn’t take long for Suga to cave, but, out of all the songs he had written in the past six months, somehow Hinata had found his most personal song yet, written right between his first session with Oikawa and Daichi’s confession. He never meant for anyone to see those lyrics. 

Suga brought the piece of paper over to the couch and sat down. He checked the time. Daichi would be driving over to Noya and Tanaka’s. He would show up, try to hide how proud he was of them, and let them drag him around their place. He would laugh and help set up the food that Suga had stocked the fridge the day before. 

He gripped the paper tightly. Daichi said he loved him, but who did he love? 

Suga thought about Tanaka and hoped that Hinata and Kageyama hadn’t picked up on all the sadness and uncertainty that he had tried so hard to hide.

His thoughts were cut short by the ringer on his phone, Suga picked up and looked out the window. The cab was there. He ran his fingers through his hair, grabbed his bag, and locked the door on his way out.

The driver confirmed the address of the hotel where Oikawa was staying. He had wanted to use his personal suite, which was usually not the way Suga did things, but Oikawa was “so lonely, Koushi,” and “Iwa-chan abandoned me, so please come Saturday night.” Suga rolled his eyes. When he had tried to move up their time, or move the day, Oikawa cooly reminded him that beggars couldn’t be choosers. The bile rose in his throat and he swallowed hard.

Suga did the math again in his head. With the money he got from their first session, this one, and another one before The Court left town for their next tour, he would have enough to cover at least another month’s rent and utilities. After this week, after the show, he could stop. He could make everything right.

Once Suga paid the cab driver, he went into the hotel and let himself into Oikawa’s suite. He dropped his bag by the door and poked his head into the bedroom. The room was completely bare except for a small piece of paper on the floor between the bed and the dresser.

His curiosity got the better of him and he picked up the piece of paper, which, he found, was actually a photograph. Suga turned it over in his hands. It looked had been folded the same way for years. He unfolded the picture and a blush crept across his face. 

Iwaizumi stared back at him from the dead center of the picture. He looked like he was about to the speak and he had his arm raised like he didn’t want the picture taken. Suga was mesmerized by the way Iwaizumi’s mouth curved, the way his eyes were a kaleidoscope of browns and greens, the way he looked at the camera like the person behind it was the only thing that mattered.

The background was completely dark, so Suga couldn’t tell where the picture was taken, and he didn’t know Iwaizumi that well, so he couldn’t tell how old it was. All he recognized from the photo was the look of a man in love. 

“You can look all you want, just don’t fall in love with him,” Oikawa said from the door. 

Suga jumped in surprise. He had been so absorbed in the picture that he didn’t hear Oikawa enter the room.

Oikawa plucked the picture from Suga’s hand and folded it delicately before he slipped it into his back pocket. From the looks of the picture and the practiced way he slipped it into his jeans, it seemed like Oikawa didn’t spend much time away from the picture.

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem,” Suga said blankly. 

Oikawa put his hands on his hips and puffed out his cheeks. Suga tried to read the goofy expression on his face but came up with nothing. 

“If even Iwa-chan isn’t up to YOUR standards, I guess I should be grateful that you would stoop to my level.” 

The comment dripped with sarcasm, but Suga couldn’t help wonder if Oikawa really did think that Iwaizumi was out of reach.

“You are paying me, Oikawa,” Suga reminded him. 

“So crude, Kou-chan,” Oikawa whined. 

Suga sat back down on the bed behind him. “So personal, Tooru.”

Oikawa pursed his lips and looked at him through lowered lashes. “Am I going to be punished for this?”

“That depends on you,” Suga glanced at the clock over Oikawa’s shoulder. Oikawa turned to follow Suga’s gaze.

Suga reached for his work phone, hit the time, and turned all of his attention to the client in front of him.

When the timer went off, Suga extricated himself from Oikawa’s grasp, grabbed a robe, and headed for the bathroom. When he turned off the water of the shower to dry himself off, he heard Oikawa singing on the other side of the door as he walked around the room. Oikawa might be a client, but that didn’t mean Suga couldn’t enjoy his music. He leaned against the door and listened. 

The melody was unfamiliar; it wasn’t the electronic, bubbly, sweet melody that Suga associated with him. He missed the first verse, but caught the next one.

    And I have to speculate  
    That God himself did make  
    Us into corresponding shapes  
    Like puzzle pieces from the clay.

Suga smiled despite himself and thought of Daichi, how when they kissed it had felt like every crazy, bizarre puzzle piece in the world clicked into place. Oikawa kept singing.

    And true, it may seem like a stretch,  
    But it’s thoughts like this that catch  
    My troubled head when you’re away  
    And when I’m missing you to death. 

His mind wandered to the picture of Iwaizumi that Oikawa slipped skillfully into his pocket. Oikawa stepped farther from the door and Suga had trouble hearing the next words. When he finally moved closer, Suga paid close attention to the chorus.

    They will see us waving from such great heights.  
    “Come down now,” they’ll say,  
    But everything looks perfect from far away.   
    Come down now, but we’ll stay. 

It was a love song. A beautiful love song. Suga didn’t recognize it, so he doubted that Oikawa had ever recorded it. Was it a secret? Was it about Iwaizumi?

His thoughts were forcefully redirected by a knock on the door.

“Sugawara, I would hate to have to call the cops and tell them a prostitute drowned in my bath tub. It wouldn’t reflect well on either of us.”

“I’ll be out in a second.” Suga said through the door with a leg already through one of his pant legs. When Suga got out of the bathroom, Oikawa pointed at an envelope on the dresser without turning to look.

Suga shoved the envelope in his back pocket and paused before he left the bedroom. “Did you write that song?”

He nodded, back still turned.

“It was really good,” Suga said as nonchalantly as he could.

Oikawa spun around and glared at Suga with his intense, dark eyes. “Of course it’s good,” he scoffed. Suga laughed.

“Now, if you don’t mind, I have work to do,” Oikawa looked at the phone in his hand and waved Suga off.

“Alright, let me know about later this week.”

Oikawa hummed in response and Suga left the suite without looking back. He waited until he got into the cab to pull out his personal phone and check for party updates. Most of the texts were incomprehensible and all of the photos he got were blurry. Daichi was in the background of all of them and Suga laughed aloud. He opened a text from Daichi from the beginning of the party.

From: Daichi  
The house looks great and the food is amazing - I didn’t eat any of the dumplings, I swear! Yachi and Kiyoko were just looking for you. We wish you were here. Hope you’re having a good night!

He clutched his phone to his chest for a second and took a deep breath before moving on to the sound file that Hinata had sent. He plugged in his headphones to listen.

The song was beautiful; Hinata’s voice and Kageyama’s guitar danced together perfectly and Suga felt like the pride that swelled in his chest would seep out of his pores and swallow him whole. Hinata’s voice carried Suga’s words and they reverberated through his entire body. 

He watched the streetlights from the cab window and, the next thing he knew, the cab driver was waking him up in front of his apartment building. 

The day after the party, everyone buckled down for the week ahead of them. Suga coordinated everyone’s schedules, and Daichi and Asahi went to check out the acoustics of the venue and talk to Ukai about the schedule for the night. Everyone else took the day to recover from the party.

In the afternoon, Oikawa got in touch with him to schedule their last session before he joined the rest of his band on the road and Suga was relieved. They agreed to meet in the afternoon on Thursday, right before Oikawa left, which was perfect. Since Suga had the schedules, he knew that everyone was busy and would be meeting up later for last-minute set list prep. He wouldn’t miss anything and Oikawa would leave and everything would work out.

Suga went to sleep that night with a strange calm and nervous excitement. He couldn’t wait for the week, the weekend, and every day after that. 

On Monday afternoon, the day that intensive practices were supposed to start, Suga’s peace was interrupted by the obnoxious ring of his door buzzer. He eyed the door suspiciously. He wasn’t expecting anyone.

When he went down to check who it was, he put his hands on his hips and let out a long breath. Kageyama stood on his stoop with his usual scowl and guitar strapped to his back. When he saw Suga in the door, he waved.

“Kageyama, I thought you and Hinata were in class all day?”

Kageyama shifted from one foot to the other and adjusted the strap of his guitar bag. “Yeah, I, I mean, we were. Can I come in?”

“Sure,” Suga said slowly. “Is everything okay?”

Kageyama shrugged and Suga beckoned him into the building and up the stairs to his apartment. Once they were settled, Suga made them some tea and sat down across from Kageyama at the kitchen table table. Suga noticed Kageyama glance at the couch, where he and Hinata had worked so diligently the week before. 

They sipped their tea in silence. Kageyama obviously wanted to talk, but didn’t know quite how to start, so Suga tried to start the conversation. 

“Hinata sent me a recording of my song that you played at the party. You guys did an amazing job. Did everyone like it?”

“It was just me and Hinata playing,” Kageyama mumbled into his tea.

“Oh,” Suga sighed. He was a little relieved that no one else had heard the song yet. Suga took another sip of tea and stared at Kageyama. “How about ‘thank you kindly for letting us use your amazing lyrics and for the compliment,’ hm?” 

Kageyama dipped his head. “Thank you for letting write music for your lyrics. They were beautiful.” 

Suga leaned back in his chair and smiled wide. “No worries. I’m glad my lyrics are in capable hands.”

Kageyama blushed and tapped the surface of the table. Finally, he looked up from his mug and looked right into Suga’s eyes. “I kissed Hinata for the first time today after class.”

Suga almost spit out his tea. The two of them definitely had chemistry, but Suga assumed it was too early for anything to actually happen. He didn’t think they talked about anything other than music. “What?! Did you confess?” 

Kageyama shook his head ‘no’ but didn’t say anything and Suga leaned towards him. “Wait, why isn’t Hinata here? What happened exactly?”

“We were sitting under a tree after class and talking about the show this weekend. Hinata was being a dumbass and screeching about how excited he was. I told him to shut up because people were staring and he was being a dumbass - “

“Alright, I get it, Hinata’s a dumbass. Get to the kissing.”

“He stopped talking for a second and I went for it,” Kageyama said in one breath.

“And then?” Suga asked cautiously.

Kageyama cringed. “When I pulled away, he looked at me for a second, told me he had to go and ran away.”

Suga leaned on the table and rubbed his face. “Kageyama, you need to actually tell people you like them BEFORE you attack them with your face.”

“We did talk. A little. He said he dated guys before and that he wasn’t seeing anyone.” Kageyama exclaimed. 

“Hate to break it to you, but just because Hinata has dated guys and is currently single doesn’t give you the right to up and kiss him without any explanation or warning.”

“I know. It's just that I’m not that great with words and I thought it would be… romantic, like in the movies.” Kageyama said quietly. 

Suga studied Kageyama from across the table. His brow was furrowed and he held onto his tea cup like it was the only thing keeping him there. His shoulders slumped and his hair hung down in his face. Suga moved his chair around the table and next to Kageyama so that he could rub his back. 

“That was sweet, Kageyama, but really stupid. I mean, really stupid. You can’t just go kissing people out of the blue.”

“So what do I do now?” Kageyama asked.

“You need to apologize first. And maybe give him some space this week. I know we have a bunch of practices scheduled, but you might want to try playing apart, at least until you can talk to him about it. It’s not a problem.”

Kageyama looked at Suga and he felt his heart stop. The deep blue of Kageyama’s eyes and the pleading way he looked at him made him think of Iwaizumi’s face in the Oikawa’s picture. Their expressions were different, the circumstances were different, but the seriousness and affection in their eyes was the same. Oikawa’s voice wove itself into the memory of the photo and Suga had a thought. 

“Hey, how about you write him a song? And perform it at the show? That’ll be romantic, and you’ll get to tell him how you feel. At the very least, it’ll start an honest to god conversation between you two.”

Kageyama scrunched up his face. “I’ve never written a whole song before. Would you help me with the lyrics?”

Suga smiled. “I’d love to, but, you know what, you should ask Daichi for help with the lyrics.”

“Why Daichi?” Kageyama asked.

“Eh, the guy knows a thing or two about confessions,” Suga said with a wink.

Kageyama nodded and took another sip of tea.

“Speaking of Daichi, if he hears that you missed another class, he might not let you play at all this weekend…” 

Suga swore he never saw anyone move as fast as Kageyama did as he pushed away from the table, thanked Suga for the help, and sprinted out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is Such Great Height recorded by Iron and Wine (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCYWymG9fSs). 
> 
> This was a sad day in the US. Have some awkward first kisses. 
> 
> Sorry for the delayed update. I hope to be a little better about the last few chapters. Fingers crossed and thanks to those who are still following the story. I love you all and hope you enjoy.


	13. Chapter 13

“Wow, Kiyoko,” Suga said before his throat went dry. He held Kiyoko’s phone in his hand and looked over a selfie of her and Yachi from Noya and Tanaka’s party. He saw Kiyoko enough that, by then, it shouldn’t have been an issue, but he was always a little taken aback by the force and serenity of her beauty. 

Kiyoko smiled and pulled her phone away to find another picture. The smile stayed on her face and Suga watched her scroll through her phone. While she was scrolling, the door to the café jingled and Kiyoko looked up. 

Suga turned around to wave as Hinata approached the counter. He checked the time on his phone and was surprised by his timeliness. Hinata must’ve sprinted from the building where his Wednesday classes were held. 

“Hi Hinata,” Kiyoko said warmly. She addressed Suga. “Anyone else joining you two?”

Suga shook his head. “Just us right now. Daichi is going over some instrument stuff with Noya and Tanaka before this weekend. Asahi will be meeting us later to finalize the set list and sort out who will sing what,” he stopped himself. “I’m so sorry. This is probably boring you.”

She looked between Suga and Hinata. “Not at all. We’re excited to see you guys this weekend,” she pointed to their community board by the door and, sure enough, there was a huge poster tacked up over the ads for pet-sitters, gallery openings, and apartment listings. Suga held his hands over his heart to try to keep it from jumping out of his chest.

Hinata stared at the poster for a solid minute before turning to Kiyoko with wide, glittering eyes. “That poster is amazing! Did Yachi draw it? She showed me some of her drawings once and she’s super good.”

Kiyoko nodded and a slight blush colored her cheeks. “You want your usual? Are you staying or taking off?”

Suga told her they would be staying and Kiyoko started working on their drinks. Once they were all set, they took their drinks to their usual couch. Suga watched Hinata happily sip his smoothie and grab papers from his backpack. 

They only worked for a little while before the conversation strayed.

“It’s not that I don’t like him,” Hinata said mostly to himself. He played with a hole in his jeans before throwing his hands up in the air and letting them fall back on his lap. “I don’t know!”

“It’s okay to be confused. Do you think the space is helping?” Suga said gently. 

“Yeah. It just sucks. We’ll all be okay for the show, right?”

After the The Kiss, Suga had to rearrange all the schedules so that Hinata and Kageyama could both get practice with the rest of the band but stay clear of each other. It had worked out nicely; Asahi sung when Hinata wasn’t around and Daichi played guitar when Kageyama couldn’t be there. 

Since then, Suga spent very little time with Daichi and, if he were honest, Suga was thankful. Like Kageyama, he needed time to figure out exactly how he wanted to approach their talk after the show. It had to be perfect. Daichi deserved nothing less. 

Suga watched Hinata scribble some words down on a stray piece of paper and pretended to read them over his shoulder. Hinata focused so hard on music that he seemed to forget about his surroundings. He crossed out a word and furrowed his brow. 

“You know, it’s a shame that your way with words hasn’t rubbed off on Kageyama yet,” Suga joked. 

Hinata giggled and continued to work. He stuck his tongue out a little and tapped his pen against his cheek. When Asahi got there, they could go over lyrics, but Suga wanted to find out a little more about what was going on in Hinata’s head. 

Suga cleared his throat and leaned back into the couch. “You know, I’m pretty sure Kageyama followed you around when you busked because he had a big crush on you and didn’t know what to do about it,” Suga folded his hands in his lap. “He seems to prefer action over words.”

Finally, Hinata put his pen down and cocked his head at Suga. “You think he had a crush on me? Really?” 

“Really,” Suga perked up.

Hinata screwed up his face like he was thinking. “I knew he was talented, and awesome, and the first time I ever heard him play, I wanted to play with him, too, but he was just so grumpy and quiet that I figured he’d just growl at me or something.”

Suga laughed. “He’s really come a long way in a short amount of time, though, don’t you think?”

Hinata nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah!”

“I’m pretty sure that’s because of you,” Suga added. 

“But everyone else is so cool! How could he not be awesome around them?” Hinata said seriously. 

Suga reached over to ruffle his hair. “Everyone IS cool, but I think you’re the biggest influence on him.”

Hinata sighed. “Maybe. UGH!” Hinata flopped back into the couch. “I want this to be real and I can’t know if it is if Kageyama doesn’t SAY anything.” 

“Hypothetical question, then. How would you feel about a public confession?” Suga asked as innocently as he could manage.

“Whaaaaa?” 

Suga played with the hem of his shirt. “Oh, like, if someone wrote you a song and performed live.”

“That would be the BEST!” Hinata shouted as he leapt off of the couch with both hands in the air. He pulled them into his chest and bounced on his heels. Suga grabbed his arm and pulled him back to the couch. 

“Glad to hear it,” Suga said with a smile. 

While Hinata gushed about the idea that someone might write a song about him someday, Asahi came into the café and waved at Suga and Hinata from the door. Hinata got off the couch again to meet him halfway and walked him back to where Suga was sitting. He babbled about confessions and songs and Asahi tried to follow his words and his hands but had a hard time. 

Suga tried to help. “I just asked Hinata how he would feel if someone wrote a song for him. You know, a real confession.”

“Oh, cool. Yeah, there’s nothing like it,” Asahi said with little smile. 

“You would know?” Suga squinted at him. 

“Like you would?” Asahi asked. He blinked at Suga. Hinata looked at Suga and waited for his response with bated breath. 

Suga laughed. “Alright, you two. Less gossip and more work. Let’s get started so that Hinata can get to Noya and Tanaka’s in time to practice with actual instruments.”

Hinata cheered. Suga brought out his laptop and they worked right up until Hinata had to run out of the café to catch the bus.

Asahi said something, but Suga didn’t catch it. He was so focused on running through the next day’s schedule in his head that everything else faded away. He would wake up, make sure everyone knew where they were supposed to be, meet Oikawa for the final time, leave, and never think about again. Asahi had to poke him in the shoulder to get his attention. 

“You okay?” 

Suga jumped. “Yeah, totally fine,” he reassured. Asahi’s stomach growled and Suga checked the time. “It’s getting late! How about I cook you dinner and we catch up, hm?”

Asahi smiled wide and they cleaned up the table. Suga wrapped an arm around Asahi’s waist and they made their way up to Suga’s apartment.

The next afternoon, before Suga had to leave to get to Oikawa’s, Asahi called him to let him know that something had come up at school and he wouldn’t be able to help Daichi with transportation. Suga tried to get in touch with Daichi, but couldn’t get a hold of him. Before he could think anything of it, his phone buzzed with a text to let him know his cab was outside the building. Suga packed his bag, grabbed his personal phone as well as his work phone, and left the apartment.

Suga let himself into Oikawa’s suite and headed straight for the bedroom. He closed the blinds to shut out the afternoon sun, showered, and waited for Oikawa to show up. Luckily, it wasn’t long before he sauntered into the suite and poked his head into the bedroom. 

Once cursory greetings were exchanged, Oikawa told Suga to start the timer. Suga let out a sigh of relief. Oikawa wasn’t in the mood for small talk and neither was he. Only a couple more hours and he was free. 

Thirty minutes into their time, though, Oikawa paused. Suga peered over his shoulder to see what had made Oikawa stop. 

When he looked, Oikawa was staring at the bedroom door behind him, which was closed. 

“Anything wrong?” Suga asked. 

Oikawa, still turned toward the door, hummed in thought. Suga attempted to shift, but Oikawa kept him in place. 

“Something I can do?” Suga tried again. 

This time, Oikawa shook his head and turned back to Suga. He leaned forward and put his arms on either side of Suga’s shoulders. He bit down on Suga’s neck and thrust back into Suga so forcefully that he gasped for air.

Suga tried his best to steady himself, but the next thrust never came. He heard the door to the bedroom swing open.

“Oh FUCK NO.”

Time seemed to slow down and, before Suga could react, Oikawa was torn off his back.

Suga grabbed the sheets from the side of the bed to hug them to his body as he flipped to see what was going on behind him. 

“Iwa-chan!”

Iwaizumi and Oikawa stood facing each other. Oikawa, despite, being completely naked, didn’t budge, so Iwaizumi reached into the dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers and a shirt. He threw them at Oikawa and watched him dress. They never broke eye contact. 

Once he was minimally dressed, Oikawa brushed invisible wrinkles out of the shirt. Suga’s heart was racing and he felt like he might throw up, but Oikawa seemed calm, like this was nothing out of the ordinary. His only tell was that his hands were shaking slightly. 

“Iwa-chan, you surprised me,” Oikawa said in a small voice.

Iwaizumi shook his head and rubbed his face. “Are you paying him?” he asked in a curt voice, ignoring Oikawa’s comment entirely. 

Oikawa tried to smooth his hair, but his trembling hands didn’t obey. He ended up just putting his hands on his hips to try to steady them. Oikawa huffed, but didn’t say anything, and Iwaizumi stepped right up to him.

“Why?” Iwaizumi searched Oikawa’s face and Suga could tell that he didn’t find what he was looking for in Oikawa’s eyes. 

“Iwa-chan, let’s not talk about this here, hm?” Oikawa cocked his head toward Suga. 

Iwaizumi clenched his fists and his face turned to stone. “I don’t give a fuck who’s here!” he shouted. 

Oikawa tried to say something else, but Iwaizumi interrupted him. “Why Shittykawa? Hm? Am I not good enough for the king of the Court? I offered you everything! All of me! Damnit!”

“Don’t shout,” Oikawa tried to grab Iwaizumi’s arm, but he pulled away. 

“Why not? Huh? Afraid someone else will find you here? God, Oikawa, I love you! I fucking know you love me too!”

Oikawa’s entire body tensed. Suga’s mortification ebbed in favor of morbid curiosity and he pulled the sheets closer to his body. He almost didn’t catch Oikawa’s next words, he said them so softly.

“Wrong, wrong, wrong, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa laughed sadly. “It’s me who doesn’t deserve you.”

Suga watched the muscles in Iwaizumi’s shoulders relax and he reached up to cup Oikawa’s cheek in his palm. They put their foreheads together and whispered. 

Suga itched to get back into his clothes, run away, and never look back. Oikawa and Iwaizumi had moved closer toward the door, so Suga had a clear shot of his things. He inched his way to the side of the bed, got up slowly as to not disturb the other two, and reached for his bag. His personal phone slipped out and Suga noticed he had a couple texts from Daichi. He opened them up to read them quickly before he got dressed.

From: Daichi  
So sorry I missed you! Ennoshita called me in a panic about some donor, so I had to go into work. Asahi didn’t have to work after all, so everything kind of worked out.

The next text was more recent, sent just a half hour ago.

From: Daichi  
Hey! Crazy story. After the party last weekend, I tried getting in touch with Iwaizumi to get some advice and he just got back to me. Apparently he’s in town to surprise Oikawa? Gonna meet him at Oikawa’s hotel and ask them for pointers. I’ll let you know how it goes!

No. 

No no no no no. 

He moved to get his clothes, but it was too late. There was another voice from the door.

“The room was open, so I,” Daichi stopped mid sentence. “Suga?”

Suga closed his eyes and clung to the sheet wrapped around his body. Iwaizumi looked at Suga and his mouth fell open, like he had just recognized him. Oikawa, however, didn’t hide his amusement. He smirked and looked between the two of them with eyebrows raised high on his forehead. 

Suga looked down at his body, the sheet wrapped around his shoulders. He looked at Oikawa in his boxers and undershirt. Any words he might’ve had died in his throat, trampled to death by his racing heart. 

“Shit,” Iwaizumi muttered. 

Daichi stayed in the door and looked from Suga to Oikawa, and then back to Suga. Suga had seen people look at him like he was garbage, with apathy like he was nothing, with rage like he was the one that was responsible for all the evil in the world, but he had never once seen anyone look at him the way Daichi looked at him now, with sadness and defeat, like the sun had shone for the very last time and the world would never know light again.

“Suga, what’s going on?” Daichi asked.

Oikawa cleared his throat to speak but, before he could, Iwaizumi hit him upside the back of the head. 

“Get some pants, Shitty-kawa. We’re waiting out in the hall.”

“But this is my room!” Oikawa threatened to throw a temper tantrum but one look from Iwaizumi was enough to make him open the dresser, grab a pair of pants, put them on, and follow him out of the room. Iwaizumi grabbed Daichi’s shoulder, but Daichi didn’t acknowledge him. 

Once they were out and the door to the hotel room closed, Daichi stepped into the bedroom. He put a hand to his mouth as he looked around the room, at Suga’s clothes folded up on a chair, the small bottle on the nightstand, the condom wrapper on the floor. 

“When you said you couldn’t, was this?” Daichi’s voice caught in his throat and he put a hand on the dresser and leaned into it. “Do you love him?” He croaked. 

Suga swallowed hard. “No, Daichi, no. This isn’t what you think,” he tried to explain.

Daichi looked at the marks on Suga’s shoulders and he tried to cover them with the hand that wasn’t holding up the sheet. “What is it then?” he asked, voice heavy with heartbreak. 

This wasn’t supposed to be how it went, but Suga straightened up. He had no other choice. “This means nothing,” Suga said with emphasis. He took a deep breath. “Daichi, can I tell you something?” 

Daichi looked at him and nodded.

“Do you know what I did for all those years? How I paid back my student loans?” Suga took another deep breath. “I’m a sex worker. I was, for a long time. I - people paid to have sex with me. And I stopped! I moved back here because I didn’t want that life anymore. But then I lost my job and I didn’t know what to do.” Suga wrung his hands and looked at the carpet beneath his feet.

When Suga looked up, Daichi had taken a couple steps closer. He reached out for Suga’s face, and Suga leaned in, but Daichi dropped his hands before they made contact. Suga tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Daichi asked. 

“I was stupid. So, so stupid.” Suga hugged his arms across his chest.

“All this time, Suga, I could’ve helped...” Daichi trailed off. 

Suga tried to keep back the tears, but they streamed down his face and dripped onto his chest. “Everything was so perfect, you are so perfect. Other guys left me, Daichi, I didn’t want to lose you. I couldn’t.”

Daichi looked at him and scrunched his face to quell his own tears. He took a step back. “You didn’t trust me. You trusted Oikawa, but not me?”

“What? No,” Suga took a step forward in an attempt to close the distance between them but Daichi held out his hands in front of him to stop Suga from advancing. 

“All this time, but we were a team. I though. I told you I loved you, I love you, Suga, and you still couldn’t be honest with me?” Daichi brought his hands up to pinch the bridge of his nose. 

Suga’s knees threatened to give out from under him. “I’m so sorry, Daichi. Can we talk? Can we meet somewhere? I’ll tell you everything, anything. We’ll get it all out. We’ll work through it. I’ll just get dressed - “

“No,” Daichi said sharply. 

“Daichi?” Suga whimpered. 

“I need some time to think.”

Suga smiled. “Definitely, yes. Anything.” He tried again to get closer to Daichi. He held out his hand for Daichi to take, like Daichi had done a thousand times for him, but, instead of taking it, Daichi winced. His arms hung limply at his sides. 

“Time away from you.” Daichi looked at him one more time, wiped the tears off his face, and left the room without another word.

Suga clasped his hand over his mouth to stifle a sob. The door to the hotel room opened and shut and Suga’s knees finally gave out. He moved backward to find the bed and sat down. If the walls around him started to crumble, if pieces of the ceiling fell down around him, he wouldn’t have noticed.

Soon, there was someone in the doorframe and Suga looked up only to see Oikawa looking at him with red eyes and a fake sneer. 

“Tsk, tsk. The people you love always find out, Kou-chan,” Oikawa commented in a low, dangerous voice. 

From the hall, Suga heard Iwaizumi shout, “Pay him and get back here. We’re not done.”

Oikawa nodded slowly and turned to Suga. “If that’s what Iwa-chan wants, that’s what Iwa-chan gets.” He dug around in a bag that he brought with him into the room and put an envelope on the top of the dresser. “Please shower and be out of here in fifteen minutes,” Oikawa said cooly. He turned and left the room.

Suga watched him leave, like he watched Daichi leave. He sat in the empty bedroom and looked around. There was no one left to blame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the beginning of the end, guys. YIKES.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me and thank you for your comments on the last chapter. I say it every gosh darn time but you all are amazing and I couldn't do it without you.
> 
> Hopefully next chapter will be out early next week. I've got some life things going on that might eat into writing time, but I'll do my best. Also, for reasons, I no longer have tumblr mobile and my posts/replies are sporadic, but I love hearing from you! If you want to chat or check out my hot mess of a blog, find me @jellyryans.


	14. Chapter 14

Suga moved around the empty hotel room in a daze. He couldn’t remember how he did it, but he managed to arrange a cab and shower. When he left the room, he saw Oikawa and Iwaizumi talking in the hall. He barely registered their conversation, but took in the way Oikawa’s shoulder’s slumped and the way Iwaizumi gripped his arms. Suga looked at his face. Iwaizumi wasn’t angry; he was hurt. Suga turned the opposite way and left the hotel.

He heard the cab driver’s words as if they were underwater. Suga responded, but had the strange feeling he wasn’t actually talking. Once they were on the way back to his apartment, he looked out the window but didn’t see anything. 

Suga unlocked his door and looked around his apartment. The sun shone through the windows and particles of dust floated in the beams of light. He knew his apartment would be empty, but this was the first time that it had ever really felt empty. 

A phone buzzed in his pocket and he reached for it slowly. There were a number of text messages on his personal phone. Suga read the most recent one first.

From: Kageyama Tobio  
Have to go somewhere after class. Ok if im late? 15?

Suga let his head roll back and he closed his eyes tightly. Right. The schedule. He and Kageyama planned to talk about Hinata’s song and how the logistics of it would work with the rest of the setlist. Suga hit his cheeks with his palms and then replied back to let Kageyama know that it was fine.

He opened the older texts, which must’ve been sent while he was in the cab but Suga had no memory of receiving them.

From: Azumane Asahi  
Daichi just called. I’m so sorry Suga. Are you okay?

From: Azumane Asahi  
Where are you? Are you okay? 

From: Azumane Asahi  
I’m worried about you. Can you just let me know you’re okay?

Suga rubbed his face. He owed Asahi an explanation. He owed so many people so many explanations. He owed everyone so much and had nothing to give. He shot a quick message to Asahi to let him know that he was home and that he was far from okay, but there wasn’t anything anyone could do. He had made his own choices and would reap the consequences. 

He left his personal phone on his kitchen counter, sat on the couch, and watched dust float in the shifting sun beams until his door buzzed. Kageyama came into his apartment with his usual glower and scowl. Suga wondered if he knew that him and Daichi weren’t speaking anymore. He wondered if the show was in jeopardy, or the band. His hands started to shake.

Kageyama sat down at the table and and rapped his fingers on the tabletop. Suga smiled at him while he got up, grabbed two glasses of water and a couple pieces of fruit, and joined Kageyama at the table.. 

“You think you’ll be ready?” Suga asked. 

“Yes.” Kageyama answered quickly. He eyed the pieces of fruit in front him and Suga pushed them closer. He got the hint and picked up a banana.

“Can I read what you have so far?”

“No,” Kageyama replied between bites.

Suga deflated. “Why not?”

Kageyama shrugged and swallowed the last bite. “It’s not perfect yet.”

“Just a peek?” Suga pleaded. 

“It’ll be ready for the show, I’m just not ready. I’ll send you the final lyrics tomorrow night. I promise.” Kageyama swore so sincerely that Suga relented. He knew Kageyama would be ready, but he was curious, and he ached to see some sort of happiness.

“Fair enough!” Suga bit his lip. “So, excited for Saturday?”

Suga listened to Kageyama talk about the shows he had played before and noticed that Kageyama sidestepped The Court entirely. He didn’t seem too keen on talking about his past with Oikawa. They had that in common, Suga thought.

“I didn’t ask Daichi for help.”

The mention of Daichi’s name felt like an arrow through his core. Suga inhaled sharply. “Why not?”

“I didn’t need to. We talked at the party and I remembered.”

“Oh,” Suga put his hands on his knees underneath the table. 

“I think he heard us playing your song. He was sitting on the ground outside the room when I left.”

Suga tensed. “I didn’t realize Daichi had heard it. Did he know it was mine?”

“I don’t think so,” Kageyama answered carefully. 

“Hm,” Suga hummed and relaxed into the back of the chair. At least there was that. Daichi didn’t need any extra guilt. He had done enough already.

Kageyama fidgeted with the banana peel. “He told me how he felt about you.”

Suga shut his eyes. When he opened them, Kageyama stared at him attentively. “Really?” Suga asked.

“Yeah, and one of his words really struck me. Like, it lodged in my head and, when you said I should write a song, the more I thought about what I would write about, the more I thought about that word. He used it to describe you, or him. I don’t really remember now,” Kageyama scratched his head. Suga had to laugh. He might be a musical genius, but thinking was sometimes difficult for him.

“Oh boy. Do I even want to know?” Suga was almost afraid to ask.

Kageyama looked Suga right in the eyes. “It was beautiful,” he said simply.

Suga stared back, wide-eyed and stunned silent. He had never heard Kageyama use ‘beautiful’ to describe anything and he wasn’t sure how to take it. 

Eventually, Kageyama checked the time on his phone. He said something about going home to at least say ‘hello’ to his parents. He promised again to send Suga his finished lyrics and left the apartment. Suga sat at the table and wiped a couple tears off his cheek before he got up again.

He rummaged through his bag for his work phone to turn it off. He paused when he noticed there was a call from an unknown number and a voicemail. 

Warily, he clicked on the voicemail and held the phone to his ear.

_Hey, Sugawara, it’s Iwaizumi. I’m probably the last person you want to hear from, but I wanted to apologize. I had no idea you’d be there. Listen, I have a lot of experience dealing with this crap. It really sucks. For everyone. If you need me to talk to Daichi, or want to talk to me at all, let me know. I won’t say anything. Neither of us will. Hold on…_

Iwaizumi’s voice was gruff, but his concern was obvious and genuine. Iwaizumi spoke to someone on the other end of the phone. 

_Hey! Get over here and apologize to Sugawara. Uh, no, Shittykawa, you DO owe him an apology. Don’t think you’ll get out of this with a goofy face. STOP. Don’t make me come over -_

There was a bit of shuffling and mumbled words before Suga heard Oikawa’s voice on the other end of the phone.

_Sugawara? I would like to formally and sincerely apologize for the choices you made - IWA-CHAN! Rude! Fine. Anyway, I would like to apologize. Iwaizumi would like me to tell you that we are at your service if you ever need anything. Is that good, Iwa-chan? Okay. This is goodbye for now, Sugawara. I’ll say ‘hi’ to Yahaba for you!_

The line went dead. He shut off the phone and buried the device in his bedroom closet. He made a note to sell it after the show. 

Suga grabbed a sheet off his bed, wrapped it around himself and sat back down on the couch. The quiet of his apartment rung in his ears. He was alone. He was selfish. He was a liar. He hurt the man he loved. 

His personal phone rang, and he thought about ignoring, but, instead, he picked it up and checked the name on the screen. Asahi. Suga answered the call before he could talk himself out of it. 

“Hi, Asahi.”

_“SUGA! Are you okay?”_

Suga cringed. “No. But it’s fine. I know we all have stuff to to, but it's probably best if I'm alone tonight.”

_“Oh, well, I’m, um, already outside your apartment.”_

“What?” Suga sat up straight. There were other voices in the background that he hadn’t noticed before. “Who else is there?”

_“Ah, Noya and Tanaka.”_

Suga was confused. “Why? Don’t tell me we had something planned tonight? In fact, I thought you all would be with...” 

_“NO! No, we didn’t, but, when Daichi called me, I got really worried. I went to the café so I’d be close just in case you needed me. Noya and Tanaka were there, and I sort of told them that you and Daichi had an… issue, and they wanted to come after their shift to hang out with you instead of any sort of practice.”_

Suga heard Noya scream something about food and he was hit with longing so badly that he sucked in a breath.

“I’ll buzz you all in,” Suga said and hung up. He got up off the couch, put the sheet back on his bed, and brushed his hair with his fingers. 

Tanaka burst into the apartment and Asahi followed close behind. Noya dropped a bunch of grocery bags by the door.

“What’re you guys doing here?” Suga asked. “Shouldn’t you be practicing tonight? The calendar - “

Tanaka winced. “Yeah, we were, but this was more important. Daichi might not like it, but we’ll accept his punishment like the brave soldiers we are.” Tanaka put his hand to his heart and saluted. 

Suga laughed and hit him over the head.

Noya jumped between them with his arm outstretched. “And look! Suga! I got a new tattoo! Yachi designed it for me! Got it before the show as a good luck charm.” He pointed to the small crow nestled among all his other tattoos. Suga grabbed his arm to look closer. He smiled wide but his happiness was short lived. 

“It’s incredibly cool, but, after this weekend, I don’t know if the band will be -”

Suga was cut off again. Noya crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you serious right now? Daichi’ll get over whatever’s got his underwear in a knot because he loves the shit out of you and you’re awesome and everything’s gonna be fine.”

Suga looked at his friends, his bandmates, and tried to remind himself what was happening. They had eschewed everything in favor of seeing him just to make sure he was okay. Asahi waited for hours even though he wasn’t sure Suga would want to see him. Did he really deserve these people? After what he did?

He looked around for Asahi, who still stood by the door. He held a rolled up piece of paper that he handed to Suga over Noya’s head. Suga unrolled it and his jaw dropped. 

“Did you steal this? You really are a delinquent! What about the board in the café?” 

Asahi smiled nervously. “I didn’t steal it. Kiyoko wanted you to have it, as a reminder of how excited everyone is for the weekend. She texted Yachi at work and she’ll print off another one to hang up in the café. It’s no problem.” Asahi wrung his hands together. 

“Okay!” Noya clapped his hands together. “Enough chatting! Let’s make Suga some food!”

Suga threw his head back in laughter and clutched the poster to his chest. “Whoa now, who said I would let you into MY kitchen?” 

“We’d like to see you try to stop us!” Noya and Tanaka laughed loudly and ran into the kitchen.

Suga moved to follow them, but Asahi put his hand on Suga’s arm. 

“They really wanted to cook something for you because you always cook for them,” Asahi explained gently. 

“Oh,” Suga said with a breath. “They don’t have to.”

“But they want to, Suga. I had to literally hold Noya back at the grocery store,” Asahi chuckled. 

Suga was embarrassed by the tears welling up in his eyes. “Fine. But only because we’re close enough that we can watch them. And there’s a fire extinguisher under the sink,” Suga pointed out. He paused. “Can they even cook?”

“Not even a little,” Asahi answered quickly. “But boxed pasta is pretty hard to screw up.”

They shared a laugh and Suga leaned into Asahi’s shoulder. He put his arm around him and rested his chin on the top of Suga’s head. They made their way to the couch and sat down while Noya and Tanaka lumbered around the kitchen. 

“Was Daichi okay when you talked him?” 

Asahi let out a long breath. “He’s definitely shaken up. When we let him know that we’d be skipping tonight, he backed down pretty easily.”

Suga bit his bottom lip. 

“Don’t worry about him,” Asahi reassured. “He’ll be fine.”

“I’m not worried about him, I’m worried about…” Suga stopped. 

“You can be worried about yourself,” Asahi said quietly. 

“I’m worried about us, him and I. Do you think we’ll ever,” Suga’s voice cracked. “Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?”

Asahi looked at him like he was crazy. “That’s what you do when you’re in love. You forgive. Will you be able to forgive him?”

“Forgive him?” Suga asked incredulously. 

“He never gave you the chance to explain, did he?” Asahi asked. 

“No, but what is there to say?” 

Asahi just shook his head. “You guys need to follow your own advice and actually talk to each other.”

Suga let out a laugh. Asahi had a point. Both he and Daichi had scolded Kageyama for not talking to Hinata. Suga remembered how he left Oikawa and Iwaizumi. They had both faced the situation head on instead of running away. 

“You’re right,” Suga admitted. He eyed Asahi and poked him in the chest. “When did you get so good at all this love advice stuff? Hm?”

Asahi sputtered, but he was interrupted by the doorbell. Suga looked at Asahi with raised eyebrows and mouth drawn into a thin line. His heart started to beat faster. 

“It’s not Daichi,” Asahi reassured. 

Suga relaxed back onto the couch and watched Asahi get up off the couch and walk over to buzz the mystery guest into the building. He didn’t have time to brace himself and prepare for what was coming. Almost as soon as Asahi opened the door, a blurry orange head of hair shot over to the couch and smothered him.

“Suga! Asahi said we were meeting at your house for a party instead of practice! Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner!” 

Suga nuzzled his nose into Hinata’s hair and patted his back. “Hinata, you should greet someone properly before suffocating them.”

Hinata pulled away and smiled wide. “Hi Suga!” he chirped.

“Hi Hinata,” Suga laughed. He looked at the bags that still hung off Hinata’s arms. “What do you have there?”

“Asahi told me to bring some of my movies. The ones I knew you’d like. I also brought some snacks. Just in case,” Hinata added quickly.

Suga furrowed his brow and huffed with mock anger. “Just in case of what? I’m a little offended and hurt that you think you’d be hungry here.”

Still mostly in Suga’s lap, Hinata sat back on his heels. “I’m sorry! Noya and Tanaka told me to bring snacks. They wanted to make sure you didn’t have to do anything,” Hinata said with a definitive nod. “They said we’re taking care of you tonight!”

By the time Hinata finished talking, Noya and Tanaka had poked their heads into the living room and Asahi had sat down at the table. Suga looked at Hinata, and then over his shoulder at the rest of the group. 

“Taking care of me, huh? Does this mean you’re going to clean the place afterwards?” Suga joked. 

“Yup!” Hinata replied brightly. Tanaka gave them two thumbs up and a large, toothy, smile.

Suga hummed. The fact that they were skipping practice to be there hung around his neck like a weight. “I feel a little bad that we’re not practicing… you guys aren’t obligated to take care of me you know.”

Hinata’s head jerked back in surprise. “We’re really good, though!”

“We totally are. You had us working our asses off and now we’re ready for anything!” Noya added from the kitchen.

Suga threw his head back and laughed. “You both have excellent points.”

“And we want to be here with you,” Hinata added. “We don’t want you to be sad,” he said in a lower voice.

Suga whacked him on the back of the head. “How could I be sad when you guys won’t leave me alone?”

Hinata held his head and Suga asked him about the movies he brought. Amazingly, the apartment was still in one piece after Noya and Tanaka were done in the kitchen, and Hinata helped Asahi serve everyone dinner. Instead of sitting at the table, they crowded on Suga’s couch and ate while they watched the first movie. 

Suga was in the middle, flanked by Asahi and Tanaka. Noya was half perched on the arm of the couch and leaned heavily into Asahi’s side. Suga swore he saw Noya carding casually through Asahi’s hair during the second movie, but he kept quiet. Hinata sat on the floor between Suga’s legs. 

They watched movies until Suga could barely keep his eyes open. 

The next morning, Suga’s alarm went off and he rolled over in bed to silence it. The sun came through his windows and the dust particles danced in the light, but Suga didn’t notice them. 

He flung off his covers and cracked open the door to his bedroom. He had made it to his bed at some point the night before, but everyone else was scattered around the living room. Hinata was sprawled out on the floor underneath the coffee table. Asahi was on the couch and Noya was tucked perfectly at his side, right up against the cushions. Suga snapped a picture before finding Tanaka, who made it to Suga’s recliner but had failed to extend it, so he was curled up on the chair in a position that made Suga’s neck ache.

Suga put his hands on his waist and surveyed his friends. He chewed his lip for a couple minutes before he grabbed his phone, turned up the volume, and chose the most annoying alarm he could find.

Everyone stirred immediately and Suga poked, prodded, nudged, and scolded until each of his friends were their way with hugs and words of encouragement. Asahi had promised to talk to Daichi about practice that day and let him know what he could do before the show.

He looked at the calendar on his phone. Every fiber of his being ached, and even though he had no idea what the next couple days would mean for him and Daichi, he had to steel himself. Asahi’s question from the night before had shaken him. It was true, Daichi never gave him the chance to explain. Suga owed Daichi an explanation, but Daichi also owed him the time to do it. If he couldn’t handle it, than maybe, and Suga’s stomach churned, a romantic relationship was out of the question entirely.

At the end of the day, after everyone had confirmed that they would be in the right places at the right times the following day, Suga opened his email and saw that Kageyama had finally sent over the lyrics to his song. He took a deep breath and opened up the message.

He read through the lyrics of the song once, and then immediately read through them again. Suga stared at the title of the song. Kageyama wasn’t kidding. It really was beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy love times for happy volleyband boys. Last chapter might take me a couple weeks, but it'll happen. Thinking about doing a little epilogue, too, but undecided. I guess it depends on how much I miss you guys :)
> 
> Thanks for reading, commenting, supporting me, asking questions, leaving kudos, and being the best readers in the world. I love you all. 
> 
> Oh! If any of you know how to do the thing where you create a playlist online and then are able to share it on tumblr, could you let me know how I might go about doing it? Might be cool to post?
> 
> I've been really bad about tumblr lately (moving next weekend and feeling destabilized), but, if you want, you can find me @jellyryans.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the night of the show and Daichi thinks about things.

Daichi looked at his reflection. The steam from his shower settled and he he slung a towel low around his waist. He watched drops of water fall from his hair, wet his shoulders, and run down his chest. 

Bokuto and Kuroo bothered him enough to work out before work a couple times a week, so he wasn’t in terrible shape, but there was definitely room for improvement. Daichi put a hand on his stomach. Suga’s cooking certainly hadn’t helped. For some reason, Suga stayed slim while Daichi put on weight. Life wasn’t fair, Suga had reminded him. ‘Should I stop cooking for you?’ he had asked with a smile and a wink.

He straightened up and watched the muscles flex in his shoulders and neck. He would never admit it aloud, but he had always wished he was taller. He made up for it in volleyball, stayed low to the ground, learned techniques to make up for what he lacked, but he was self-conscious about it all the same. Oikawa towered over him. Daichi wondered if Suga found taller guys more attractive. 

“Can’t think about this right now,” he muttered to himself. He readied his razor to shave and rubbed his cheeks. It wasn’t even about that, Daichi thought. Oikawa had paid him for sex. Because that’s what Suga did.

Daichi brought the razor to his face and started to shave. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Oikawa kissing Suga’s skin, holding him down. Suga was a sex worker. Had been for years. Oikawa had hired him. Suga had stood in front of him with a sheet wrapped around his shoulders and bruises on the soft, porcelain skin of his neck. Daichi felt a growl rise his chest and tried desperately to focus on the blade next to his skin.

After shaving, he ran his hands through his hair. He would have to get it cut again soon. The memory of his last haircut wrapped its shadowy fingers around his heart and squeezed. He had gotten his hair cut at the cheapest place he could find and it showed. As soon as Suga saw it, he doubled over in laughter and teased him about it mercilessly. Every time Suga teased him, though, he casually ran his hands through Daichi’s hair. He bit his lip. What was life like before Suga? What would life be like without him?

He rubbed lotion on his face and tried to ignore the bags under his eyes. What would happen after the show? He heard his phone ring down the hall and hurried to answer it. 

When the time came, he drove to meet Asahi and pick up the rental car that Suga had arranged the day before. Daichi went over the schedule that Suga had set out for him the day before. After dropping Asahi off at the rental agency, Daichi would go over to Noya and Tanaka’s place to meet Tanaka and load equipment. Yamaguchi left his keyboard there to make things easier, but Tsukishima insisted on having his guitar on him, something about not trusting a single one of them. Once they were all set loading, he and Tanaka would pick up Kageyama and head to the bar. 

Neither Asahi nor Daichi had much to say on the way to the rental place. Daichi waited outside and, when Asahi gave him the signal from the entrance of the rental agency, Daichi started his truck. Asahi would be off to the café to meet Suga and Hinata and wait for the end of Noya’s shift. Then, he would find Yamaguchi and Tsukishima and they would all meet at the bar.

Daichi let his mind wander when he pulled up to a red light. Tonight would be the first time Hinata and Kageyama were thrown together since the kiss. He and Suga would be together again. 

He grimaced. Everything in him screamed to go to Suga, apologize, run his fingers through his silvery hair, rub his thumb along his cheek, kiss the mole beneath his left eye, and tell him that he loved him until he was hoarse. But he wouldn’t. He couldn’t? Life wasn’t fair. Suga had said it himself. 

Noya and Tanaka’s house came into view, so Daichi signaled, pulled into the driveway, parked, and took one last look at himself in the rearview mirror. The show must go on. 

Tanaka answered the door and Daichi was surprised to see that Tanaka looked just as tired as he did. Daichi mentioned it and Tanaka snorted.

“Well gee, Daichi, I wonder WHY I’m beat? Couldn’t be because we have been practicing a million hours a week, hm?”

“You guys needed it,” Daichi said seriously. “And you weren’t practicing the whole week. Don’t exaggerate.”

“No, Daichi, not the WHOLE week,” Tanaka eyed him and started grabbing equipment.

Daichi hummed. He knew Tanaka was referring to the night everyone spent with Suga. When Asahi had texted him to let him know that they wouldn’t be practicing, Daichi had accepted it outright. He didn’t have the heart to practice and wouldn’t have been able to hide it. He had spent that night drinking beer and staring at his bedroom wall.

“Y’know, you don’t have to tell us what happened, but you need to fix things with Suga,” Tanaka said cooly. It was a tone of voice the he reserved only for guys trying to hit on Kiyoko and it put Daichi on edge.

“Not sure that’s any of your business,” Daichi responded in the same dark tone, which made Tanaka drop the snare drum in his hand and groan loudly. 

“Are you serious right now? Dude, the guy was barely holding it together. I think he only hit each of us once the whole night. That must be some kind of record.”

Daichi laughed and Tanaka kept talking.

“He seemed the same, all smiling and snarky, but something was off. We hate seeing him that way and it sucks and I feel like the ball might be in your court.”

Daichi stopped what he was doing to face Tanaka. “There are no courts. And there are no balls.” Tanaka let out a howl of laughter and Daichi waited until he stopped giggling to continue. “I get what you’re trying to say, but he rejected me when I confessed. And then he felt like he couldn’t be honest with me about something really big. What’s left for us?”

Tanaka squinted at him. “What’s left for you? You’ve got to be kidding me. And did he really reject you? Or did you just do the thing where you think you know exactly what’s going on but don’t really notice and just hear what you want to hear?”

“I don’t do that,” Daichi mumbled. He remembered that night, or at least he thought he did. He remembered Suga’s weight on his lap and the tears that streamed down his face when he said he couldn’t. “Do I?”

“Ya do, but it’s okay. You have redeeming qualities,” Tanaka grinned. 

“Wow. Thank you,” Daichi joked and looked around the room. “But, as much as I love your pep talks, we need to finish packing at some point. Preferably before the show starts.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tanaka grumbled as he grabbed a handful of cables. 

On the way over to Kageyama’s house, Tanaka leaned back into the seat and let out a long sigh. “Well, you’re gonna do what you’re gonna do, and I don’t really know what’s going on, but Suga’s always struck me as pretty brave. I mean, he had to drop out of school and make his own way. Then he lost his job, but still managed to deal with us. And now, on top of it all, you’re being kind of a dick.”

Daichi stared straight ahead and gripped the steering wheel.

“Even if he DID do something, takes two to tango. Honestly, he’s probably one of the bravest people I know and, not gonna lie, I know a lot of people,” Tanaka added smugly. 

That was the last straw. “I get your point. Just.. let’s not do this now? I don’t know if you remember, but there’s a big show tonight? One that you are playing in? Ringing any bells?” Daichi reached over to smack him upside the head.

Tanaka laughed and dodged Daichi’s strike. 

Daichi glanced at Tanaka before returning his eyes to the road. “For a guy that just bangs sticks on drums all day, you’re pretty observant.”

“Eh, I’m pretty much the best wingman in the country,” Tanaka paused, “nay, the world!”

Daichi rolled his eyes. He was just about to ask about his qualifications, but Daichi’s phone vibrated and cut off the conversation. 

Tanaka swiped the phone and, before Daichi could stop him, he narrated the messages. “Just Asahi. Says he picked up Tsukishima and Yamaguchi early and now he’s going to the café to wait for everyone else and then meet us at the bar.”

“Good,” Daichi hummed. They spent the rest of the ride to Kageyama’s house in comfortable silence. Tanaka tapped out some of the songs from the setlist on his lap and Daichi followed along on the steering wheel. 

They pulled up in front of Kageyama’s house and Daichi barely had to stop. Kageyama jumped up from the front porch and scrambled to meet them. He squeezed into the back of the truck with his guitar and they were off to the bar.

Daichi looked into the rearview mirror. “Nervous?” He asked.

Kageyama looked at Daichi in the mirror. “No.”

“Not even about your song?”

Tanaka perked up and turned around. “Yeah! Tonight’s the night! It’s gonna be great!”

“I agree. Hinata’s going to love it,” Daichi confirmed.

Kageyama’s features softened and looked at each of them sheepishly. “You think so?” 

Tanaka nodded enthusiastically and Daichi went over the setlist in his head. He thought about the way Hinata would react to seeing Kageyama sing, instead of the other way around. 

“Hey Kageyama, remember that song that you and Hinata played at the party?” Daichi asked suddenly. 

He thought about it for a second before his eyes lit up with recognition. “Change?”

“Is that the title?” Daichi made a mental note of it. “Why didn’t either of you mention it when we were pulling songs for tonight? I don’t think it would’ve been too hard for us to learn, and it was kind of slow, but it might’ve fit nicely in the set. It was stunning.”

Kageyama cocked his head. “Suga never really gave us permission to use it.”

“Suga didn’t give you permission?” Daichi was confused. “I know he has all of us on a pretty tight leash, but I’m sure he would’ve agreed if you played it for him. It was really incredible.”

“Played it for him?” Kageyama asked. “Suga’s heard it before. He wrote it.”

Daichi’s head jerked back in surprise. “Must’ve been an old song, then.”

Kageyama shook his head. “He wrote a couple days before the party. Hinata was being an idiot and snooped around in his papers. He got attached to it before Suga could take it away.”

He tried to put the timeline together. Suga wrote it just before the housewarming party, which meant that it was probably written after Daichi’s confession. Why didn’t Suga show him? 

All of the pain, hope, and struggle of the song came back to him. Daichi thought about the lyrics that stuck with him.

Knowing right, being wrong. How bad, how good, does it need to get? How many losses, how much regret, would make you turn around? Would make you change?

It was painful to admit, but Tanaka had been right. Suga went through so much alone. He lost his job, he fell back on what he knew so that he could what? So that he could continue to be there for everyone? Daichi felt something like anger bubble up inside of him. Why didn’t Suga let him help? 

Then it hit him. It hit him hard. Suga never let him in because he was afraid that Daichi would run. And he did. He ran away when Suga needed him the most. Daichi inhaled sharply.

“Isn’t that the bar?” Tanaka pointed out as they whizzed by the building. 

“Crap!” 

Daichi looked for a place to turn around safely and found his chance at the next intersection. Daichi turned into the service alley behind the building and parked the car. 

The back door opened and they were greeted by Noya’s excited shouts. Daichi took a deep, steadying breath and looked back at Kageyama, who had an impressive look of determination plastered on his face.

Asahi joined them and they started to unload their equipment into the bar. Amp in hand, Daichi ventured into the bar last.

He saw Hinata and Kageyama eyeing each other on stage. Daichi was afraid that they’d start kicking and screaming, but, after a couple seconds, they both turned to continue what they were doing. Asahi was adjusting the mic stands and Daichi checked the time. At the rate they were going, it would take two hours to set it all up, and he was about to tell them to move it along when a familiar shade of gray caught his eye at the bar.

Tsukishima watched everyone set up with a drink in hand and Yamaguchi, next to him, looked like he might be sick. Suga rubbed his back while talking to Ukai behind the bar. Daichi glared at Tsukishima, who just shrugged, and then he let his eyes linger briefly on the back of Suga’s head before he turned back to the stage.

Once they were done setting up, everyone from the stage gathered around the bar, which had gotten crowded. They formed a circle and Daichi looked across to Suga, who gave him a small nod.

Daichi cleared his throat in order to speak over the gathering crowd. Everyone looked at him expectantly. “You all know the drill. Just remember to listen to each other on stage. Noya’s got our backs off stage, so eyes on him if you need anything. Everyone know the set list? Hinata?” Hinata stuck his hands in his pockets and pulled out a crumpled set list. Daichi gave him a thumbs up and kept going. “Alright guys, let’s get behind the stage and prep,” Daichi paused and swallowed. “Suga? Do you want to say anything?”

For the first time that evening, Suga smiled wide. He took one look around the group before going to each and every single one of them. He whacked Asahi in the side, high-fived Noya, and rubbed Tanaka’s head. He hit Tsukishima in the arm and patted Yamaguchi on the back. He elbowed Kageyama in the side and ruffled Hinata’s hair. Daichi watched everyone smile back at Suga and warmth flooded his entire body. 

Suga stopped at Daich, put both hands on his shoulders, and squeezed. Daichi relaxed into his touch. Suga let go and turned to face the band, who were all wearing confident smiles. “Make me proud!” He said with a bright grin.

Daichi addressed the group one last time. “Take to the Skies, let’s do this!” 

Everyone cheered and ran to the stage, but Daichi was unable to move away from the man next to him. People from the crowd wove around them.

“You should go, who knows what kind of trouble they’ll get themselves into without their fearless leader,” Suga said with his eyes glue to the stage.

“Yeah, I should,” Daichi managed to say. They needed to talk. They needed to play a show. He turned away from Suga and marched toward the stage.

Once they were all behind their instruments, Daichi looked out into the murmuring crowd. Hinata introduced the band and Tanaka counted them off and the show started. Daichi cleared his mind and took in the music around him like the air he breathed. He let it invade every corner of his mind and focused on the people around him, his friends, and their talent.

Hinata and Kageyama worked together seamlessly, like they had never been apart. Daichi watched them in awe and couldn’t help but smile as they approached the end of the set. 

At the end of the official set, Hinata and Asahi jumped off stage but everyone else stayed. Hinata spun around in disbelief, because, to his knowledge, the show was over, but Asahi guided him to where Suga was waiting to hold him in place.

Daichi looked out into the crowd and found a lot of familiar faces staring back at him. Kiyoko and Yachi. His co-workers. Bokuto had one in the air and cheered while the other was wrapped around Akaashi. Kuroo stood next to Kenma, who had his head in his phone but couldn’t hide the way the edges of his mouth turned up into a smile. Kinoshita, Narita, and Ennoshita watched the stage and laughed happily. But where was the person he really wanted to see? 

Finally, he found Suga, who stared up at him with caramel eyes and flushed skin. The blue lights from the stage reflected in Suga’s hair, just like the first time Daichi saw him. And, just like the first time he had ever seen him, Daichi was almost floored by how beautiful he was.

Kageyama put his guitar down and stepped up to the mic. He leaned in to speak. “Uh, this is our last song. I wrote it for a dumbass,” Daichi coughed loudly and Kageyama corrected himself, “Sorry, I wrote it for my dumbass.” Daichi rolled his eyes and heard Suga laugh loudly from the crowd. “We’re Take to the Skies and hope you like it. Thanks.”

Kageyama looked at each one of them. Daichi started to strum. Yamaguchi came in on the keyboard. Tanaka came in on the drums and Tsukishima on the bass. Kageyama closed his eyes and started to sing.

    Shining like a work of art,  
    Hanging on a wall of stars,  
    Are you what I think you are?

Daichi looked for Suga again in the crowd. Suga watched Kageyama with rapt attention, his hands clasped together at his chin. Hinata stood slack jawed at his side and Asahi bobbed his head. Daichi kept his eyes on Suga until he looked back. 

    You’re my satellite,  
    You’re riding with me tonight,  
    Passenger side, lighting the sky,  
    Always the first star that I find  
    You’re my satellite.

Suga watched Kageyama sing into the microphone and felt Hinata vibrate by his side. He looked to Daichi, who stared back at him like he was the only one in the room.

    Elevator to the moon,  
    Whistling our favorite tune,  
    Trying to get a closer view...

Hinata started to bounce up and down, his hands raised to his face. Suga’s eyes shone with tears.

    You’re my satellite.  
    You’re riding with me tonight,  
    Passenger side, lighting the sky,  
    Always the first star that I find,  
    You’re my satellite.

Suga watched the way Daichi’s muscles moved under the band t-shirt that was now soaked in sweat. His tan skin shone under the lights and Suga felt his breath hitch in his throat. Daichi was his satellite. He was Daichi’s satellite. They wouldn’t give up on each other and they were far from over.

    Maybe you will always be  
    Just a little out of reach.

A smile slowly crept over Daichi’s face and it grew until he couldn’t stretch his mouth any wider. Suga responded with a smile of his own. 

    You’re my satellite.  
    You’re riding with me tonight,  
    Passenger side, lighting the sky,  
    Always the first star that I find,

Suga’s heart started to race and he grasped Hinata’s hand. 

    You’re my satellite...  
    You’re my satellite. 

Daichi mouthed the last two verses along with Kageyama and Suga put his hand over his heart. The music wound down and stopped. There was a pause before the crowd erupted in applause. 

Suga watched as Noya jumped Tanaka from behind the stage. Yamaguchi’s knees practically gave way, but Tsukishima was close enough to support him. Kageyama blinked out into the crowd and Suga let go of Hinata’s hand. He burst forward, scrambled up onto the stage, and leapt into Kageyama’s arms, his legs wrapped around Kageyama’s waist. Kageyama blushed and sputtered as Hinata kissed every part of his face.

Asahi jumped back up on the stage, too, and Daichi brought them all in for a hug before they thanked the crowd and bowed again. Suga ran to the bar to make sure that the tab he set up for the guys was all set. Ukai was busy, so he waited as patiently as he could until he got the go-ahead from the bartender.

When Suga got back to the area in front of the stage, the band had already come down and their group had grown. Suga stood back and watched the landslide of familiar faces descend upon the band. Kuroo and Kenma. Bokuto and Akaashi. Kiyoko and Yachi. Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita. Suga searched the happy group for the person he most wanted to see. 

“Where’s Daichi?” Suga asked Asahi. He brushed his long hair, slick with sweat, behind his ear. 

Noya popped out from behind Asahi, “Suga! What’d you think?”

Suga tsked him. “Are you really going to make me answer that? Did you not hear yourselves?”

Asahi laughed and Suga looked down to see that they were holding hands. He gasped and pointed, which made Asahi jerk his hand away, but Noya held on tightly and flashed Suga his brightest smile. “Weren’t you looking for Daichi?” 

Suga took another look around and still didn’t see him. He glared at the two of them. “I guess. But you guys owe me the whole story later.” 

He left Asahi and Noya in search of Daichi, but had no luck. Suga stumbled upon Hinata and asked him.

“I don’t know where he is, but he asked me where you were and I didn’t see you so I said that you left?” Hinata answered.

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Suga, I think he went out the front of the bar,” Kageyama pointed.

“What the hell Kageyama?! You sing a song about how much you love me and now you’re breaking my heart?!”

“I’m just saying it was dumb! I still like you!”

“You said it was the ‘dumbest’ thing you’ve ever heard. And what do you mean still?”

“I mean I’ll always like you!” Kageyama blurted out.

“I’ll always like you longer!” Hinata yelled back. 

Suga had a feeling he wouldn’t get much farther with them and headed to the front entrance. 

It was quiet outside the bar and it took Suga a second to acclimate to the silence. He looked around the parking lot for Daichi, but didn’t see him. His heart pounded. He looked around the side of the building, into the service alley, and saw that Daichi’s truck was still there. Suga hated that he was missing the post-show celebration, but he hated this even more. 

Dejected, Suga was about to go back into the bar when a figure moved across the street and caught his attention. He looked closely. A very familiar someone paced at the bus stop across the street. Suga saw them reach for their phone and touch the screen. Suga’s phone buzzed in his pocket - incoming call from Daichi. Butterflies filled his stomach and Suga laughed quietly. Phone in hand, he ignored the call and snuck up to the stop.

Suga tapped him on the shoulder and Daichi whipped around and stared at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. His face shone with sweat and his eyes were watery. He moved his mouth, but no words came out. 

“Is that how I looked when you surprised me at the bus stop outside your work all those months ago? What’re you doing all the way out here?” Suga asked with mischievous grin.

Daichi rubbed the back of his head and tried a couple times before he was able to speak. “I came off the stage to find you, and you weren’t there. No one knew where you were, and Hinata said you had left, so I was afraid,” Daichi swallowed, “I was afraid you were gone, Suga.”

Suga took a step toward him. “What? Why would I leave?”

Daichi put his hands on Suga’s upper arms. He searched Suga’s face and his lip trembled. “I’m sorry, Suga. I’m so sorry. You needed me and I failed you. Someone told me that I only hear what I want to, or something and I -”

“Tanaka?” Suga asked.

Daichi blinked. “What?”

“Sorry. Nothing. You were saying?”

“Anyway, what I want to say, what I should’ve said a long time ago, is that I want to be there for you. No matter what. It’s crazy, but I knew from the moment I saw you, all those years ago, at that stupid karaoke bar. Suga, I want you to tell me things and I want to tell you things. Everything. I want to take you out on dates, on lots of dates - “ Daichi was out of breath by the time Suga interrupted. 

“Hey Daichi?” Suga moved close enough that he felt the heat from his body.

“Hey Suga?” He breathed. 

Suga leaned into Daichi and put a hand on his chest. “Can you just shut up and kiss me?” 

“Shouldn’t we talk first?” Daichi squeaked.

Suga hummed and moved his head back and forth like he was thinking. “I have a better idea. We could kiss first.” 

“Shouldn’t we set an example, for Hinata and Kag -” Daichi stopped talking when felt Suga’s lips ghost over his own. 

“Don’t make me ask you again,” Suga whispered. 

Daichi would never make him ask again. He pulled Suga flush against his body and leaned in to kiss the man he loved, the man who loved him back.

“About friggin’ time!” Tanaka shouted from the doors. Noya whistled from behind him and Daichi closed his eyes. He was about to shout back at them when Suga took Daichi’s face in his hands and brought their lips together.

It was only them. It would always be them.

When Suga pulled away, Daichi chased his mouth to continue the kiss, but Suga put a finger to his lips and laughed.

“I heard an amazing new band just finished performing and there’s a celebration going on in the bar. We should check that out and continue this,” Suga motioned between them, “later.”

Daichi looked at him through dark lashes, the soft yellow of the streetlights highlighted the golden brown flecks in his otherwise dark eyes. “An amazing band, huh? But I’m pretty happy right here.”

His voice made Suga shudder, but he held his ground. “I also heard that an awesome, generous, incredibly talented songwriter opened up a tab for all the members of that amazing band,” Suga said playfully. 

“Open tab?” Daichi’s brows knitted together. “But that’s too much, Suga, you didn’t have to…”

“I wanted to treat you all to something after your hard work, I mean, you guys earned it,” Suga said with forced composure.

Daichi took a step back and held out his hand. “Well, it would be awful to let that awesome, generous, incredibly talented, handsome, wonderful songwriter’s treat go to waste. Shall we?”

Suga felt tears stinging behind his eyes. “Together?”

“Together.”

He grabbed Daichi’s hand and looked ahead. He saw the band gathered by the doors. Kageyama stood with his arm around Hinata’s shoulders. Noya beckoned them over and Asahi smiled wide. He saw the lights spill out from inside the bar, heard the din of the crowd and the hum of the music. He squeezed Daichi’s hand, which made him look back at Suga as they walked toward their friends.

Everything was ahead of him and Sugawara Koushi could finally say that he looked forward to every single minute of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all she wrote.
> 
>  
> 
> [Satellite by Guster](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZtYa7UhCWc)
> 
>  
> 
> If this were a movie, this song would be playing in the credits - [Find a Way by Safety Suit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KxKgLnlpR8). Big thank you to [Fern](http://conundrum101.tumblr.com/%20) for recommending it! The lyrics are perfect for sticky sweet daisugas :)
> 
> Finally, here's the [8tracks playlist](http://8tracks.com/jellyryans/satellite).
> 
> Just... thank you all. For everything. For taking the time to read my story. For your kindness. For your enthusiasm. 
> 
> Find me on tumblr [@jellyryans](http://jellyryans.tumblr.com/post/147251420582/the-final-chapter-of-satellite-is-up-sugawara/).


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